The Reason I Live Is Christ

2008-02-27T12:39:00.004+08:00

Change of Blog Address

2007-06-30T12:59:00.001+08:00

-- BLOG HAS BEEN SHIFTED TO http://p3ngsiang.blogspot.com --

I'm shifting my blog to a new address so please note that you'll have to relink me =) Reason for shifting is in the first post of my new blog.

*note that the new blog has the same template so don't get confused. Only the address is different =D

The End/ The Transition/ The Start of Something New

2007-06-24T20:36:00.000+08:00

The end was the temp job at lenovo. the last day of work seemed very weird. felt free yet at the same time unable to accept how it has already ended... it was a short 3 months yet i've made friends with a few colleagues.. just somehow i doubt i'll never meet them again.. neither do i have to intention to keep in contact... i was however more close to the other 3 temps who are also going into uni with me... and yep will see them in uni.. haha

The transition was the timely lesson during cg. I had the idea my last week at work can finally slack since Messenger is over. then Romans told me to take over e lesson during cg cos he had a rehearsal. a heavy message. sharp. piercing. i ensured the whole impact was delivered and identified myself with the audience as i taught the word of God. When my subconcious caught the look on the faces of the members as i taught, feeling the silence and the seriousness in the atmosphere in the room, i knew the word of God did not spare anyone from its impact. it is never possible for a person to come face to face with God's standard and doesn't feel anything. A sincere believer is not one who seeks eternal life and hence believe as an option, but one who really hates sin and how it separates him from the one he loves, and how he desires to be found righteous and pleasing to his Lord. He who is not desperate for God does not bother if God is in his life or not.

The start. a few more hours to a 5-day camp. not my idea to join. a friend asked me to join him. another says it's the best time to know more ppl. i needed the exposure anyway. then i got to know its program and i was worried. shared to a few close friends about it but the Lord has assured me not to worry. with the message i taught, it is time to live it out. i'll be hoping to share to at least 2 people in the camp. praying for opportunity and good rapport building.

***

I will never forsake the Lord...

because if i'm not a Christian, i do not know what i will be....

so that's my first... and only calling....

The end of another phase

2007-06-20T16:30:00.001+08:00

2 more days and my job at Lenovo is over... and so my temp job phase comes to an end... many people after hearing what i do in office keep complaining i got a slack job. i did. i looked at it as being given an office to do ministry work in haha!

true enough, after the messenger, i tot i can finally start surfing net and just slack through the whole day... no more sun sch or cg lessons to teach, no more events to plan... but God says that's all.. you can go home now!...i was suppose to work until end of this month, but i have a Science Camp next week so i'm ending one week earlier. i did ask if i could extent into july.. but boss say cannot!

haiz.. oh well... too slack is never God's plan for me.. neither do i want it haha... think i'll do some packing and prep for the various camps and overseas trip!

25th June - 29th June --- NUS SCAMP (Science Fac Camp)

9 ~ 13 July --- Thailand Mission Trip Recce with Romans

16th - 19th July --- Juntos (NUS Rovers Camp)

4th Aug - 7th Aug --- Hong Kong trip with OAC friends (we are going shoppin lah.. still quite adventurous!)

that's my super happening life before my uni starts.. whee~ i might end up spending everything i earned this 3 months! oh well..... >.<

***

Here's an interesting site i've found. I'm gonna try the solutions out. Hopefully my slouching days will come to an end...! =)

http://www.drbookspan.com/NeckPainArticle.html

The Messenger - Decoding the Message

2007-06-18T11:40:00.000+08:00

More than a month of planning...
Endless Recces...
3 times into Sentosa...
4 times to Labrador Park...
Days of brain racking, visualizing, predicting, planning, coordinating...

and i missed out 1 factor... TIME...

i felt the program "crashed". objectives weren't met. it was hard to accept, and i had never been good at thinking on my toes...

many lessons i've shared during the Leaders' Retreat was tested yet again.. Depending on God instead of trying to patch up things by myself, making it worse... Believing God's ways are greater than mine... I liked things to be perfect as how i want it... now i'm wondering if that is pride over the work i'm doing...

I was spending time decoding the message I've received from the true Messenger Himself... the question "Why?" kept bothering me as the wind, the waves, the tiredness made me even more emotional.. No, i wasn't depressed, nor sad, because at the back of my mind, i knew it's about God, how He is in control. i knew i did what i could, even though some areas i was unfaithful and could have done a bit more...so what's God trying to tell me? I had to discern.. many voices and thoughts of kinds convicting me, comforting me, confusing me...

it wasn't very complicated... i admit i didn't do it very well, things went wrong, i learn, God still in control, His gospel is not hindered by my mistakes. A whole event, He used it as an experience to teach me. how privileged can i get... heh!

Things to takeaway:

I've taken the train into Sentosa! more than many ppl i know haha
I've been to Labrador Park more often than many ppl i know
I've found out my audio recordings are really amusing Lol!
I never knew Romans can walk so far when i recce with him
I can remember exactly where fort canning, hong lim and maxwell food centre is and what buses to take
I get to meet Jean Shen's friends and also my old jc fren
I grew closer to the Lord...

Jumping as We Worship (a response to Sarah's post on Sun 3rd June)

2007-06-15T15:06:00.000+08:00

I'll begin this post with a passage from the word of God as basis of this discussion...

2 Samuel 6:14-16,20-22

14 And David was dancing before the LORD with all his might, and David was wearing a linen ephod.

15 So David and all the house of Israel were bringing up the ark of the LORD with shouting and the sound of the trumpet.

16 Then it happened as the ark of the LORD came into the city of David that Michal the daughter of Saul looked out of the window and saw King David leaping and dancing before the LORD; and she despised him in her heart.

20 But when David returned to bless his household, Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David and said, "How the king of Israel distinguished himself today! He uncovered himself today in the eyes of his servants' maids as one of the foolish ones shamelessly uncovers himself!"

21 So David said to Michal, "It was before the LORD, who chose me above your father and above all his house, to appoint me ruler over the people of the LORD, over Israel; therefore I will celebrate before the LORD.

22 "I will be more lightly esteemed than this and will be humble in my own eyes, but with the maids of whom you have spoken, with them I will be distinguished."

Let's make some simple observation of the passage before i share my views on the topic. Here we have David, the newly appointed King of Israel. The context is that they are bringing the ark of the covenant (the very symbol that God used to show the nation of Israel that He is in their midst) to the capital city - Jerusalem. Then we see David dancing with all his might before the Lord. I do not know the culture back then cos i did not research, but i wouldn't say it is those siao kind anyhow dance one since it is before the Lord. But note that he took off his robe (wearing only linen ephod, i'm not sure what is that, but since the word disrobe is used, i suppose it isn't as glam as the King's robe, perhaps making him look very common, smth a King normally won't do)

then we have Michal, the daughter of Saul (the previous King) who despised David for dancing like that, and spoil his image of King in front of the nation.

So now i move on to the discussion... hehe the word of God is important, can't start without it... Sarah's post on 3rd June got me thinking about the jumpin in worship... i've seen enough when i was visiting mega churches.. i was always "wow what a passionate bunch" then very soon it became a "heh, come on lah, jump as much as u want, you are not going to show it in ur life anyway." i was also thinking, gee this jumping thing is not me...

but lately i had been praying whenever i enter to worship God in sunday service. I always asked God to remind me of who He is in my life, and to let nothing come between my expression of worship to Him. I treasure this intimacy with God that self-awareness or worrying how others look at me lessens.

when David danced before the Lord, it wasn't a show. He knew his position before God. He remembered how the Lord has been gracious to him. His life testifies (proves) that he seeks after the heart of God. So when the opportunity comes to express his love for God.. He danced... with all his might. It sparked from the close relationship, the gratefulness towards God, the love for God. and that should be our guideline too. if we are not worshipping God with all our might, it tells a lot about our relationship with God, it tells how much we treasure Him. Don't even talk about jumping, sometimes our lips are singing, but our mind are elsewhere! sometimes we sing because the tune and music is nice. do you think of the lyrics, remember how the week has been as you sing?

If God has been great in your life, it is really hard to restrain yourself from shouting, singing, jumping, raising hands, dancing. I agree with Sarah, your singing is to God. He is the audience, not those around you. Those around you suppose to focus on God too, so they won't look at you with the weird eye.. haha!

Still, i feel a need to discuss about Michal. For me, my attitude towards those that jump around in worship is despise. That's pride. That's judging others. I don't know them, what if their lives are truly inline with what they do in service? Then that will really put me to shame. because that will show just how dead is my love for God. but of course, if you try to put up at act before God, God knows. It is bad enough for you to tell lies about how you are willing to live for God. Worse, your lies come along with a tune and dancing!

Focus of our worship is God. Our worship is the day we live our lives. I love the first verse from Casting Crowns' Lifesong. I shall end this discussion with it...

Empty hands held high
Such small sacrifice
Not joined with my life
I sing in vain tonight

May the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You...

Devotion #3 1 Tim 4:7a

2007-06-13T23:49:00.000+08:00

Yes, the conclusion is rather lacking.. but it is a statement based on the 2nd part of verse 6 which says "constantly nourished on the words of the faith and of the sound doctrine which you have been following" so the conclusion was based on that...of course a good servant of Christ Jesus is more than that.. which i'm slowing exploring as i go thru this passage over the next few days as my QT.

"But have nothing to do with worldly fables fit only for old women On the other hand, discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness;"

i was thinking on "worldly fables" and "have nothing to do" for today...

Worldly fables.. at first when i think of the word "fable", i was thinking of tales that teach a moral lesson like those i hear when i was young. but when i look it up in the dictionary, this word is also used for stories not based on fact, myths, falsehood, idle talk. it also means the opposite of truth, refused. referring to john macarthur's teaching, the "fit only for old women" is used to bring out the fact that it is irrational to listen to worldly fables. old - because when u get old, u lose your ability to process information. women - well women live long, old men were dead.. (cultural context)

"have nothing to do" simply excusing yourself from its environment, decline to receive it. the worse thing to do is to be under a teacher who teaches error.. especially when both of u think it's true!

during lunch break today i was hanging around the library with my friends. this time instead of finding a corner to sleep, i was just browsing and strolling around. i came to the religion section and was curious what books they had over there. among all the books, this one caught my attention. "The Resurrection of Christ" i was like ok.. interesting... then after picking it up, reading the back of the book, i was rather shocked. it was a book claiming to discredit and prove that the resurrection did not happen! i flipped through the pages and saw how the author used the bible verses to explain. he mentioned the context and the intent of the bible authors like Paul and the disciples. i felt i was wasting time reading it so i put it back... the next book that i can rem was this one calling crossing faith under the Singapore section. it was transcripts of top religious people talking about tackling and bringing together the various religions. Muslim and Christianity. Christianity and the Chinese Traditions.. it was very politically correct, very "on-the-fence", with keeping the harmony as its purpose. i skimmed through a few pages then was bored again...

it was only until i was sitting the bus back, God reminded me of verse 7.. then i was like.. wow.. what is God trying to tell me?

It is not exactly totally related to the verse, and avoiding such books is a denial of the reality. If i am confident of my faith, sure of the truth, knowing that the truth cannot change, why do i worry about reading such books?

i need some time to think to consolidate my thoughts.. will do it tmr. shall pray now... =)

Devotion 12 June 1 Tim 4:6

2007-06-12T22:22:00.000+08:00

"In pointing out these things to the brethren, you will be a good servant of Christ Jesus, constantly nourished on the words of the faith and of the sound doctrine which you have been following."

I was looking at this verse this morning on my way to work and i want share the observations i made for these phrases - "constantly nourished", "words of the faith", and "sound doctrine"

"Constantly Nourished"
When i think of the word "Nourished" i think of food, undernourishment etc. Food is essential for a person to live and be healthy. If a person is undernourished, it can easily be been from his physical appearance. So i was just thinking, is the word of God food to me? Wouldn't it be obvious to others when i stop being nourished by God's word? yes it will be, where my relationship with God will suffer, and when the relationship is not right it can be easily seen in other areas of my life.

Constantly suggests an on-going process. Just like food, you can't stop eating for a period of time. It must be constant, it must be continual. Since i do eat everyday, i don't see why the frequency of reading the bible should be any lesser.

"words of the faith"
the word faith kind of reminds me of how this faith to believe the word of God is given by God Himself. reminds me also how my understanding of the faith is based on the bible. so the word of God is the foundation, and hence it is crucial. how can i know about the faith, know about God if i don't constantly read the bible?

"sound doctrine"
Paul emphasized that we must be constantly nourished in sound doctrine, not any doctrine. It must be sound. It must be correct, accurate, precise. And the only way to be sound/accurate is simply studying it diligently. Reading, Observing, comparing... that's how I will not end up mis-interpreting the bible, or even become a false teacher!

Conclusion
A good servant of Christ Jesus is a diligent bible student.

Devotion Passage 1 Tim 4:6

2007-06-11T22:07:00.000+08:00

I had been trying out various materials to do my daily devotions (QT) lately... there was a time i used the passages that i had to teach, and times i used a book, times i went back to Our Journey, now i'm gonna simply spend the next few days on this short passage alone.. doing a verse at a time... I guess it is important not to let daily devotions become a ritual where you end up going through the motion. But bear in mind that not doing QT at all is worse than rushing thru it because i've realised God can use the little passage you've read and bring it to your mind during the day. I'm going to explore various ways to do it... but the basic principle remains, time to read God's word, time to pray...

The passage i'm gonna pick is on 1 Tim 4:6-16, a passage we went through during Leader's retreat. it's a good way to reinforce what i've already learnt and explore deeper into the rich meanings of God's word...

I shall post my observation and interpretation of the passages, but shall write my application and reflection in my book since i want it to be personal and honest =)

beginning on verse 6...

"In pointing out these things to the brethren, you will be a good servant of Christ Jesus, constantly nourished on the words of the faith and of the sound doctrine which you have been following."

i would like to explore the words 'you will be a good servant of Christ". When i follow the "words of the faith and of the sound doctrine" or in other words if i follow Christ, if i choose to be a Christian, one thing is certain. I will be called a servant of Christ. I am a servant. I am not a young master ("shao ye" as what my parents would call). I am not being served but i am to serve. So it is clear that Christians are to serve. It's not just about what you receive, as a servant, it is about serving.

Since our position before God is clear, we are unworthy sinners, God is Lord/ King over us. Our position is that of a servant. and so I must constantly be watchful whenever i have a proud and demanding attitude towards God or other people. God did not put me as His prince or royal subject... so i don't demand royal attention..

"In pointing out these things to the brethren". In the previous verse, "these things" refer to "deceitful spirits and doctrine of demons". it can mean false doctrine or simply things that are not true, errors. To be a good servant of Jesus Christ, i must point out errors to people. The verse is straight forward. When i see fellow Christians behaving wrongly and saying wrong things, i must point it out. when i chat with non-believers, i cannot keep quiet of the truth i know.

i so happen to have a chance to chat with a jc fren online. he asked the key question - "How r u?" i begin to realise how this question is a chance for me to share my life and opens opportunity to talk about God. so i told him about the recent retreat, shared with him how i was busy but joyful. Then he asked why i kept doing events, and stuff, and he shared about his passions in teaching ppl Er Hu and Wu Shu, and business people. while talking, this verse came to mind, as much as i would want to keep the good rapport with him, i knew i had to tell him the truth. He mentioned about how both of us are similar, passionate people. with God's help, i found courage to type the following and press enter. I had to tell him we are diff because our motivation and what we are pursuing are diff. one is temporal and the other is eternal. that's why i see the urgency is telling people what i've once told him. (i did share the gospel with him before over a lunch)

Pointing out errors (the truth) to people. If i want to be a Christian, if i want to follow Christ, be a good servant of Christ, i have to point out the truth to people. And i hope you will seek God for the courage to do so too.

Being Moulded by God

2007-06-06T09:50:00.000+08:00

i was listening to John Macaruthur's podcast on The Master's Man and the 2 teachings on Peter really brought the character to life for me! Everything was connected - he brought Peter's whole story to life as he explained Peter's experiences with Jesus, the questions he asked, the rebukes he got, the disappointments, then how Peter became the Man Jesus wanted him to be. When Jesus left them, Peter left a great impact in the early establishment of the church and even wrote 2 epistles on what he learnt from the Lord.

It felt so real because God also used experiences to teach me many things to prepare me for His use. Jesus taught Peter humility, submission, love, sacrifice from real life experiences recorded in the gospels. Looking back, i see God's perfect plan in how i've changed... decided to write this for His glory...

Submission
God taught me submission way before i was called to know Him personally. The strict discipline i've received from St John's and OAC (and then reinforced when i was in the Army) taught me to submit even to the most unreasonable instructors/seniors. I was scolded, trained, disciplined. There were thoughts of rebelling, but we learned to have respect for them and never spoke against them or openly disobeyed their instructions. Those given authority over us are given by God. Though i didn't know about this fact at that time, i see those experiences are foundational for me to remember for life.

Humility
from young, God always kept me small, short, timid. (haha, i must say that it did contribute to learning humility) I faced many failures when i was planning games back in my sec sch days... when i chose not to seek for advice and just did what i thought was correct... But the clear understanding of humility came from God's teaching, accepting that all are sinners. I'm no better than anyone else. and now I never allowed myself to receive credit for the things i do, because that's stealing the glory from God which is rightfully His...

Love
i've always been a very task-minded person.. get this done, go home. i rarely just hang out with friends and chill haha.. but God placed in my life people like Dazzlyn and Romans who guided me to realise that ministry has always been about people... showing love to the people i minister to..

Sacrifice
at what length am i willing to hang on to God. God really tested me on this one. just 4 months after i accepted Him, i had a real 'bloody' (literally) encounter with leeches. then there's A levels. Army was the great test. having to choose God against everyone and comfort...

When i lacked understanding, God gave me Bethel Series and wonderful preachers. when i lacked experience God got me to start out small. when i lacked skills, God equipped me through YFC and 'on-the-job' training from Romans.

These were some lessons God specifically taught me through experiences so that i can serve Him today. But even today, there are still lesson He is teaching me.. to prepare me for what is ahead... It has been very cool and happening... and it will be even more so in the days ahead! haha =)

Overnight Cycling! - PPB only

2007-05-31T17:37:00.000+08:00

Start:
30th May 2007
1100pm

End:
31st May 2007
0630am

Est total dist: ~40km

Checkpoints:
Kallang KFC
Merlion Park
Labrador Park
Geylang Lorong 9

Interesting Sights Seen:
Lovers
Night Clubbers/Smokers
Empty Night Club with loud music
Police Road Block
Cars... Lots of them... passing beside you..

Words to describe the experience:
Suan-ness
"I'm gonna make it!"
Adventurous
Slope!
Flash -.-

I'm really getting old... Can't believe how i had to struggle through such a short dist cycling.. I remember how i did longer distances in the past and still survive.. This night cycling really took a lot of me to complete.. i was feeling the suan-ness when we were only half way thru!

Some videos for u all to enjoy.. I apologize cos i'm not very pro at cycling with one hand holding e handle and the other filming... but u get to feel what's it like to cycle with us! (note that i didn't take much pictures while on the move.. cos will be blurred due to low lighting)

The Club which is super empty

Cycling along Keppel Road - Orderly

Cycling along Keppel Road - Havoc!

Cycling through Clark Quay

Reflections from studying Rom 11

2007-05-30T14:57:00.000+08:00

It was really quite a journey studying rom 9-11 ever since 4 weeks ago. From studying for the overview, to uncovering the meaning verse by verse, word by word, i think this passage is by far the most amount of time i had ever spent studying on.

I was listening to John Macarthur's podcast as he commented how some guidelines in preparing lessons and sermons.

1) Perspective
2) Preparation
3) Pace
4) Personal
5) Persecution

of all the things, i remembered pace and personal very well cos it spoke directly to my current situation. I'm told that slower is better than faster and deeper is better than shallower. I cannot just skim through the surface of the text and spend most of my time simplifying the deep and rich meanings. I have to take time not only to study carefully but to teach deeper into each verse. then i remembered how for rom 10 my 2nd sun sch lesson, i constructed a frame and tried to force the passage into it. it was easy work. catchy headings, explain some key words and spend my time on the application.

listening to the podcast i was totally challenged to do it the other way. i gotta first study with the 4th P in mind. Personal. I gotta study the text not because i need to teach it, but because i want to find out more and how it will help ME in MY relationship with God. I honestly say that it is easier to teach than to apply into ur own life. So i spend extra time and effort doing that for the past 2 weeks. then i'm told NOT to fit the passage to the timing given to me. Sun Sch is 40mins... but if i need to, i'll spend more time explaining clearly a few verses than rushing thru paragraphs.

Rom 11 isn't exactly straight forward. Israel's history and future, God's character, reading the commentary is only the first step, i even need to take time understand what the commentary meant!

Now i really know what John Macarthur meant when it is really hardwork. But it is necessary to use God's word and allow God to teach His sermon, rather than me taking an idea and teach my own sermon. People need to hear God, not me... even if they are only youths, even if they are only a small class.. it is still important to be faithful to the text...

Prayer... It really did caused me to depend on God.. and i saw how God at times withheld understanding from me, when i seek to study the passage for the wrong reasons... and how it got easier when i seek His heart... I do pray this sun sch lesson (after being delayed by 1 week by His grace) would be one God will speak and impact all who hears, including myself...

"Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways!"

"For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen."

Romans 11:33,36

Stepping into 21

2007-05-29T10:37:00.000+08:00

My environment is changing... whether i like it or not. The responsibilities i must bear, the issues i handle, the struggles i face....

I'm not sure if I'm forced to mature fast enough to adapt and tackle these issues, or that because I have matured over the past year and decide i should begin to tackle them...

Career is a big issue. It involves the Course you do in Uni and all the choices in modules and programs offered... It involves self discovery, where does my passion lie? What do i want to do? With it comes the complex problems that follow each choice... Equipped enough for Ministry? Opposition from parents? Money?

Yes, Money is another big issue. Not that i'm short of it. My friend puts it as he rather have to worry about too much than too little of it. At my age he earns 5 digit per month from investment. the idea that i could have been in his position did bothered me. i almost began to think of the endless things that i could do, the financial restrictions that affected ministry, the stress on my dad to support the family... but I thank God that God convicted my heart years ago reminding me of what is truly important. I know now that God has provided exactly what i need. If ever i keep thinking about what if i have that sum of money, i know i'm feeding a lust for money which actually implies that God shortchanged me and what He gave is not enough. WHICH IS NOT TRUE AT ALL. God gave me much more than i can ever imagine. Yea, this also means that next time if ever i'm to choose btw a high-paying physicist job and serving the Lord with much lesser cash, i will choose the latter. Haha, yea that means the girl i marry next time will have to support this stand or else i'll have a big headache...!

Ok fine, i won't ignore this fact. Stepping into 21 would mean preparing myself for a relationship. It is much more than what my member Javier sees. There's much responsibility and maturity required. I wonder if i'm ever ready for one and how i should respond when i enter Uni... Anyway Ben says he's gonna get a gf when he returns. =)

Lifestyle... being a light in sec sch or jc is a lot different in the Uni and workplace.. The "level" is so much higher and demanding. How you respond will reflect how valuable God is in your life. Everyone wants to fit in. I hope to when i enter Uni... But i know clearly of the things/habits/lifestyle that are out of bounds for me.. Then there's the CCAs i should join, the kind of friends i keep...

In the midst of all the problems, I'm really glad i have much guidance. If fact, I have the guide Himself - God. The way He revealed His word to me this period of time, i know He's preparing me to face the future.

There's a question that He kind of placed my head this morn(i dun think i'll use the word inspire though) to ask during this coming sat combined cg,
"The world is changing the bible. The question is 'Are you going to join them or are you going to let the bible change the world?'"

Which side are you standing at?

Standing Up for what you believe in

2007-05-26T23:03:00.000+08:00

One of the things that really caught my attention during the 2-day visit to TJC happened when i was helping out in the chest press station during the log event...

It was Delta house's turn to do that station.. For me, i was helping out to watch the safety aspects of it.. the judging and giving of no-counts was done by the current oac instructors... There was this guy, rather charismatic, wanted to boost the morale of his team by giving an encouraging speech during the rest time. I shall not quote the exact words as i can't remember. It went something like, "come on! this is our last station.. let's give it all we got! shout with me the timing if you can, shout anything you want! vulgarities, anything! No one is here to hear it! the DM is not here! Shout it out!" Then another girl followed "ya i'll bring Mr __ away if he comes!"

A social constraint was broken. It had an impact. When he mentioned about don't care about vulgarities, there was a change in the faces of those around the station. One thing was evident, it was uncommon to say something like that. Even though no one did say anything vulgar in the end cos all the participants were too tired to even talk...

But i was deeply affected... for not commenting on what he said... I actually kept quiet to a declaration against the truth... It was a great chance to be a witness but i took the easy way out by keeping quiet...

"That is not true. I believe that God hears what we say. Our lips are meant to give praise to God and speak words of encouragement to build others up. Praises and curses cannot come out from the same mouth. Try to encourage, it might not bring your team further, but it will strengthen your unity and team spirit."

The words were in my head, i only wish i had the courage to speak as i should... Forgive me O Lord.. how i kept claiming that i won't be silent, yet i am still afraid... May i be able to speak up for You should it happen again...

The Things I Once Did...

2007-05-25T18:51:00.000+08:00

While other jcs like CJC and SRJC are making their students mug for and take their h1 papers before the holidays begin, it was a totally different sight at TJC...

At the field there's tug-of-war.. well basically there's no lesson at all.. everyone get to participate and compete in one sport of another!

This is my fav..life size table soccer! wished to play it again someday.. haha

This is dodgeball.. it was in the tennis court..

(envious? =p well becky, although tjc ppl are really muggish, we do take time to enjoy!)

It's TJC's Sports Carnival and every year the highlight has been about the Temasek Titans.. well because it is organised by OAC =) i went down on thurs and fri morn to help out. kinda missed the feeling of playing like that, enjoying the sport, sound system, classmates cheering and participating...

here are some things that i once did when i was year 1, and organised it in year 2.. can't imagine me inside right? i did a lot of other stuff that i even amaze myself when i look back...

just when u think these guys are mad...girls participated in the competition too! now that's really amazing..

u might think i go back just to watch only. no lor i got help one.. haha! must help do demo for log throw.. it has been a while... the photos make it look very cool though!

this is my first time uploading a video.. hope it works.. note that this log throw is really dangerous (the log is heavier than it looks. catching it is really an experience!)

I've many thoughts and experiences.. shall put it in my next post.. =)

NUS Orientation Package

2007-05-23T16:59:00.000+08:00

Yup... it is here....! I received the mail last night and took my time to read through it in office today.

"Am I excited about Uni?" That was a question I've been asked quite a few times by different individuals. I wasn't at first. But after reading through and started talking about it with my friends, it hard not to be excited.

However besides the excitement, there's also a deep feeling of anxiety over the choices I have to make. At first I thought i was pretty much settled that I cannot stay in the Hostel and participate in Hall Activities as it will take up too much of my time and it might affect the time i have for my ministry in serving my cg. Then there's also which Camps to go to, which CCA to join...

It all boils down to one question - What is it that I really want?

That shall be my basis for my decision making. (Of course in line with the word of God) Do pray that through these activities and experiences, I will be clearer of what I will be doing in future as a career.

Youth Sunday School Resources

2007-05-22T11:43:00.000+08:00

Youth Sunday School Lesson Resources are now available for download if you want to it for reference or if you have missed the lesson.

I have the audio records, the powerpoint slides, and the lesson plans if you want.

Audio Records
Sun Sch 13 May - God in Control (Rom 9).mp3
Sun Sch 20 May - Man is Responsible (Rom 10).mp3

Powerpoints Slides
Rom 9 God in Control.ppt
Rom 10 Man is Responsible.ppt

Lesson Plan
Lesson Plan Rom 9.doc
Lesson Plan Rom 10.doc

*just msg me to send it to you...

Please note this is strictly meant for reference and should not replace your studying of the bible yourself =) Also note that there might be errors in my teaching and I welcome all feedbacks and corrections...

A Relaxing Weekend | Reflections by the Beach

2007-05-21T10:59:00.000+08:00

Decided to just write down whatever that comes to my mind now... a lazy way to blog.. haha

Had an enjoyable weekend doing things i hadn't been doing for quite a while.

- eating at cheese cake cafe (it's my 1st time eating there!)
- stayed at kenneth's house (can't rem when was the last time i had a stayover)
- swimming at jeanna's house (last time i swam? err months? years? -.-)
- slacking and watched movie without care.. (Death note and Death Note 2 back to back!)
- lunch with Relatives to celebrate grandma's bday
- shopping at orchard (i still hardly know the place as well as my friends do)
- cycling to the beach (my bike's chains are covered with rust, tyres completely out of air and had to pump)

the weekend felt different.. and relaxing... wonder if i had been too restrictive of myself and my lifestyle.. nah! these type of thing can only do once in a while.. haha.. and we're going to another activity i haven't done for years:

25th May 2007
8pm Bedok Lutheran Church
We are going overnight cycling! WHOO!~
All are welcomed to join us if your parents allow...

***

It felt great. It really felt like leaving everything behind and just travel to meet God. Cycling along an old unforgettable path on my trustworthy bike, i seek to find my own little retreat. The silent and cool night with its occasional breeze was simply perfect in its own way. I missed that familiar sound of the waves, the rustling of the trees... I sat at my fav spot, part of me wondering why am i here, but i convinced myself i needed it more than anything. I had wanted to come back here since 2 months ago but never found the chance to do so...

Sitting at the breakwater undisturbed by 2 guys at the side fishing, i prayed and then answered the question, "How is my life now?" There were questions i longed for answers, uncertainties i needed assurance, but i told myself that not why i came this time.. it doesn't matter if they remained not addressed, just came to meet God as how He met me when i went there before i was a Christian.

Beyond the uncertainties and questions that has been on my mind recently, i looked back and couldn't help but thank God that i found Him. In Him, i found direction and certainty. There's nothing called meaningless anymore. Neither is there fear of the unknown. The change in my life had been shocking... A changed life now trying to change many others...

There were other things i thought through when i was there of cos.. wisdom is saying the things u need to say, and keeping quiet when you should.. *hint to CX* =p

Leavin the place, i found back my stability, assurance that life is in God's hands. Sovereignty vs Responsibility - Something i taught during Sun Sch yest. How glad to know I'll never have to keep worrying tat i might choose smth out of God's plan.. Yet that's not an excuse for me to make rash or irresponsible decisions...

Treasure Digging

2007-05-17T22:00:00.000+08:00

Haha, do you know what is called treasure to a JC student? (ok me and my friends 3 years ago.. i dare not make a sweeping statement here)

Notes! Valuable concise summarised ones of cos. I finally found time to sort through that huge pile of papers that had been sitting in my cupboard for 3 years. i needed to clear the worksheets and find back valuable notes... especially maths cos i think i lent to Carolyn and she lost it.. not very sure though.. but ya it was 2 years of notes summarised to my own understanding. so now while packin, i'm trying to find if i did left behind any other notes that might be helpful for my bro and all still in jc now...

i was going thru the worksheet and gp pile where i never realised the amount of paper, questions and words and formulas, numbers i've written for that short 2 years... wow! i even found a list of common errors in English, how to write essays and loads of other stuff.. i shall post a small part of it for amusement and learning for everyone! =)

Spelling

irregardless (x) --> regardless
accomodate (x) --> accommodate
arguement (x) --> argument
advertisment (x) --> advertisement
definately (x) --> definitely
enviroment (x) --> environment
goverment (x) --> government
hierachy (x) --> hierarchy
millenium (x) --> millennium
occured (x) --> occurred
potray (x) --> portray
sucessful, succesful (x) --> successful
inspite of (x) --> in spite of

yup that's all for this post.. haha! in case u think i cleared the whole pile of notes.. i only manage to go thru a third of it.. tough work man... zzZ

Listening to God's word

2007-05-16T09:39:00.000+08:00

Before going to bed tonight, I prayed….and the Lord revealed something about my attitude a few hours ago. I was at Dazz’s grandma’s wake and there was a preacher teaching on Psalms 23. I never expect that I would have a problem with pride, but I did.

Recently I had been given a lot of time to not only study the bible but also listen to good preachers. Ever since then, I had been inspired to teach the word of God accurately and clearly in cg and sun sch. The hours of studying, listening, and the bethel series helped a lot in my overall understanding of God’s word and I can quote or refer to a lot more passages now. But slowly I got proud.

I began to choose who I like to listen to. If the preacher is boring, long-winded, not concise, then in my heart I would lose interest and the importance of his message will fall drastically. The preacher at the wake had a weird style of talking, he taught in Chinese (I didn’t mind but I mentioned to prove a point) and he was talking about things that were very basic and that any Christian would know. I’m always glad when preachers explain the text and draw application with reference to the text better than those who talk on topics and hardly refer to the passages at all.

But God humbled me. The thing that I took pride in, He used it to rebuke and remind me – The word of God

1 Cor 2:1 “When I came to you, brothers. I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you to testimony about God.”

And in verse 3-5, “I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on men’s wisdom, but on God’s power”

Paul also wasn’t a influential speaker when he was preaching God’s word. But this is to show how God can choose anyone to speak for Him as how it is written that God used the foolish to shame the wise in 1 Cor 1. It is to remind us that in any sermon, the thing I should be focused on is the word of God, not the preacher. That’s where God’s power is. And I think it might be God’s plan to allow long sermons, because only those who truly seek and thirst after God’s word will listen intently till the end. I still remember last sun when I was telling Ben ‘Hey I’m losing focus already.’ Then after a while when I found back my focus, he whispered to me ‘ I’m losing my concentration too.’ When I look around, I could see many members also restless already.

So then what should my response be? The thirst for His word is really given by Him. I prayed for that each time before I sit down to listen. Then I must open my bible and be ready to examine what he says and at the same time be open to listen to what new things I can learn, and also allow those things that I already know to be a reminder to me again.

I pray that God’s word will always have a high importance in my life and a strong foundation in my walk with God. I pray the same for you too.

Driving alone...

2007-05-12T20:00:00.000+08:00

yay, finally i got a chance to drive alone! ok, maybe it's just a short trip, but it's very different not having dad by the side keep pointing out my mistakes, my mother behind giving her 10cents worth.. and my brother also commenting and suaning me.. lol! yea you get the idea...

it was my first time... quite an experience... because the radio was playing FM933 chinese sentimental songs... then it's at night.. the street lights did a great job in creating the emo feeling with their orangish light... i actually could feel the lightness of the car now that i'm the only one in it... and at that moment, i could understand how my friend felt... the idea of just driving around hearing the sound of the engine.. haha i'm not a car enthu guy but even so i felt the urge to just drive faster, neglecting safety and stuff... now i understand why they need the road signs saying speeding kills... etc... cos it's really easy to be irresponsible....

yup... that's that.. back to work... got a lesson to teach tmr.. then there's soccer after service... and of cos.. there's service.. =)

Spiderman 3

2007-05-11T23:10:00.000+08:00

many told me they didn't like it... i was convinced this time i'm gonna watch it no matter wat... turns out i did have a different opinion of the movie after all!

I really enjoyed the movie, many complained that it was draggy, or too many conversations... but for me i'm thankful they kept the movie the way it was in the previous 2, having a message to bring to the audience, that it's more than just the action and the stunts.

i was reminded of a gp essay my jc teacher showed us during class. it was written by a peer and his essay was one of the best. the question was smth about superheroes still having a place in society today... i can only remember vaguely what was written, but there was a point he made about how superheroes, even though they are fictional, inspire us to strive and fight for what is good, someone we admire as a child and we look up to. Especially in our society today, we need heroes like them to stand up for the weak, uphold good values. etc.. (i wish i had a copy of that essay..) anyway, i am just thankful that spiderman 3 did not compromise in being all action and attractive but to still to the message they promote.

one of the obvious we see immediately was our superhero in his simple life, simple apartment, student, riding a scooter.. not very attractive.. then there's the part where he gave in to the alien suit and allowed his actions to be led by his feelings. how many times i find myself doing that, ending up in things that i regret? and there's also friendship, forgiveness, responsibility. (i like how the grandma puts it, A husband must be willing to put his wife before himself) and the final message about choices. "Our choices determines who we are as a person." and "We always have a choice to do what's right."

In its essence, it is correct. but to bring it a bit further is that our choices bring about consequences and we are to be responsible in our choices... because we will be held accountable at the end of the day.. whether it is our parents, our teachers, our bosses, and above all, God.

Election vs Freewill

2007-05-10T16:57:00.000+08:00

http://www.gty.org/resources.php?section=articles&aid=231301

i was preparing my lesson on romans 9 and i found myself tackling one of the controversies and trying to understand the truth for myself. The excitement and frustration and patience in studying and researching... I had been spending the whole day studying on rom 9.. and i'm still far from grasping the passage clearly... well reality is i will never be finished in studying God's word...

the link above is really a good read... be patient and read... learnt a lot from it.. just need to organise my thoughts now.. memory overload!!

Broadway Beng Returns

2007-05-10T13:37:00.000+08:00

I must say.. I had a great time laughing.. outta control! lolz! guess i overreacted but oh well.. it would have been better if it was so crude...

Most of the things are funny because they reflect accurately the culture I am in. (While i do hear some of the jokes before.. it's just.. nice to laugh at it again... haha..) But this is the culture i was brought up in and is still being promoted today. The pursuit for money, 4D, gambling, the idea of striving.. The question would then be how to be a light in such a pagan culture? it's a truth to face whether i like it or not. coming to know the truth, there are lines to be drawn and practices that i no longer participate in. it is hard to swim against the current... but it's better than swimming with the current to death...

Busy at work but not with work

2007-05-09T09:35:00.000+08:00

I apologise for not continuing with my study tips, haha.. not that i have ran out of tips, just too busy and lazy to blog... Since last week i had been busy at work doing 2 things - Sun Sch Lesson and Sentosa Prog in June... spending fruitful time hehe...

everyone's like celebrating now, becky is declaring to everyone she finish exams.. well.. time to have fun! =D

tonight's my 1st time going to watch a Musical Pantomime. (cpt dada pants says it's not called a play.. but i dun really know the difference haha) Either way, i'm looking forward to enjoy myself tonight.. never spent so much to watch a performance before! lolz.. yup i never went for a concert before.. hehe...

ok.. back to study the passage.. mother's day coming soon.. need to do something special this year... hmm... jubjubee gave some cool ideas though hehe...

April Reflections as Leader of Spy001

2007-05-02T23:01:00.000+08:00

I was reading my members' reflection letters and it just filled me with many thoughts i wish to jot down. On my april's Reflection Letter (RL), i've only mentioned mainly on my personal life. So this is part 2 i guess...

Much has happened in Spy001, a large contrast to my personal life. There's Dazz stepping down, Becky's friend drowned, Aaron had problems, Javier also had problems, Porter was encouraging, Jeanna.. well as usual =p

The storm kind of hit me hard and challenged me to respond correctly. Perhaps it is expected for leaders to stand strong in stormy weather so that the group can pull through. I'm still human and i have no secret formula to pull through difficult times. I found encouragement and motivation from God and His people. And I really want to thank God how I am not discouraged at all but desiring to do much more.

Just as how Paul advised Timothy, i heeded the advice that my ministry in my cell group must be supported on prayer.

First of all, then, I urge that entreaties and prayers, petitions and thanksgivings, be made on behalf of all men, (1 Tim 2:1)

Dependence and reliance on God. I began to pray more often for my members, now even their parents, their unbelieving friends, their exams, etc. By praying, the concern and love for them grew, and i understood how i am only a steward looking after a group that is not mine and i don't have to depend on myself only.

*members, i'm praying everyday for everyone of you. do support each other in prayers too! =D

I must also thank God how He kept me watchful of pride. To be careful not to be boastful of the things that was actually done by God not me. I am only a servant.

My members had been encouraging. I'm the only one who hasn't shared the gospel to my friends yet! I'm planning and trying... please pray!

I really wonder what my members think of me. haha, a slave driver, a person who always kenna suaned.. well... in Spy001, life is never dull!

Peng's Daily Study Tip #7

2007-04-30T14:11:00.000+08:00

Tip #7 - Revise your past test/exam papers

The worse thing you can do is to make the same mistake twice, not learning from your mistakes. Tests and exams help you to be clear of which areas you are better and which areas you need to work on. By ignoring them, you are actually wasting quite a precious resource!

When you revise your past test, it will be much more clearer to you than if you start on another ten-year series question because it will be the 2nd or 3rd time you are reading that question and you are clear of how you couldn't answer and struggled. By looking at the answers, you will also learn how to properly answer them. (Provided that you got copy down the correct answers!) You will realise that you will learn a lot more if you go through your past papers than you just read your notes. Remember to add to your notes what you have learnt from reviewing your past papers. That way you can refer to your mistakes easily and not forget them!

Remember, don't make the same mistake twice. Because it is stupid to do so. This is Peng's Daily Study Tip sponsored by greataps.blogspot.com. Let me know if my study tips have helped you in any way. Tag in my cbox.

Fierce Wind struck fear in me

2007-04-30T13:48:00.000+08:00

11 The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
(1 Kings 19:11-13)

Early this morning at about 3:30am, a fierce wind tore through the my block. It caused me to wake up and try to close the windows. Even with the windows closed, i could hear the howling so clearly and loudly. The trees at the field were really swaying and the rustling of the leaves filled the silence of the night. Then something felt with a loud thud just a few floors below my room. I even went over to my brother's room to close his windows too. I couldn't go back to sleep for a while. The constant howling made me feel so vulnerable even though I'm in the safety of my room. A weird experience. There has never been such a strong wind through my years of living there. And i just felt fearful. Then i realised how powerful God is - how He is in control of everything. I was crying over my inability to accept God's will on certain issues to a point i felt hate towards God's inflexible plan just before i slept that night. I know that God's will is perfect and all, but it was rather hard to be convicted by it. But I guess I'm quite convinced now...

Being on fire listening to God’s word

2007-04-29T19:28:00.000+08:00

It has been a long time since I’ve so enjoyed myself listening to a sermon. Not only was I paying attention throughout the whole sermon, I actually kept copying notes and understood clearly what the Bishop John Tan was teaching! I was teaching Spy001 on how to study the bible the day before and after much consideration, I decided to get them to practice their observation skills on today’s sermon passage. The observation prior to the sermon helped a lot as I was able to identify the verse whenever he explained the text.

The feeling was amazing. It was like how they usually described it - a hunger and a thirst for the richness of God’s word. I was basically copying throughout the sermon and only left out the examples and analogies he gave. I could hardly contain my excitement. I was like wow that’s a good observation… oh that’s the context… so that’s why Jesus repeated the point… Wow there’s so much deeper meaning to it…. And so on…

But I felt kind of weird. A bit discouraged at how come others don’t see it as exciting as I do. At the end of the service, it seemed like I was the only one telling others how clear he taught the passage… Why the deadness? Is it really because God’s word to them is no longer that exciting? Or have the attitude towards sermons became like just another lecture they have to sit through? Or maybe they understood what was taught but didn’t really show it?

Then I felt burdened. Why did God give me that joy in studying His word? Who am I to deserve such a privilege? I mean God can choose to withhold His word from me and I can never understand it. I have learnt in 1 Samuel how the word of God can be absent from the people even though a system has been set up to listen to it. We can have people teaching but God can withhold understanding from us… What does this mean then? I know the joy is not something I can impart for that can only be given by God. But what I can do is that I must teach and apply what I understood.

I belong to Jesus’ flock. I am a sheep of God. I want to listen to His voice and follow Him. Will you listen to His voice and follow Him?

April is ending

2007-04-27T15:36:00.000+08:00

Was i too comfortable with the routine life that i've allowed time to pass without reflecting much? I had been reflecting... Just that when life gets into a routine, time begins to fly...

It is now a month since i've started working as a temp in Lenovo. My March's fast-paced eventful days has turned into a slow crawl! Compared the whole list of things i had to do in March, April was a lot more peaceful. It was rather unexpected because I am working. But within the work itself, God gave me the time i needed to be really rooted to His word. During my free time in office, I've listened to John Macarthur's teachings, studied on Romans passages for Sun Sch, planned lessons and visited blogs. The peaceful environment made it most conducive to study! I thank the Lord for His word how the more i study it, the more I desire to study more and also proclaim its accurate message!

For April, we had the Buddy Race, Easter Sunday. Then i had to teach a lesson on the face of Christ and there were mentoring sessions and that's all. Everyone is also quite focused in studying as the exam period is here.

Yet the Christian life is never too peaceful. There were a few struggles i had to face and overcome. But i thank the Lord for how I never fall outside of His grace - how He is always in control and how I am still being spared from consequences i should face.

This year still holds many exciting things for me. There's going to be the Leaders' Retreat, Sentosa Event, Youth Alpha, Mission Trip Recce to Thailand, Entering Uni life, leading Spy001, leading the youth mission team to Thailand, the Christmas event... So many things the Lord has prepared... By the end of this year I must decide on my future, after being given so much exposure to the various things i could be doing... I cannot live life without planning for that is irresponsible!

Peng's Daily Study Tip #6

2007-04-27T15:16:00.000+08:00

Tip #6 - Make your own notes

This is just my personal practice and advice. Reading notes, textbooks and examples help. But the best way to start revising is to make your own notes. When you make your own notes, your impression of the topic will be a lot more greater than just reading it. You will know exactly what is taught, and you roughly have an idea which parts are more important than others. Should you stumble upon a concept you are unsure or cannot understand what the textbook is saying, ask someone (pref your own teacher) for help. Then once you understand, write it in your notes such that the next time you read, you will understand.

Your own notes will be become very personalised because you would have placed more emphasis on the parts that you find hard to understand. Your notes should be a summary of the textbook not a replicate or it will defeat the purpose of doing it. This will really help on the night before the exam. Instead of reading the textbook again which has too much unnecessary information, you can refer to your summarised notes which you are very familiar with.

Especially for upper sec and JC students, the topics you do will be tested over and over again until your O or A levels. So investing time on the notes will reap a great reward when you revise using it again and again for the next CA or Major Exam.

This is Peng's Daily Study Tip sponsored by greataps.blogspot.com. Please note that Peng's Daily Study Tip will take a break over the weekends and resume on Monday. Happy Studying. Remember to study smart!

Peng's Daily Study Tip #5

2007-04-26T14:05:00.000+08:00

Tip #5 - Serleep!

It is common for almost for all students to sacrifice sleep at the eleventh hour. Burning the midnight oil seems to help to reduce the guilt of not studying as hard the weeks prior to the exam. While the common answer given is that you should have studied a lot earlier, let us admit that we can never study until we feel totally prepared for the exam no matter how much extra hours we put in.

We all know that our bodies and minds are limited. God designed rest to help us recover from our fatigue. A mind without proper rest cannot function and think as well as a rested and clear mind. You might think spending that additional 3 hours into the night will help you cover all the notes you need, but you might end up losing the focus and concentration and might even forget most of the things you read the night before. It has been shown that when you sleep, the things you have learn will be transferred into another part of your brain - aka you will remember better.

Learning to rest when you should is also an opportunity for you to trust God. It challenges you to depend on God rather than on your own strength to score well in the paper. Of course this is in the context that you had been responsible in studying reasonably the weeks prior to the exam.

Remember, sleep early. Have enough time to pray too!

This is Peng's Daily Study Tip sponsored by greataps.blogspot.com. Sleep tight! Don't dream of exams... =)

Peng's Daily Study Tip #4

2007-04-25T09:38:00.000+08:00

Tip #4 - Depending on God

You are a child of God. When God calls you to do something, He will enable you. I am sure by now you are clear that it is God who has divinely called you to be a student. Then be assured that God will give you what u need to study and survive the exams.

But how can He help if you refuse to ask? He don't want you to do your best and then turn to Him as the last option when you can't study finish. He wants you to depend on Him throughout the whole process, acknowledging that you are too lousy to do it by yourself.

Pray as you plan your study schedule. Pray each time before you begin studying as you would when you study the bible. Pray after each study session, giving thanks for the concentration and understanding God gave. Pray before your exam, acknowledging that God (rather than you) is in control of your grade. As you pray more often, you will see how God is so involved in your lives.

Exams are a great way to to deepen your relationship with God. Don't think when exam comes, God must be put aside. God works all things for the good of those who love Him. See this as an opportunity to trust and depend more on God. Remember, pray...

This is Peng's Daily Study Tip sponsored by greataps.blogspot.com. Treasure this close relationship you have with God =)

Peng's Daily Study Tip #3

2007-04-24T09:38:00.000+08:00

Tip #3 - Remove all Distractions

This is as simple as it sounds. Remove everything that distracts you from studying at your studying table. Handphone, wallet, mp3 player, toys, photos, pictures, radio, posters.. Keep only what you need.

Keep also a notebook for you to jot down anything sudden thoughts you rem and don't want to forget to do later. Don't attend to them immediately, write them down and do it after you finish studying.

I strongly do not recommend listening to music while studying. Research shows it reduces the brain's capabilities and its ability to concentrate. If you have problems sitting down and studying for 2 hours, you better start training now! Because you will be sitting down for abt 2 hours in the exam hall without music. Get used to it now.

The benefits of training your concentration goes beyond studying. Have you ever find it common to pray and find your mind wandering off easily and then you realised you were suppose to be praying? Or have you found it impossible to sit down and study the bible without your mind drifting off thinking about something else?

Remember, keep focused by removing distractions. Then you will find your studying time much more fruitful rather than daydreaming away...

This is Peng's Daily Study Tip sponsored by greataps.blogspot.com. Have a great time studying!

Peng's Daily Study Tip #2

2007-04-23T11:14:00.000+08:00

Tip #2 - Know your Battleground!

A good Military commander will make sure he familiarise himself with the ground on which he will fight. He will then know how to make it to his advantage and train on the areas that will benefit his troops.

Similarly, as a student you must know that your battle will be fought on the exam papers. Studying blindly isn't wise. Hence you must know how you will be tested. You must know how many papers are there, how many questions in each question, how much time are you going to spend in each question, what are the questions like, what is the best way to answer them...

Once you know how you will be tested, then when you open your textbooks to study, you are more clear in what you need to memorise, what you need to understand and your hours of studying will be more fruitful.

Remember, studying blindly isn't wise. Read example questions, then find the answers from the textbooks. Practise on how you are going to present your answers too. It doesn't earn you marks if you can't write down what you know!

*This is Peng's Daily Study Tip sponsored by greataps.blogspot.com. Enjoy! =)

Meet the Robinsons

2007-04-22T23:02:00.000+08:00

It is amazing how God works in so fascinating ways! I was searching for an answer and God gave me that answer through a movie! Haha, it's weird but it was something that came to my mind (God's way of telling me things) which prodded me to think much about it...

If you had a chance to see your future, will you work harder for it? That was a casual remark i told Jean Shen while watching the last part of the movie.. then it hit me...

I might not have seen my future, but i do know what it's going to be like... in heaven! God has revealed to us the ending of this story which we are in the middle of - God will triumph! We are going to paradise! I've seen my future in heaven, so in response I am going to put aside things that distracting me from this future, I'm going to put away my disobedience, I am going to trust in God and realise the dream that I've already seen and sure that it will come to pass... (and we all know such confidence in God's truth is given by God Himself)

Hooray for God! =)

Peng's Daily Study Tip #1

2007-04-22T22:12:00.000+08:00

In view of the exam period, i shall have a daily study tip to help all of you.. =)

Tip #1 - Remember your motivation

Identifying your motivation helps you to persevere in your endless mind-hurting, mental draining, braincell killing hours of torture. There will be many points where you will want to give up, put in less work, slack... Your motivation will carry you through until the end of the war!

Your friends studied hard for good grades with motivation to please their parents, to show off, to get satisfaction, to have a bright future, what is your motivation in studying?

If people studied so hard for perishable things, how come you are not studying as hard or even harder, knowing that your reward is eternal and is so much more worth it - and that is doing what is given to you to the best of your ability while depending on God and by doing this it you know that it pleases God... Isn't it worth it to know that God, the one you loved the most, is pleased with you?

God wants us to depend on Him and do our best in anything He has called us to do. As students, you are called to study.

Remember your motivation. This shall be the 1st and most important tip which will bring you through until the end of the war!

This is Peng's Daily Study Tip sponsored by greataps.blogspot.com. Lookout for more tips in the days ahead!

Destructive Rampage!

2007-04-20T10:03:00.000+08:00

This is ridiculous! I've actually spoilt more things this week than i had for the past few months.. (*i'm quite sure of that)

1. My shoes. How did it come out...? maybe i had a tendency to put my feet on the heel and hook it rather than being flat on the ground... then again i strongly feel that it's the lousy quality of the shoe!

2. My poor specs. It's only been 6 months.. And i made it after losing my previous specs into the waters of sentosa when i was swimming... Don't ask how it broke.. i admit.. it was my "act pro" attitude in trying to adjust the frame of my specs

3. My poor mp3!! I left it in my bag as always.. but so happens yest when i took it out, the screen cracked... must be some heavy weight or impact.. I bought this 2 years ago.. just after my A levels...

Sigh... I do hope i don't break anymore things! It's really costly o.o"

Blog template changes

2007-04-18T16:33:00.000+08:00

Haha, i know it isn't much of a change... but it is still a change! i'm improved my blog for easy reading by making the font bigger! found out the verdana font looks ugly if it's too big... the layout change is to accommodate the bigger fonts, and now i have a bigger tagboard! lol... now you don't have to strain your eyes to read my posts...*i tried to make it even bigger.. but any bigger is TOO big.. haha

US campus carnage leaves 33 dead

2007-04-17T15:51:00.000+08:00

I can't believe this... The concidence... Is this really God's way of telling me smth?

Sat I quoted the shooting at Columbine High School, Colorado, in which 15 people were killed, for my lesson...
I acutally posted the question, suppose on monday when u go back to school 2 guys starts to go around shooting ppl.... geez!

Sun I watched a fiction movie of youths gunning policemen for fun....

Now this... the days are also too close... it's only days before the anniversary of the shooting at Columbine on 20 April, 8 years ago...

i'll update this post later... shall spend some time reading through the news articles on channelnewsasia..

Reflections - Buddy Race/ CG Lesson/ New Police Story

2007-04-15T23:08:00.000+08:00

Before going into the new week, i told myself i needed to blog. To keep track of all my struggles, and encouragements i've received living for God... before i start living my life too fast again.. or maybe i already have...

Buddy race was an amazing journey for me. For the organisers, it was the process that impacted a lot more than the event itself. I want to specially thank the Lord how I've got to know Romans, Ranald, Ben, and Gloria much more than i had. The shared experience had deepened that relationship we all share as Christian brothers and sisters which will help us to continue to spur one another in good deeds. I really really want to thank the Lord for that.

For me, i've learnt quite a bit about myself, how i handle situations and my character, but most importantly my confidence in the Lord. There were too many things that the Lord has done. Remembering how we are not worthy of any good thing God gives, remembering how many things we failed to do properly, i'm just really grateful to God...to a point when the incident happened during the race, i was still calm enough to keep everything going, and attended to the matter. To the things that were not within my control, i thank God the matter was not brought up again and that guy didn't call up again...

The lesson on sat was amazing. I started from scratch. But the Lord constantly filled me mind with ideas and bible verses that i ended up trying to sort them out cos there were too many! When i realised how God planned my experiences - the books i read, the sermons i heard, the bible verses that i studied before, i cannot comprehend the perfect plan He always had all these while! It's like to be teaching that lesson at that time was divinely planned!

i thank God that Ben was honest and told me about how i could have improved on that lesson, i also thank the Lord how it was received by the members. The lesson somehow lingered in my mind even after the lesson was taught.. Perhaps it was because i had been thinking about it every moment for the past week that it became a habit, but i actually kept thinking about the things i forgot to say or should have said.. i realised i'm more concerned about how the lesson is done rather than how the members received it. It's like I have this perfect idea of the lesson that if it is not done this way, it wasn't good enough..

then the Lord used what i've taught to hit me.. I'm actually telling God that how good the message delivered was depending on me, not how God convicts them. I must remember i am not worthy to teach and that it is a privilege. That God could have gotten the most boring person to teach and God can still use the bible verses to touch their hearts.. because at the end of the day, it is God's work for God's glory, not my work for my glory...

Yest i had a chance to have lunch with 2 of my relatives and my parents after we went Bishan to "shao mu" or to follow them as they pray to their ancestors. My aunt commented on how it is so rare to find a loving couple as my parents, how after so many years still can find topics to talk and be so close.. She then told me it takes a lot of effort.. i do sense some jealousy but it got me to re-look at them again.. How i've always seen them as Non-Christian parents, yet now i can see the remains of the image of God still in them, showing through the loving acts to each other, and to my brother and I. I remembered teaching my cg that parental love is the purest and closest compared to God's love for us. Perhaps only i understand what it meant to have non-Christian parents showing God's love. They've earned my respect and i only pray that i can be more willing to show my love for them...

Just an hour ago, I watched the "New Police Story" on channel U.. The last time i've watched it was during JC2 with my OAC friends after school.. It was during August, where school ends before 1pm each day and most lessons are revision..Prelims was near haha.. anyway the 4 rich youths who robbed banks and fired rifles like as if they were playing a video game caught me this time.. Unable to find the acceptance from their parents, they also grew a hate for cops and starting killing them for fun...

to an ever-changing world, where moral standards are dropping (i loved to use the word eroded because it so aptly describes it), where as youths we have our basic necessities met, when we are given the option to choose our paths in life, what choice will you make, and what will you use to refer to for guidance?

Before ending this post, i want to put a reminder here to constantly pray for every single member of my cg. It's always about God and how He works..I must trust in His perfect plan..

WhoO~ My blog looks famous =p

2007-04-15T20:26:00.000+08:00

Haha, just some trival stuff... to have a bit of fun..

my blog has a shocking 131 visits with 170 page views...

weird thing is.. it was all congested at one point..

on sat night from 9pm to 12pm i have a average of 10 visits per hour...

at first i was thinking wow ppl visit my blog after my lesson..

then i realised.. maybe it was Chang Xiang not pro enough to get to my website...

Keep on refreshing... then total to 30 plus visit.. =p

Haha i said it was trival! =p

The Face of Christ

2007-04-13T22:22:00.000+08:00

This will be our lesson for tmr... See you there!

Reminiscing

2007-04-12T19:57:00.000+08:00

2004...

Sunday, December 12

Longing for that special person...

I'm 18 so what's new
Loneliness isn't the reason
I just want someone to love
Be patient God said
He will set everything perfect
That special person will be perfect
Trust Him He said
Such wonderful promise
so why worry you ask
But I'm human
In the midst of waiting
I struggle
Infatuation, Longing, Seeking
Holding on to God isn't easy
but that's faith I guess...

***

2005...
Sunday, September 18
My Reflection

*was on my way to go upstairs back to bunk when i pass by the window of this very dark room and it showed a reflection of me and thoughts began pouring out as all of a sudden time seemed to come to a still...

Who is this person in the reflection
In an army uniform, with a kevlar helmet under his right arm
Who is this person in the reflection
Who wore combat boots and had grease stained hands

Wait, this is a boy
whose face is without wrinkles nor does it show any signs of being on this world for decades
Wait, this is a teen
whose life is suppose to be studying and hanging out with friends

Why is this boy asked to fight, made to train
He runs around with rifles and shoot bullets that hurt
Why is this boy trained to fight, trained to kill
He goes around in armoured tanks and fire bombs that cause great destruction

Is this the same boy who I saw last year
The one who was struggling to study, to pass his A levels
The one who struggled to balance his school, social and spiritual life
The one who plays computer games, goes kayaking and enjoys friendship

Who am I, I really wonder
Am i dreaming or is any of this for real?
All the pains and sufferings I've been through
Why do they all seem so clouded in my memory

Who is the boy that I see
Standing there staring back at me.
Is he really... me?

***
2006...
Sunday, January 8
Stepping into 2006

God is so wonderful to me. It has only been 1 week into the new year and things are already changing in ways i wouldn't have thought possible...

1) My brother has accepted Christ. It's been my honour and joy to pray with him the sinner's prayer. My 1st time seeing a person convert too =) Praise God!

2) I'm starting out this year as a cell group leader. And responsiblities are beginning to pile up as I'm now required to help out in sunday school for the upper sec. In order to teach, I make it upon myself that I must be totally understand what I'm going to teach so that it will be according to what God meant it to be. That will take up time. Then, there's also the March CGEO (cell group evangalistic outreach) which we are going to plan. On top of that, I still got bible studies which i want to do personally. There's also the final theory test for driving, which i will have to find time to learn the practicals, not forgetting other committments and outings!

Busy, yes... But from being busy, I'm blessed because it is for the Lord =)

***

2007...

The Recovering Phase

So how much of my life is affected? Almost totally!

1. I can't sleep properly. Even when i toss and turn, it hurts.

2. I can't walk properly. I move around in tortoise speed! If i cross the road i think i will kenna "lang ga" !

3. I can't go mission trip. Can't even go out!

4. I can't sneeze, cough, LAUGH! yes, i can only give very fake laugh. if i really laugh, i'll be like hahaHa... Oww! -_-

5. I get to complete things i left undone. Surf Net, Play Game, bible studies, yes bethel homework!

hope to see u all soon.. =)

***

and beyond! Blogging is great.. i enjoyed remembering how the Lord has guided me through.. how much i had went thru...yet so much more to go!

Be Challenged all over again!

2007-04-12T15:33:00.000+08:00

Ignorance is NOT a bliss...

Refusal is not an option...

The Truth will be before you...

***

Will you dare to face it?

How much do you know about what you believe in?

How sure are you about your faith?

How far will you go to defend it?

Will it stand the test of the blazing flame?

Or is the Cross to heavy to carry?

***

Who are you? A child of God or a wolf among the sheeps? Are you one like us, or of another faith? Who are you? A member of a Christian group or a child being deceived and manipulated by a Cult group to do its bidding?

You will find out more than you ever known. Things that you had kept hidden, questions you had ignored, all shall be exposed...

Sat 14 April... 5:30pm... BLC Music Room... Do you dare to come?

A Destructive Nature

2007-04-09T21:43:00.000+08:00

It gets into you when u get tired, when your mind gives in to all the lies that is fed to it..

just felt sick of disciplining myself, denying of what i want, fighting and fighting to hold on to the truth of God.. even the basic things of spending time with God, not being lazy, just felt weary.. just feel like i want to be unaccountable for once...

i've been getting this feeling from time to time, now my mind is doubting if i'm disciplining myself too much..

no, i've not struggled with sin until the point of shedding blood.. it's hard to stay focused.. i must not believe in the lies, i must stand firm on God's word... i must remember the consequences of my choices.. i must believe... God loves me...

it's really easier said than done... so... God, please help me...

*i'll blog soon.. right now.. just dun wanna burden myself with tasks when i dun feel like doing anything..

Please take from me my life
When I don't have the strength
To give it away to You

Please take form me my life
when I don't have the strength
To give it away to You Jesus...

A Busy Month

2007-04-01T21:20:00.000+08:00

The month of March

1. Recovering from surgery
2. Romans trail
3. MIMBY (Music In My Backyard)
4. Project Serve Graduation
5. SOS (Spy001 Overnight Stay)
6. Calling up contacts
7. Teen Games (4 days soccer at Bishan Park)
8. O-Pey-Soom (2 day Hang Out Place)
9. Planning CG meeting
10. Wed Lent services
11. Baptism Class
12. Bethel Series Final Test (Concepts and 6 essays)
13. Mentoring members/ BCL (Basic Christian Living)
14. Buddy Race planning (Event Overall I/C)
15. Starting on a new job (Working at Lenovo)

31 days in a month. 15 items. And if you are familiar with what I'm talking about, you will know some of the events require more than just attending them...How did i cope? I looked back at this month and i'm simply amazed.. I went through a lot.. And it did change me..There were lots of thoughts, emotions, encouragement and disappointments I had went through. Most of them i wrote it in my reflection letter for this month. but i specially want to acknowledge God and give credit to Him.

I was reading my once close friend's blog, and i compared it with my life. how 2 different perspectives changes everything. for my friend, doing extra work in the army (he's a regular in the army) is called arrow. the word he used for his blog and how he describes his life is SOULLESS. I had lots to do too. but my motivation in doing them, not expecting any rewards, willing to spend time, effort, money, even be emotionally involved, is my clear understanding of the TRUTH ABOUT LIFE. A sad, empty, meaningless, bearing grudges, complaining life placed beside a fruitful, purposeful, joyful life. I can't help but be so affected by it...

Same childhood and experiences --> a different choice at a particular time --> 2 separate lives

how i wish i could do smth. i have not been praying for him. somehow i'm so involved in what i have to do now that there are so many old friends i've lost contact.. i cannot start feeling sad, i cannot start crying.. i need to start praying...

Jesus said, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10)

http://soulless-zombie.blogspot.com/

Finally starting to work..

2007-03-30T20:20:00.000+08:00

Ever since my operation (that's slightly more than a month), I've been spending quite some time at home. Then Project Serve ended. and i stayed at home... i still worked though... Been busy... with Teen Games, O-pey-soom, planning for CG, meeting members for BCL, calling contacts, and after O-pey-soom ended i started to plan for Buddy Race.. I thank God that how He gave me enough time to get Buddy Race's planning mostly done before i found and started work today...

Something i've found out is that i can never find myself free with nothing to do one... It's just not me.. and it's not God's plan for me.. haha! but i agree with what someone from YFC mentioned before, even if u sit and do nothing the whole day, u will feel tired! i grew tired of staying at home and needed to find work to fill my days. and thank God He gave me work..

The job is really quite interesting. I'm not badly paid. I get to meet great friendly people. and the place very welfare one.. haha..shall elaborate another time... =)

Thanksgiving

2007-03-29T08:18:00.000+08:00

Things turned out alright in the end... During the call, I realised the misunderstanding i had regarding the application..

I could say it was just me. As in, I didn't find out properly from NParks regarding the usage and the payment. I could say I've made the situation looked worse than it actually was. And by doing so, i could also say that perhaps God didn't really do any miracle at all. It was simply human fault.. Small matter?

I don't think so. Somehow whenever i see God work, it's so amazing. If you know God, you will know it was He who changed the situation around. But the situation will always turn out such a way that you can choose to discredit God and it sounds humanly logical. I'm not exactly sure how to put this into words. if u don't get it then nvm...

I want to give thanks to God. because i know the situation could have gone the other way, and i could have been trying to change the whole buddy race concept all together. But God continue to sustain our work through His grace, and i want to show my gratefulness by doing my best to plan it well.

Why so downcast, O my soul?

2007-03-28T12:13:00.000+08:00

lately i'm wondering why my mood is so dependent on the situations around me..perhaps is me not taking care of my half-sick body that i have no mood to do things.. just last night i was quite affected by an email.. wondering what will be the outcome of Buddy Race..

This morn.. while just resting in studying God's word, and listening to songs of praise, my mac got this screensaver that randomly display all my old photos. As i look at the pictures of the past 3 years.. i cannot help but thank God.. and i remembered all the times God told me to trust Him and how everything worked out.

Right now, I'm given confidence, that God will make a way. Just that it might not be what i want.. but i know i can trust Him like before.

*Except the Lord builds the house,
they labour in vain that built it..

Why so downcast, O my soul?
Put your hope in God
Put your hope in God...

Bethel Series FINAL EXAM!

2007-03-26T13:29:00.000+08:00

The 'fill in the blanks' section.. can u see how i many i have to memorise?!?

6 essays?! i think i've wrote essays for bible stuides only for bethel series.. maybe we can do it for cg or even sunday school! wahhaha...

it was a whole year of bible study! every sat.. though i admit towards the end it was hard to find time to attend with CG commitments. and it ends with this FINAL EXAM of the NEW Testament! wahaha, i've not used my brain cells to such an extent since A levels! can u believe it.. 6 essays! wahaha,so maybe it's only 50 words per essay. it was fun planning the structure of the essay, remembering bible concepts, and writing.. my finger actually hurt from writing too much.. the last time was A levels!

the exam basically got me to memorise at least the key contents and where they are found of the whole new testament.. benefited? since when studying of God's word is not beneficial. but i'm hoping i will re look at the notes from time to time to refer.. i think i will.. especially when i need to teach so often.. haha! *i'm supposed to have finished reading the whole bible by the end of this bethel series... and the word 'supposed' explains i didn't... =s

IT'S OVER!!! My Sat afternoons are free again!!! whoo~

The Gift of the Spirit

2007-03-26T11:47:00.000+08:00

It all makes sense now!! everything that has happened, everything God enabled me to do, God is amazing!!! haha, i shall not publicly post here yet.. just something God revealed to me about my spiritual gift..

Note to self and whoever who understands, take heed:

11But one and the same Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually just as He wills.

Gifts and talents given by God must be used and used for God, lest He takes it away. ( Parable of the talents)

2If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ( 1 Cor 13 - Love: the preeminent virtue)

The intention behind doing all things must be Love. Love for God, Love for people.

Some updates

2007-03-22T09:56:00.000+08:00

it's more than a week since my last post! i thought i should have more time to blog now that i'm officially jobless, yet i still find myself with tons of work to do. It's God's grace in a way that i am not left to rot at home. for the past few days i actually stayed up till 1am working! haha my work is typing stuff, preparing lesson, sorting out admin stuff for Buddy Race - in case u didn't know, I'm the Overall I/C! heh.. 1st time being ic for such a huge event.. really don't know how it will turn out...But i thank the Lord i have Him to trust

There was Teen Games, O-Pey-Soom, Recce to bedok reservoir, etc.. I shall post a bit on some interesting experiences from Teen Games.

It's really an amazing experience for me. Even though i don't get to play with them, i had the opportunity to go thru the whole journey with them. The experience of winning, losing, frustration, argument, rejoicing, winning...

I especially love this photo, how soccer unites people. The boys were totally absorbed as they stood there together during the penatly shootout which will decide the Champions. All the differences between them were placed aside as they unite with a common purpose - to win.

3 Cheers to the Winners from Geyland Methodist Sec... whoo!~
as the team manager, i didn't contribute to their win la.. just pray the friendship built will eventually lead them to Christ.. that's the GOAL for me =)

Dying to self | Today at Teen Games

2007-03-13T20:38:00.000+08:00

"The redeemed are called to put off the old nature...
Ah, there is the pinch, and whoever ventures to put the shoe on will find it to be painful. For the self does not die easily. its demise will not be accomplished without struggle. Though self-will may agree to die momentarily, in favour of a will higher than its own, its tendency is to tire of its grave. Then it will be found scratching at its casket, pushing back the dirt from its burial ground and springing to life again. Like the animal with its nine lives, it refuses in this world, at least, to stay dead. And when it rears its head in the wrong places and at the wrong times so as to jeopardize the will and purpose which God has for life, then it must be put to death again. Moment by moment, hour by hour, dad by day, the momentous struggle must go on. And every child of the Heavenly Father who takes up the gauntlet can expect to suffer as Christ Himself suffered when He engaged in the same warfar. (1 Peter 4:1-2)"
-quoted from Bethel Series 1 Peter

I'm once again amazed at the way the author described the concept, in this case the struggle of denying oneself. But as nice as it is written, all who are truly a child of God can relate to what has been described above. The beauty of it lies not in the struggle, but through this 'sufferings' we can hold on to the promises of God.. to find out more, study 1 Peter! =)

***

Today was the Under 18 Boys catergory for Teen Games Soccer. I was asked to be Team Manager for a group of 6 who come from salvation army and 2 other are classmates. I had problems finding things to talk about, always finding them either kicking the ball around practising, or helping them find out when is their next match. It occurred to me that even though they were all Christians except 1, i should still go thru the gospel with them. I then realised and understood that God arranged me to be with them for a reason - not only to share with them the gospel, but also to help the Christians in their understanding too and desire for God too.. esp now God helped me to mature in my faith and my understanding and given me the experience of a CG leader, i was placed there for a reason. yet throughout the day, i found myself being afraid and unprepared. not sure how to bring the gospel in, not sure how they would respond. i kind of forgot that it is God's message not mine, thinking of too many unimportant issues where i tried to make talking about God natural. it wont be for non-believers! an important fact i need to rem. i need to trust. and do my homework in preparing.. i shall now prepare for tmr. pray for the Under 15 boys team i'm taking tmr!

Appreciating Sound Teachings

2007-03-12T23:53:00.000+08:00

I felt really affected by a call from my friend that i decide to jot down this experience as a reminder to myself how God had been gracious towards me.

it has been a while since i've thought and talked about how I came to Christ. My jc friend called me to ask me about baptism and we chatted quite a bit. at the end of the long conversation, i felt really affected because i've taken God's teaching for granted..

I see the extend of God's grace when i realised how many dangerous and different teachings have infiltrated the chruch. distortions and mis-interpretations, leading many astray. when i remember how i ended up in BLC, i can only stand silent in awe and gratefulness. I started my journey learning about God from a place where people were devoted and responsible in handling God's word. People who are willing to put in endless effort to plough through the word of God so that what was intended by God was taught. Whether it was S&P, BLC, or Singapore Youth For Christ, the Word of God was handled with care, and i too learnt to do that as i grew in this well-protected .

it then reminded me how i had been taking these teachings for granted.. trying to skip Romans' trail, skip Bethel Series for gatherings, steamboats, or outings.. it also got me to be careful that i as a teacher of God's word also ensure that i handle the word of God with care..

as i prayed for my friend, i gave thanks for what God gave me. i also prayed that others in s&p might also appreciate the teachings and pay attention and reflect on what God is telling us.

The Lord's Prayer

2007-03-12T22:09:00.000+08:00

Matthew 6:9-13
I cannot say "our" if I live only for myself

I cannot say "Father" if I do not endeavor each day to act like his child

I cannot say "who art in heaven" if I am laying up no treasure there

I cannot say "hallowed be thy name" if I am not striving for holiness

I cannot say "thy Kingdom come" if I am not doing all in my power to hasten that wonderful event

I cannot say "thy will be done" if I am disobedient to his Word

I cannot say "on earth as it is in heaven" if I'll not serve Him here and now

I cannot say "give us this day our daily bread" if I am dishonest or seeking things by deception

I cannot say "forgive us our debts" if I harbor a grudge against anyone

I cannot say "lead us not into temptation" if I deliberately place myself in its path

I cannot say "deliver us from evil" if I do not put on the whole armor of God

I cannot say "thine is the Kingdom" if I do not give the King the loyalty due him from a faithful subject

I cannot attribute to him "the power" if I fear what men may do

I cannot ascribe to the "the glory" if I'm seeking honor only for myself,

I cannot say "forever" if the horizon of my life is completely bounded by time

***
The first time i read thru this was during a sermon where pastor showed this to us during one of the sermons. it was very impactful. And today as i took time to read it again. I was affected by it. how many times i've prayed through and yet not really understanding the words I'm praying about.

The above questioned the condition of my heart. Reminding and forcing me to check if my heart is pure before God. I realised the whole prayer is simply against my very human nature. May everytime i pray the Lord's prayer, i really question my heart, and though i may be discouraged by how i have failed to be sincere, i can find strength knowing that it is something i can depend on God for help.

Sanctification... a journey to prepare us to enjoy heaven. (smth i learnt from Bethel Series)

***

This is my 1st post using my newly bought mac, thx to my bro and my dad for going down to the IT show, squeezing with the crowd to get it for me. My bro just bought a guitar too. in case u might think i sound rich, i am not. just that we had been wanting these stuff for quite some time.. then finally came the time!

there has many things been going on. i'm finally recovering, not longer feeling tired easily, able to walk about.... Teen Games has started.. Finding it almost impossible to share the gospel to my soccer team.. still praying and thinkin.. pls pray along with me.. there's O Pey Soom coming up... then there was SOS which they slept over in church instead and even dun wanna tell me! Lol..

The end of term 1.. A break.. and term 2 will begin shortly.. I've graduated from PROJECT SERVE 07! learnt really a lot. wonder if i ever have time to talk about my post- grad feelings and reflections here.. they made a video for us.. for the whole 10weeks.. so many memories.. oh well. life moves on.. that's the joyful part about living for God. =)

Forced to Rest

2007-03-09T16:21:00.000+08:00

The above is what i see from my room. It has been almost 2 weeks since my sudden operation due to appendictis. I have assumed that God had a reason for all these and it will work out somehow... But until someone ask me, what do you think the Lord is telling you from this experience? Honestly, i just blindly trusted but never really thought about it.

Looking back at the 2 weeks of recovery, whether it was binded to obligation or a desire to do something for God, i skipped my rest at home and tried to go CG, go church, go back to work.. That impatience landed me into much tiredness and difficulty and i wonder if it affected my recovery. it's God's way of putting me back at home to rest when i had unexplained stomach cramps, now wondering if it's due to surgery or just common stomachache. My pastor actually called me, besides telling me that baptism class for that day was cancelled, she emphasised and insisted i stayed at home to give myself more time to rest and not move about unneccessarily. Literally Forced to Rest.

While at home, i have this unfamiliar situation where time is somewhat abundant. It is amazing how everything out in the world continues to move while i can be apart from it. But even at home, my sinful nature is still felt. it was a big struggle to use the time given wisely when i can finally enjoy doing most of the things i never had time to do. but beyond all these, i had a lot of time to think and pray. Life slowed down for me, then i realised how i had moving so fast and forgetting to catch a breather. (not that moving fast is bad..i mean slacking around all day isn't showing faithfulness to what is given to me by the great Lord)

I like to look out the window.. While enjoying this short rest, i really look forward to the eternal one when i see God..but for now, i really look forward to be able to have a healthy recovered body again so that i'm not limited to do physical work for God =)

yet God is still good...

2007-03-05T13:50:00.000+08:00

i realised if i leave the previous post like that, i'll be potraying living for God as very miserable. i was discouraged because my heart was not right, and i've forgotten some truths about God...

The Lord showed me 1 very important thing - I am nothing without Him.
I can be generally very fit and healthy, but the Lord can take that away.
I could have learned a lot and became better at teaching God's word, but the Lord can take away understanding.
I could be very good at sharing the gospel and tackling hard questions, but the Lord can remove that chance from me.

Does it mean that if i pray, if i prepare well, I deserved to be rewarded? No... I can toil and work very hard, but "Unless the Lord builds the house, they labour but in vain."

if i remember the truth, then i should remember my unworthiness. that no matter what i did or who i've become, I'm still a sinner deserving to be condemned. so if anything that is good that i've received, it is a gift from God given even though i'm undeserving. That's Grace.

At the end of the day what matters is the heart. It's more than just blindly trusting that God has a reason for all these and "ok just trust God's will. nothing i can do." That's what Romans meant when he talked about working through the personal relationship with God. so if God brought me through that, He must have wanted me to learn something about Him and something about myself. And i did.

Day of Discouragment & Disappointment

2007-03-05T12:47:00.000+08:00

Saturday 3rd March 07
2255h

Today is a day I've experienced a mixture of negative feeligns and emotions as discouraging events followed one after another.

Perhaps it was the result of how I entered the day, not being clear if I'm leaving my house because of obligation or love for God and the people I'm going to meet. I neglected it and assumed my heart was right until when i found myself breathless simply walking from MRT to EH. I had the speed and stamina of a 70-year old and i had to bear the stress felt on my chest due to the breathlessness. In the midst of finding humility to accept the loss of my fitness and health, the thought of 'I should be resting' kept pestering me throughout the day. Hence i end up questioning myself "Why am i doing this?"

It is God's sovereign plan that through Romans' Trail, the application i drew out for myself was being mindful of doing things without understanding - in my case, doing thing without the right understanding/ intention/ or the right heart. Was it obligation?

That was only the beginning. We went Romans' place where i did a few activities and consolidated on the understanding of faith. I do not know if anyone understood what i taught but i felt i was unorganised, unclear, and i could have done better.

Then Romans brought up an idea I never thought of before. The idea of working through my personal relationship with God in various aspects of my character, looking deeper then just trust and obedience. He also mentioned about faith being not perodical but rather a consistent and growing one. I was sharp this time to catch myself thinking "I'm not like that" but to examine "Am i like that?" I realised how i seemed to be more concerned about faith only when I'm being tested during tough times. During 'peace' time, as long as I'm doing "what's expected of me" I should be fine. Am i like that? I need to spend time observing myself. Giving a yes or no too quickly is not going to help me.

I had some time to think as i walked from Romans house to the MRT. I was confronted yet with another discouraging issue. My Dad is trying to get 'his side' relatives to have a gathering. By not going, I'll be not supportive, resulting in disapponting him, and it's bad witnessing. I'll make it difficult for my dad because he tried very hard to get his brothers and sisters to gather and here his son didn't go. My bro was involved in MIMBY logistics. And why i can't go is cos i had 2 frenz coming for MIMBY. After actually persuading and finally getting them to come, i just couldn't not go. But here while walking to the mrt, the weariness and "i shld be at home" came again... Is it obligation?

Upon reaching church after much difficulty, another discouragment came. It rained. I was already discouraged to hear that Jean Shen lost his voice and God just had to send rain when everything was set up. It's my character that i can't just sit back and not help but God made it such that i was to sit and pray, only finding that praying isn't my 1st and usual response. The rain drowned my morale and i worried if my friends would turn up. By God's grace they came, even a contact from the neighbouring block came.

The rain caused the program to be delayed, the room wasn't set up yet. It somehow affected me, worried how will my friends think. Turns out the atmosphere was better in Music Room. Then came my last discouraging event for the day... (i'll exclude the fact that my comp was spoilt again. it's like after the whole day, i was like wadever...)

Being trained in SYFC, having shared to people on the streets, field work, Garage, I thought i was prepared. I even thought of what possible links i could use, and another way to approach e gospel. But because of my complacency, i did not check with SPI how they intended the sharing to be done. I was quite passive since both of my friends enjoyed playing Zeus the card game. By the time i found out that there isn't a direct and upfront sharing by the MC, it was too late. I attempted to use the booklet and tried to direct them. Upon reaching the end where it says "would you like to have someone who is willing to die for you", Ranald's voice came in and then the closing songs. I tried to find chance, after that i managed to bring the qn back and even started talking about a relationship with a Creator. Then Charis interrupted asking if anyone want to packet food home. After she left, both of them stood up and was ready to leave. (not blaming Charis in any way. That will be irresponsible and immature of me.)

But there was a truth i needed to accept. I did not share to my friends i tried so hard to invite. This is my 1st time. Years back even when I'm still unsure how to share, i still managed. How come I couldn't?

The Lord brought me through a lot and taught me. He showed His sovereignty, grace and love throughout the day and i did not forget them. Yet for the purpose and focus on this post, i've omitted them.

Take some time to read this =)

2007-03-01T18:23:00.000+08:00

The Power of Presence in Prayer
Take time to settle your mind as you meet the Holy One.
by Trevor Lee

As a child I had the privilege of spending a month on the farm with my grandparents each summer. I learned to drive a tractor, feed chickens, and herd cattle, but the most important lesson I learned came before dinner each evening. As we assembled around the table, I dreaded the pre-meal prayer. My grandpa sat at the head of the table, and once everyone was seated he bowed his head and began to pray. When my grandpa prayed you knew you were going to be there for a while. He launched into what seemed like a one-hour prayer before every meal, and I would sit at the other end of the big kitchen table thinking, "I want mashed potatoes."

All that changed one day shortly before my grandpa's death. He began to pray as he had so many times before, but this time I wasn't thinking about the potatoes; I was focusing on his prayer. He prayed for his family as though our well being depended on his prayer. He prayed for the kingdom of God like it was the most important thing in the world. And as he prayed he began to weep. It wasn't the first time he had cried while he was praying, and in the past I always thought it was a little strange. I don't know if it was the maturity that comes with being 12 or the Holy Spirit making me pay attention, but this time it grabbed my attention and I was moved—I wanted to start crying too. I understood that he was weeping because he cared about his petitions with a depth I couldn't fully fathom. His prayer was passionate and meaningful. His mind and his heart were fully engaged as he cried out to his Father.

Prayer should be a moving experience. It is entering the presence of the Creator. The image bearers uniting with the One whose image they bear. The broken feeling—the touch of the Healer. Entering the presence of the God who defies our explanation and cannot be contained should never be a boring experience. Yet it often leaves us uninspired. Why?

The answer to that question starts with a study recently conducted by researchers from the University of Pittsburgh and the University of British Colombia. They joined forces to study reading comprehension—with incredible results. According to the researchers, "The readers who zoned out most tended to do the worst on tests of reading comprehension — a significant, if not surprising, result." Really?

As trite as the findings of this study are, they are profound for our prayer lives. We are left uninspired and wanting because we are not completely present with God when we pray. We thank God for the food we're about to consume, but our thoughts regress to the meeting we had that afternoon. We ask God to protect our kids while we ponder how to survive until the next paycheck. We sit down to listen to God and our mind wanders uncontrollably. We lack the ability or discipline to be truly present with God in prayer. Our culture has trained our minds to wander.

One way it has done that is by demanding that we multitask. Not multitasking is seen as wasting time. Our lives are so busy that to do one thing at a time just isn't efficient. I recently noticed a bumper sticker on the car in front of me that said, "Put the phone down and drive!" But we don't have time to put down our phones, the food we grabbed at the drive-thru, the makeup, or even the paper. We have to maximize every moment by multi-tasking as many things as possible. The problem with multitasking is that it trains the mind to jump from task to task. As we work on one thing, our mind runs to other things that need to be accomplished. So we quit our original task to give attention to the task that just popped into our head, and this process repeats itself.

This translates into a horrible habit of being in the presence of people without being fully present. I often meet people at a bagel shop close to our church. As you approach the front of the line to order, there is a plain white sign taped to the counter that says, "Please get off your cell phone before ordering." They're asking people to give them the courtesy of being fully present for 30 seconds while ordering. Being present with others is a basic human courtesy, even if our culture has overstimulated us into forgetting that.

When we don't give people our full attention, we can't truly engage them. We cannot see the pain or joy in their eyes, hear the tremble in their voice, or even remember what they said. Presence is essential in relationships, not just with other people, but with God. If we want to hear him, to be moved by the weight of our petitions, or to be awed by the privilege we have of approaching our Father, we have to be there—heart, mind, and soul.

There is no shortcut to being fully present in prayer; it is a discipline. As we begin to pray and our mind wanders, we must force ourselves to come back. One method I have found helpful is to choose a single phrase that can draw my mind back to God. Something like, "In everything your attitude should be like that of Christ Jesus," or "God is merciful." Then when my mind tries to distract me from being in the presence of God, I have something I can use to coax it back.
Training our mind to focus and stay present with God is a process; it takes time and perseverance. But it is time well spent. My grandpa approached all prayer as more than a formality. He often wept because he was completely present. Being fully present in prayer increases the depth and joy of our prayer lives and allows us to enter the presence of God with awe and excitement.

The Recovering Phase

2007-03-01T16:42:00.000+08:00

So how much of my life is affected? Almost totally!

1. I can't sleep properly. Even when i toss and turn, it hurts.

2. I can't walk properly. I move around in tortoise speed! If i cross the road i think i will kenna "lang ga" !

3. I can't go mission trip. Can't even go out!

4. I can't sneeze, cough, LAUGH! yes, i can only give very fake laugh. if i really laugh, i'll be like hahaHa... Oww! -_-

5. I get to complete things i left undone. Surf Net, Play Game, bible studies, yes bethel homework!

hope to see u all soon.. =)

An Unexpected Operation

2007-02-28T19:12:00.000+08:00

it's abt time i continued blogging.. sorry too lazy to blog for e past few days even though suppose to be quite free..

During e hospital visitation, Gwenda told me abt how she once had so many things to do but the Lord arranged it such that she had chicken pox and she couldn't do anything. Little have I also expected that I would have to go for an appendix operation. I mean it was like another week, final preparations for the mission trip,i/c for CNY visitation, Sun Sch tutorial...

I shall roughly give a rough account of what happened... quite an experience actually =)
I started feeling pain on thurs (22nd Feb) in the afternoon after the BBQ with the Chai Chee students. I thought it was smth wrong i ate. I felt uncomfortable during that evening as i went to church for Baptism class. But it was rather minor so i thought it was some gastric. Friday morn i still felt that pain. But it was totally alright when i played basketball with SAM ppl. (it's part of our morn exercise =p ) This particular session was longer and i actually pushed myself quite a bit. (nope it was definitely not due to this i got appendictis) then i stayed for Romans trail. I was intending to go Dazzlyn's house for the steamboat gathering but had a headache and the stomach pain grew worse. I went straight home only to find i didn't bring my keys. My parents were out and my bro still at Dazz's house. It was the Lord's way to get me to spend time with Him. I put down my bag, bearing that pain to the playground downstairs. The pain went away as i enjoyed the peace...

Sat morn the pain didn't go away so i went to the polyclinic (thank God it's only downstairs!). After queuing for a hour plus, the doctor told me she suspected it to be appendicitis. This wasn't exactly the first time that someone suspected it (a few years ago i travelled to KK hospital to check but found it to be not and totally wasted time and money!) and i was very doubtful as i had similar stomach cramps in Thailand Mission Trip last year. But the doctor insisted that i go Changi Hospital for check-up. So my dad drove me there. By then was about 10am. I went straight to A&E... and waited... The doctor checked, said he suspected it too, and asked me to be warded... There was blood and urine test... But i never knew the results. So that's how at 12 plus i find myself at the hospital ward, when 1pm i was suppose to be at church for CNY visitation. There i stayed.. Then another doctor came and checked.. and he like very pro and dao one.. he like confirm! haha.. wadever.. And the doctor told me no food and drink until the operation.. I thought ok lor, anything..I can remember my last meal timing after being asked so many times. 9am! They connected me to this drip and expect me to survive on it..horrible.. horrible.. horrible..! i felt hungry, thirsty, yet can't do anything! Sleep lor...

Then ard 8pm the nurses came and i changed into the operation attire.. This is the most cool part.. (even though i'm like finally pls, i want to eat and drink soon) I was pushed around and everywhere seemed very quiet.. well it's sat night after all. Then i entered the operation area. and i transferred to another bed. asked a few questions and off i went to the operating theatre.. wah there really got the Sci-Fi feeling.. especially my view is limited to the ceiling and the big operating lights.. then really feels weird to see all the heads while lying down.. A few procedures as the doc told me what will happen.. i tell u i dun remember falling asleep. then the next thing i know was waking up feeling very nightmarish!

It was the worst feeling i had in life. The pain from my abdomen could be felt, there's how i realise the op was over. I couldn't move about because of this pain.. so it took quite a while before i realise where i am - the place before i was pushed into operation. It was nightmarish cos i felt like fainting. the feeling of being very very weak like not eating breakfast and going for an intense run. I was groaning.. audibly! throughout the stay at the hospital i tried my best to make the job of the doctors and nurses easy, after all i know it is not easy. but at that point, it was just too horrible. i asked the nurse to water my lips, hoping that it will make be feel better, but ya.. it didn;t.. at that point i'm very sure i didn't pray. wasn't thinking clearly at all.

then after being approved, i was sent back to my ward. it was just before midnight. There i called my parents and told them. after the operation i could talk, it was pain, but the weak feeling was the main thing affecting me. then i replied a few sms, and slept.

throughout the night i wanted to get better, so i drank water whenever thirsty (thank God i dun need to be on drip after that!!) but then halfway through the night, i felt very nausea. Remember how i tell everyone it hurts when i laugh cos i have to use my abdominal muscles, it hurted HORRIBLY when i vomitted all the water i drank. wah after that i gave up on water and just sleep..

after that nothing much.. i'm against the stuff they gave me to eat! Breakfast - a cup of milo. Lunch - A bowl of Soup. Dinner - Porridge. Wah, where to get the energy i need?!? anyway, ya thanks to S&P for visiting me =) makes the stay on sunday more fun..

Lookin back, i can only thank God how He ensured a smooth operation and a speedy recovery, lessen the pain ( i just know that it could have been a lot more worse). Without God's help, i wouldn't have been discharged so soon.

This is just only the beginning.. Next i shall post about how my life has been affected!

398th Post - Taking Time To Look Back

2007-02-19T22:34:00.000+08:00

Information on blog greataps.blogspot.com:

total posts: 398

Date of 1st post: 4th July 2004

Average visits per week :70+ ( it's seems to be more recently)

Initial Name of Blog: Journey to Perfection

Purpose of Blog:
"Initially, I turned down the idea of having a Blog immediately especially with the limitations of what I can type and I've already got my own written diary. I guess the change of mind comes from the desire to have something to reflect my thoughts to others, hopefully be a living testimony for God, for others to comment, to help and if possible to learn from how I live my life. The name "Journey to Perfection" is a rough idea of what this blog is - my daily life,thoughts and struggles of following Christ, pursuing for the ultimate goal that God has for us at the end of this journey. This Blog will be more of a reflective page rather than something that records only events. " (quoted from 1st post dated 4th july)

Just something i gathered and felt like doing. It's been a while, and after almost 2 1/2 years, my blog has quite an interesting archive to look at. I thank the Lord that by blogging, I've learnt to be more clear of my thoughts, honest with my reflections, able to evaluate and listen to God as I write. It's amazing how God always gives me solutions while i'm posting my problems, questions or doubts. I also thank God that throughout these 2 years, i got people tell me they've been encouraged by what i write. I do hope my blog points whoever's reading to God as i share with you my struggles living for God.

For those who have been encouraged, i urge you to also reflect critically and share ur walk with the Lord with others that they too may be encouraged. That can come in others forms besides blogging like letters, emails, or even sharing during cell groups with your friends and leaders.

For those who do not believe in God - I hope the 398 posts over the 2 and a half years gives enough evidence to show how God's been real in my life, how i've depended on Him, how He never failed me. I can't think of something as concrete as it. Who in the right mind will hold on an illusion for so long, be able to trust in something that might not be there, esp through the 2 difficult years in NS. I think the question for u should be: now you do know there is such a God, are you going to spend the rest of your life as a outsider looking at how joyful and fruitful a Christian living with God is and never want it for yourself?

It's been an interesting journey.. these 2 1/2 years. I found many interesting posts that i wrote 2 years ago.. some i really felt like deleting as they dun represent me now (*of cos i shall not as this is why they are priceless), some i'm really amazed at how i can write so chim and deep.

*i shall not purposely wait till my 400th post before i post this.. because like that really no point! haha..

Mixed Feelings...

2007-02-18T00:21:00.000+08:00

God created us to experience a whole range of emotions and feelings.. These few days I've experienced and struggled with a few different feelings.. Even now, though CNY has just begun, i'm feeling quite affected... after reading my friend's blog...

(The last few days had been rather busy, and i chose to spend my time playing Kingdom Hearts 2 which i borrowed from a friend. So i did not take time to blog and reflect..)

As i was reading my friend's blog, many thoughts were running through my head. I felt his experience. I felt his remorse, confusion, lost, lack of joy, hope, postivity towards life. A friend i grew up with, and experienced primary, secondary, jc, even the 1st few months of NS. Our characters were quite different but yet we had very similar experiences until we parted after BMT. Now he seemed so far, he likes a stranger to me. In the description of his life, i was greatly affected. Not just because I can feel the lack of meaning that he seeks in his life, but the question why God had chose me and not him...?

Not that i really question this, but that it's really worth examining. I mean i would be more or less like him. As lost and as confused, given my hunger for purpose in my sec sch days. My heart was as hard too and it was God who changed that. When i thought of that, i really felt what it means to be grateful. It's really not because of what i've done that God chose me. It causes me to be really grateful because God did not let me remain lost and confused for very long but God shed some light when i was wandering.

God chose me at that point in time so that i can be used to tell others about Him. I see God's purpose in this perfect timing. I was allowed to see His glory as He used me to encourage, lead, teach, and comfort His people, even leading others to Him. This i can only respond in thankfulness. yet, it doesn't end here. Because i see the desperate-ness, I cannot do nothing! Lord, have mercy, may you soften my friend's heart that he might one day see You as I've did.

Spy 001 Outing - Bowling / Shoppin / Cookin / Movie!

2007-02-11T22:24:00.000+08:00

haha, let the photos do the talking! =)

Driving Test/ Chai Chee High Ropes/ Garage

2007-02-11T21:11:00.000+08:00

Yup, this shall be another combined post. shows that i'm really busy! haha..

I had my driving test last thursday. 8th Feb. I really could feel the stress building up as the date drew nearer over the past month. As i turned to God, instead of praying that I'll pass, God wanted me to pray that if I'm a safe driver then let me pass, but if i'm a dangerous one then it's best that i fail. God helped me to see beyond the possible inconvience of having to take the test again if i fail, the extra costs i'll have to waste, etc, and to simply trust in His divine plan. Until 1 hour before the test, i continued to pray and i saw beyond the test that's before me...

I always knew i should try to find ways to share to my driving instructor. but each time, i'm so worried being focused on my driving, i couldn't even carry out a proper conversation with him. (i'm very bad at multi-tasking) but i had this half hour break before my test, and i found myself eating at the canteen of the driving center with my instructor. After cracking my head, i found the 'spark' question," so your daughter attends Bedok Lutheran Church?" Then i found out he went through Alpha course. But i'm more convinced how a heart is hardened because of pride, knowledge of the world, forming a fixed mindset that is almost impossible to introduce a new concept. He said he's a very science guy. I patiently listened. To him perhaps i seemed to be listening as if it's the 1st time i hear about such an argument of science proving against God. within me many things were happening. I was praying. My ears were listening. The answers and rebutts to his questions and opinions darted across my mind but i knew i had to reply in wisdom and not pour out everything i knew. i also needed to contain my excitment and not to be too carried away. Half an hour ended very fast, i merely added my 5 cents worth, giving simple examples of intelligent design and my understanding of creation and life... then i went into the waiting room...

again, while i had to deal with my nerves, the waiting room was too quiet for comfort. so i intro-ed myself to the guy beside me. He's in NS. '87 batch. 1 year younger than me. we talked. about army, the test, etc. this time it was different. i didn't hesitate nor think twice. when it seemed natural, i shared my confidence in God. i mean if God is indeed the main part of my life, i'll take great effort not to include Him in my conversation at all! though i didn't share nor took down his contact, i felt that i've grown in my confidence to talk to people and talk openly about my faith.
The test? Well by now almost everyone knew i passed. To tell you the truth. the test really felt like a dream. it happened very fast. one obstacle after another i executed without major mistakes, and within mintues i found myself driving on the road. and then i was back. and i passed!~ The rest of the day is telling others how God helped me pass.

***

Chai Chee Sch Prog

I shall not talk too much. The photos speak for themselves. enjoy! This is work for me =) cool eh?

***

Garage 9th Feb (fri)

i always loved to attend things like this. it's like seeing ur friends perform. and realising that their performance are simply wonderful. being able to be part of the preparation even though i can't perform. and of all things, able to share the gospel.

i thank the Lord that i was assigned to a table and able to share and even discuss about the gospel with a Christian and his non-christian friend... after my experience in sharing to people of my age, i'm convinced that the world has it's way cause our hearts to harden. indeed our salvation, how we see the light of God is not by reasoning, but by faith.

Soccer Outreach/ Rockclimbing/ Meeting Friends

2007-02-05T21:34:00.000+08:00

Another combined post that is delayed haha.. The Lord is doing great things in my life. It is only right for me to tell you all about it!

2 Feb (Fri) - Soccer Outreach

We went to neighbourhood street soccer courts with a soccer ball.. in order to find sec sch ppl to play with. This is how SAM project servants do contact work. Cool eh? On friday we (me, Hong Rui, Lionel) met a group of p6 Geyland Meth Pri Sch students playing at the void deck. Was hoping to find sec 2 or 3 students but convinced that the Lord placed them in our path. We played with them. Quite weird for a 19, 21, 40 year old guys playing with 12 year old boys. Thank God we managed to build some rapport. The Lord was convincing me that p6 boys are a lot more willing to listen to the gospel than JC1 ppl. My mind was convinced I need not find a reason to share. After some struggle and being sure that i just need to take that step of faith, I took out the bridge to life. Talked to one of them whom i've build some rapport with and began by telling him, "hey i've something to share with you..." After the whole gospel is being shared, I realised i could have done something better. I should not have ignored when there's no clear response to the gospel, be it accept of reject. I guess it's part of my nature to 'try not to offend and hence don't be so hostile in forcing him to make a decision'. I can give the excuse but i know i'm not very responsible in doing so. I praise God nevertheless, that towards the end of the gospel sharing, the other 3 guys also crowd around me, did not say anything offensive but kept relatively quiet. Only until the end, they were like 'ok can we go play now?' Praise God i manage to get his bro's contact. His bro is sec 2 and according to him, he loves soccer which i can invite for Teen Games! YAY!

I think by God's grace, I'm more sensitive and able to identify the still small voice of the Lord that speaks to me in situations. By checking it with what i know from the bible about God and His character, i had been able to discern. But my prayer and concern would be how i would respond to it. I pray i will obey through trusting Him!

3 Feb - Rock Climbing

I was scolded by p5 students for being childish! That's it. Next time i'll just stick to being professional when doing the equipment brief! =p

the p5 we had on saturday was very naughty and restless boys. Their short attention span was rather expected from the 1st impression when they arrive. However, i was very affected by their lack of resilience. Initially, i thought most youths when being challenged to go beyond their limits will do so. I was grealy discouraged by the boys when they can talk about how they want to try, but when they only climbed less than 3 metres (just above human height) they cried and begged me to let them down. I asked myself, is this really the kind of youths today? So easily giving up! Perhaps it's how i grew up in St John's and OAC, that i despised people who give up easily, considering them weak. But i know now acknowledging that I am a sinner, understanding God's view on people, I know i was wrong to think like that and i must change my perception. I should be trying my best to help instead of judging!

CG rockclimbing - Nothing much to say. cos the blog picture says quite a lot =) it was fun! though i was very affected and drained by the p5 boys that when it was my cg time to climb, i was rather out of energy! Sorry ppl if it wasn't as fun as it should..

Talking to Old Friends
The Lord has been really kind for me to meet so many of my old friends in interesting ways too. I met my OAC friends for dinner at Vivocity, Thai Express. It was a super belated bday celebration for a friend's bday which was last nov! haha we are just late and busy ppl. Catching up with them is really great. I've invited them for garage. Hope they will come

11/03
Timothy - Through the Lord prompting, I made contact with Tim (haven't talked since ages!) and proposed a evangelistic class outing. hoping to rally the Christians in our class and that we can all share together. So far the proposed date is 24th Mar. Hoping for good response from the rest.

Denis - He shared with me his struggles being a leader in his Cell Group ministry of 20+ young adults. How being the only one and no one else wants to set aside time to serve. I can never understand nor picture how i would cope in such a situation. He really encouraged me though i pray that i could give some helpful advice. To all reading this, please pray for Denis. That the Lord will raise more leaders to help him in this ministry. Pray that the Lord will grant him strenght, the much required wisdom, and the perseverance through this difficult time. Pray the God will give him joy as he serve Him.

Charlene - It's encouraging when after so long, a person thru msn says hey i just read ur blog. it is still as encouraging as before (she refered to 2 years ago when i just became a Christian). I replied,"well, the God i know doesn't change." (and honestly i'm quite impressed by my own answer!) Indeed, i'm sure this blog won't change in another 2 years time. Because it speaks of the Lord i know that has and is impacting my life so much. pray that my posts will continue to be a blessing and encouragment to many!
Charlene shared with me that she is serving as a leader for sec 1 girls, and also playing keyboard for service. can't rem what's e last thing. oops!
It's amazing to hear from old friends, even though we are apart, all still serving the same God, with the same passion. God is really sovereign! Pray for her too. Wisdom and a never-ending desire to seek and love God always.

Another friend (I'm sorry, i very paiseh if i can't spell ur name correctly!) When i met her at EH, i was like Hey! what are u doing here! I don't really know her personally as a friend. Just know that she is from AHS Girl Guides, then TJC rock climbing. She actually joined project serve 2 years ago. We met during the Romans trail on fri night. Haha, really so amazing and so encouraging to meet old friends this way! didn't have much time to catch up with her. but ya, wherever she is now, pray that the Lord will continue to be her guide.

ok. end of another long post. I shall try to blog more often!

I've Found My Answer

2007-01-30T22:51:00.000+08:00

*Taken from Jean Shen's Reflection Letter*

“Ministry takes place when divine resources meet human needs through loving channels to the glory of God.”

This was a very timely reminder from God to me. There are a few things that I struggle with in ministry. Firstly, I’m always trying to measure up to what other people are doing, or what they expect of me. It becomes very tiring when I am constantly stressed by wanting to meet expectations and wanting to do excellent work. The result is fear and even sin, for example jealousy or bitterness. God reminded me that I am doing His work, and He provides the instructions, the abilities and skills, the passion and enthusiasm, as well as results and success. We are meant to be distributors, not manufacturers. Time and time again I look to something other than Jesus Christ, and start to fall into the water, but Jesus grabs me and lifts me back on the water.

The other thing that struck me was doing things for God’s glory. It is very encouraging to get fruit from your labor. However, I find myself sometimes desiring fruit so as to make myself feel accomplished. The converse then becomes true: I will get discouraged when I see no fruit. I’m glad that God is reminding me to seek His glory and be zealous for His name, so that when I see no fruit, I wait patiently for God to move, and when there is fruit, to God be the Glory! When I realized that even if there is fruit, I get no credit, the truth then sets me free to work more for God and not to be worried. It sets me free to serve Him simply because it would bring Him delight.

***

To reflect that into actions. I need to be reminded of who God is. Stop dwelling on my problems, stop looking beyond unnecessary stuff and focus on God.

God begins the work, God brings through the work, God should receive all credit.
I'm merely a distributor that needs to be faithful and obedient!

Basketball & Soccer. Success, Failure, Stressed

2007-01-30T21:14:00.000+08:00

Yesterday we were suppose to have games as leisure during the evening so we went to the CC near EH to play basketball. We initially played with ourselves. Then a group of guys came and invited us to join them. I was reluctant because I felt that I'm so gonna get trashed. Eric and Lionel (our supervisors) accepted to play so we played 4 on 4 with them. By God's grace it wasn't that bad because Eric and Hong Rui could play quite well. I kept ministry in mind and just tried my best instead of doing it grudgingly. After 1 match, we were no longer strangers to them and we could simply go up to them and talk, getting contacts and inviting them for events. Then came another group and this time they were super pro. Some of them were rather hostile because they knew we came from a Christian organisation but basketball won one guy over as he was friendly towards us and talked to us. It was an amazing experience. And indeed it takes quite a lot from me to deny myself. To remember the heart of the ministry so that i give up my preferences, even if it means i felt like playing floorball instead of basketball at that time. *must remember to pray. both for ourselves and them.

Today was soccer coaching at Geylang Methodist Sec for me after a request to not go to SAJC where i can't really do much. This time i get to help out and participate in their training and got to be-friend with a few of the sec 1 and 2 guys. There was quite a few instances of bad sport displayed by the boys. One was when Eric (coach) was punishing a guy and getting him to run from fence to fence. He ran reluctantly and when Eric turned away he pointed both his middle fingers at him. i''m not sure if it was just his way of not losing face so he do that, or he was really not happy with the coach's discipline. (The punishment was rightfully given.) At that point in time, i almost wanted to shout and scold, "Why you not happy is it?" maybe there's some 'army blood' still in me, but i really wanted to teach that boy what is respect. I held back, couldn't decide at the point in time if it was wise or not as it might cost my rapport with them.

For the 1st time in my life, i wore soccer boots. so u can tell how rarely i play! But i found myself in a reversed postition. Last time i looked at soccer cca ppl from a uniform group eyes, finding them only play play, not disciplined and all the bad influence ppl. Now i'm wearing soccer boots, passing by ppl from girl guides, concert band etc (other ccas in Geylang Meth) and it was a weird feeling for me. I've just learnt that sports also cause ppl to be disciplined, yet i hardly see any among the guys. Their competition is next week yet they are not serious with their training. Can it be because they are just young and not mature?

If success and failure in ministry is measure by our faithfulness towards the Lord then yesterday was a success and today was a failure for me. because i had an opportunity to join the guys at a cafe to talk and build rapport, yet i gave in to laziness and excuses and chose not to. i've missed a great opportunity to get to know them better. and i just realised, the SOCCER COACHING WASN"T MY MAIN REASON I"M THERE! yet in my mindlessness, i placed myself 1st before ministry.

I felt stressed when i reach home. more than just what has happened, i felt horrible, wanting to give up, dun feel like doing anything at all. It's the burn out feeling but yet i can't rest because i still have things to do. the test is real. what i've learnt about faith the opposite of worry, about trusting God, about the joy of the Lord is my strength, about the heart behind doing the tasks, about serving God not serving the service, in the midst of all these, i still have my sins to struggle with. I prayed, yet i did not have faith my situation will change. I want to rest, yet i can't seem to rest properly.

In my brokeness O Lord, remember me. Remember Your promises You gave. I am weary and heavy-laden today. What is this rest that You have promised? Why is the yoke i'm carrying now so much heavier that the one You claimed to be easy and light? Remove from me the yoke of sin and slavery O Lord. Help me find rest in all that You are. You are my main source of strength, the reason why I chose to do all things to the best of my abilities. Help me O Lord, through this time of weariness. Help me find rest.

Consolidation/ SAJC Soccer Coaching/ Movie

2007-01-26T19:59:00.000+08:00

This is what happens when i dun journal often - everything gets dumped together.

Tue was consolidation for Monday staff meeting's lesson. here shall be my applications!
1) Guard against Pride
a) rem that I need to depend on God in everything I need to do
This week is extremely busy for me. Every night there's smth i need to do, be it planning for lessons, or typing out a doc, doing members planning. In the midst of doing all these, i had given up any possible 'relaxation' time. I didn't even have time to watch the prison break i recorded last week. It's been ok for last few days, but i'm starting to feel the strain. I need to constantly pray so that i do not serve the service but God, depending on Him to do all that He has given me.

b)don't like - try to do - God placed me there (it is pride cos when i'm choosing what i want to do, i'm telling God i know better than God and i can overwrite what He has already given me to do)
There were many new things i had to do, and i'm totally not comfortable doing it. First is the Soccer Coaching which is part of SAM's field work. As coaches, our supervisors go into schools to coach training and build relationship with the players and through it share the gospel to them. Of course they serve God as their primary role of coaching soccer. So for us, we are attached to join them, either to join in or to help out with the coaching. The uncomfortable part for me is i'm horrible with soccer and never wanted to improve seriously cos i hardly play! On tue, not only was is soccer coaching, it was SAJC girls. It was super awkward for me being present and watching my supervisor coach girls. I kept worrying about what others might think of me, like i'm there to look at girls etc. Many friends i know will love to be in my position haha. I found it to be a struggle but i was reminded that God placed me there. And even though it was my 1st soccer coaching exp, i've learnt how he coached, the dynamics and inter-personal relationship he builds with his players. it was short but interesting. and it's my 1st time going to SAJC. i find the sports complex so much nicer than TJC one. oh well!

My 2nd thing i felt uncomfortable doing was doing powerpoint slides. I gave many excuses. not pro, not creative, etc. But i still had to do it, cos i need it to teach. So i prayed that God will help me, and He did. I'm quite thankful for the sun sch ppt though. Though it was simple, i took my the whole night (3hours) to do it. Horribly long! now still got cg lesson on PE to do.

2) Faithfulness

- Be responsible in doing things entrusted to me.

I've been too divided in trying to do too many things lately. And i cannot neglect the things entrusted to me. I must plan accordingly. currently i thank the Lord that God gave me time to do BCL with Javier and Aaron, the wisdom to mentor Porter, understanding to prepare Sun Sch and CG lesson. What i need to keep in mind now are my bethel series class which i've totally neglected it and my responsiblity as the Prog IC for this half year's CGEO.

Thurs we went to Chai Chee to do a prog called pinnacle for Sec 3 Normal Tech Students - Nathelie's class! The guys were much different from the sec 1s we came to contact to 2 weeks ago. they were more restless and easily distracted. finding talking point was hard. As the Lord told me to be faithful, i cannot have the mindset that i just do the prog and leave, but to commit it to the Lord by praying for my students, preparing each time before meeting them.

Today was outing. And it was movie watching! We watched Gridiron Gang. In short, it's about a youth juvenile worker trying to use American Football to change the youth convicts and teach them discipline, teamwork, and make them useful to society. It's kinda related to Sports Ministry so we have assignment!! haha got essay somemore leh! feels like sch agaiN! =)

Tmr is a climbing prog for pri4-6 students. not suppose to mention anything about the gospel. it is suppose to support a prog by Youth Guidance. Well, can trust the Lord has a plan. will still need to pray that we are faithful to do our best for the prog. =)

Allowing the Word of God to speak to me

2007-01-22T22:44:00.000+08:00

A tendency i find myself falling into. Today was staff meeting and i looked foward to listen to the speaker. SYFC has speakers who teach and gives u so much details and understanding from the verses. It's really insightful.

Today was on 1 Cor 3:18 - 4: 21 talking about Divisive Attitudes. He summed up into 4 areas, deceiving oneself, misjudging others, misjudging oneself and deceiving others. The verse "the heart is deceitful above all things" struck me as i was reflecting. Here the speaker is trying to tell me about how wrong my perceptions and values can be, holding on to false pride and stuff. Yet, i didn't open myself to reflect as i received the Word.

What went thru my mind instead was knowledge, filling up what i do not know. And next came how can i teach another person about the same topic. But the thought of reflecting it upon myself, the thought of God is speaking directly to me.... was lost. I realised how easily i can get caught up with knowledge of God's word that it just remains as head knowledge! The need to reflect upon myself is very impt. And the reflection must come application. What i need to start and what i need to stop doing. That's the best application questions I've found so far. It really gets u to think!

Pray that I don't allow it to happen again. But allow God to teach me as His word speaks.

Journaling for Project Serve

2007-01-22T20:08:00.000+08:00

My blog shall now be a place where i journal my thoughts and feelings as i go thru this 46 days as a Project Serve in Singapore Youth For Christ (SYFC) serving in Sports and Adventure Ministry (SAM).. I thought it's nicer than just keeping it to a book.. and if i'm going to show my supervisor, then i can't really put very personal stuff.. so ya.. here i go!

Project Serve started 3 weeks ago, with a camp called Adventure Week. I shall not elaborate on the details, they are in a previous post. Then was the Open House where various ministries gave a presentation of what they do - a great enouragement to see how people with different platforms, serving the Lord with the same passion. Then was the rock wall week where we completed Rock Climbing basics level 1 and 2. That sat we had a Rock wall evangelistic event where we conducted rock climbing for about 15 BB boys and also shared the gospel. And then was this week.. Where field works like soccer coaching begins... That's what has happened so far.. Sorry i didn't journal earlier...

Serving as a Project Servant is a really wonderful experience, having able to serve the Lord with like-minded people, all willing to put in effort, all basing their lives with the same principles found in God's word. Amazing. Serving in SAM is really cool. I never knew that there is so much to Sports Ministry, and how God places us where we are, giving us our passion, to serve Him where we are!

My greates struggle thus far has been time management. It's really hard to get used to having only week nights to do everything that i need to do for care group/ church/ personal stuff/ family stuff. It's really hard for me especially when i made it a point to do everything that is given to me well. Juggling more than i can handle becomes really strenuous. Thank God Romans guided me when he pointed it out to me. The trouble with doing too many things is that I become task-minded, no longer remembering the reason i do things.

The Lord in His amazing timing taught me a lesson on Time Management during one of the combined training in SYFC:

The above shows a very lousy paint picture of what i learnt. Cos i tot a diagram really helps, and i didn't take a photo when she taught the lesson. So i rushed thru the above diagram. Ya, managing time is very simple. One principle is 1st things 1st. If we put in the big stuff 1st, then put the smaller stuff, then pour water, everything will go in. The big stuff (ping pong balls) in this case are God related stuff, like responsibilities, and time spent with God, studying His word etc. Then comes the small pebbles which are your important stuff that u need to do like homework, or favours for people. Then comes your sand which are you not impt stuff like ur handphone, computer, blog, chatting, movies, going out with friends. The water in this case represents time. You will have time when the right order is made.

However, if you pour in the sand 1st, there will be no space for the ping pong balls. and you will have problem. Worse, if you trys to control time, (pouring the water 1st) then nothing can go in!

A simple illustration. But it was God's way of teaching me how i can manage my time in this period of stress and time demanding period. I kept finding myself lack of time to do anything!

I am learning now to live by opportunities rather than living by the clock. No longer focused on meeting deadlines, ticking off my to-do-list. But about serving. Doing things, mindful of opportunity. Doing things with the big picture in mind.

Pray that as i carry on this week, that i learn to depend on God as I plan my time and prioritise the things i have to do. And serving God joyfully in the midst of the stress =)

What if... all these were not true?

2007-01-20T22:55:00.000+08:00

I know this post shouldn't even be here.. But i was thinking about it and it was really interesting to consider what i have come to believe in the opposite view point.

I had this thought when i was trying to understand my parents viewpoint and concerns when i was asking about my baptism. The concerns were genuine, out of love for me, from a non-Christian point of view. So it got me thinking... what if.. i was wrong...

My parents said i simply jump into it too quickly and too deeply. If i were in their shoes, i will give that response too. I mean it's only 3 years, you are serving, devoting so much time into it, and nothing else seems important. (if they knew i was leading i think they will be even more concerned!) But it really was valid... How did i end up where i am today?

I think many of my friends will ask that question should they know me now. Though now i admit, i hardly find time for my old friends who knew me before i was a Christian. Why am i so sure? So committed? I think i should think too deep. in simple terms, i've found the one thing in life that explained everything that i needed to know, gave certainty to life and death, but must importantly, i experienced what it is like to know God personally. Like a friendship, as you spend more time with a person, you will get to know him more and that will decide whether you will continue the friendship or not. Similarly, the more i know God, the more convinced i am of the truth that i learnt. If Christianity is about rituals and practices, i think i'll quit going church long ago, because i would rather burn joss stick with my parents than having to struggle to wake up every sunday! But it's really more than fulfilling a duty..

And because in the light of such understanding, i am unable to remain silent. Such great news, such understanding that many are searching, yet i am so privileged to have found it...

Many say they have reasons to believe it is not true.. My question is So let's take it that it is not true, and all of us die and disappear for eternity, then all of us are at a lost. But what if it is true, then I will be with God in heaven and you won't..

Everyone will be held responsible for their choice!

Stepping Into 2007

2007-01-16T23:05:00.000+08:00

Time flew and it's now the 3rd week into 2007. In the midst of my busyness, i want to take time to stop for a moment and look at how has it been so far......

Project Serve in SYFC filled up most of my days. More than just having opportunities to reach out to young people and share the gospel, I have learnt a lot from the lessons, the sharing, and also the supervisors. Serving the Lord together with like-minded people is really amazing. We are motivated and guided by the same reason and purpose, and we work towards that same goal. I didn't expect to learn so much about myself and my walk with God. I am thankful, through the camp, I've sharpened my focus in setting my goals for 2007. And I am thankful to be using what I have learnt before to teach and encourage others. Even though I've learnt a great deal, I'm still doubtful on how much of it have i applied and changed my life. Pray that I do not end up keeping what i've learnt as head knowledge but really apply it to my life.

SPY001 has officially started. I never knew how much effort can be placed into planning Care Group Meeting - setting objectives, arranging, reviewing, brainstorming... I am reminded that it is the Lord that build the house (Psalm 127:1) and we are simply recipients of God's grace. It isn't by my creativity, my 1 year experience as a leader, or anything else that will cause members to mature. It is really God who works. I thank the Lord for the privilege to be part of this work and how i must continue to pray for wisdom and guidance, as well as for each member.

Beyond that, I am very surprised at how God works at home. Through a simple question of "can i get baptised?" It ended up with Dad saying " Explain to me your faith and if you can convince us." It was somewhere along this line. We talked in chinese, making it hard to me to translate most of the terms and explanations i would normally use. I felt i wanted to do smth about it. But i was reminded that God is the One who convicts and He alone can make a person believe. Not my good reasoning and presentation of the gospel. yet, as i pray about it, i know i need to start preparing, and rehearsing for one of the most important moment of my life - the sharing of the gospel to my parents!

Trying to Catch My Breath

2007-01-14T21:26:00.000+08:00

Last week i had a taste of what it's like to be in high gear! Meetings, Fellowship, Project Serve, Chai Chee Sec, etc.. It's only the beginning.. This coming week is going to be even more xiong when i realised that every weekday night can potentially be filled with activity! I'll end up being at home to sleep! Haha, of couse i know how far i can go and when i need rest. No worries =)

But what i want to say is, hey this should be Life. from the moment i wake up till i rest, i'm doing what i find fruitful, and i'm enjoying it, not as wearisome as during the days in army. But i do see the dangers of not being watchful of my relationship with God. It's very easy to fall into "I am ok" mentality, but i thank the Lord for always showing me how much i needed Him.

There is just so much i've learnt and i wanted to share. It has been really encouraging doing project serve in Singapore Youth For Christ (SYFC). It's really amazing to see so many people coming together, wanting to do the same thing with that passion - Responsible Youth Evangelism. Really thank God for the 50 years since SYFC started!

I shall not post my support letter here because it'll seem long and boring to read. But in short, I'm in Project Serve for 3 months, in Sports and Adventure Ministry (SAM). 9am to 530pm each day, going thru workshops, bible studies, rock wall evangelistic session with schools, going to schools for coaching, neighbourhood basketball outreach, etc. To be able to reach out to youths and share the gospel almost everyday is really wonderful and challenging!

***
I went in to the Sanctuary and sat down, asking God to take all my worries and be silent before Him. I asked God to let me worship Him as my heart wanted to and let all other things fade away. Standing in the sanctuary in the midst of the crowd, only God's views mattered to me. And as I began to sing, my hands naturally found its way lifted up. There was only one thing in my mind - I want to praise this precious Lord of mine!

Adventure Week

2007-01-06T23:46:00.000+08:00

What better way to start off Project Serve and a new year than with a camp!

It's really amazing how through a camp, it is the quickest and easiest way to bring a group of strangers to know each other not just by names but also bonded through difficulties faced during the camp!

I shall bring you through what i did for the camp! the reflections on it will be done in another post.

3rd Jan
It has been long since i woke up so early at 530am just to reach Chua Chu Kang by 8am! Going back there reminded me of army because my camp was neart there. But i didn't expect the bus to drive pass by camp area to the camp called Camp Christine. I went into a camp, clueless of what to expect and indeed i was surprised!

Team Initiatives (Warm-Up Games)
Played a few circle and field games and had to memorise a few people's names. A game got us to work together to accomplish a task and another got us to cross a "minefield" blindfolded, guided only by our partner.

Lunch
After the camp briefings and some rules, i was looking forward to eat. And guess what. We have to cook our own food! vegetables, maggi, rice, chicken, seasoning, hotdogs, etc.. 4 groups combined shared a kitchen and cooked! Guys ended up mostly with washing though we did help in the cooking during some meals while the girls need to cooking. The food wasn't bad at all! (we had to do this for 2 whole days!

Orienteering
Guess what, yes map reading and walking again. For 2 hours. The start of bonding within the group.

Lesson on What's worthwhile under the sun

Night walk
We were suppose to visit the chinese cemetery and a christian cemetery. But the rain poured so heavily that we only viewed from the bus

4th Jan
Morning Glory
A light morning jog at 6am. Then jungle trekking. And the best part of it all. Something i had not do since sec sch. MUD CRAWL! we were in our unwanted clothes. But little did i expect it to be at that time, so early in the morning. And the mud was so natural in the middle of the forest! The girls really screamed! Impressed at how they took it rather than complaining.

The Rescue
Another familiar activity for me. building a raft using tyres and wooden planks and rafia strings to tie. Then we rowed it out to the sea to rescue one of our supervisors

Bike Prep/ Lesson/ Race Briefing
The race is the ultimate highlight of the camp. Trekking, biking, abseiling, and more walking! We were briefed and prepared like it was really an adventure race we sign up for. Professionally done.

5th Jan
The Race
We board the bus, went to Bukit Timah! Went up and down the hill, round the hill through the bike trail. Did abseiling at a quarry, walked to MacRitchie reservoir. In case you have never walked these paths before, it was very tiring! Our group came in 1st.. 6 hours of chiong-ing. Cuts, bites, scratches. Lots of souvenirs to bring back home.

Wash up/ BBQ/ Prize presentation

6th Jan
Debrief/ Clean Up/ the end!

Haha, i had not expect the camp to be so physically challenging. It wasn't difficult for me as i had been through similiar and tougher experiences but i was concerned for those less fit and adventurous people. Especially the girls. I was really impressed at how they too persevered and also completed the race. Shall blog on my reflections and what i have learnt next post..

When life speeds faster than i can blog

2007-01-02T22:47:00.000+08:00

Care Groups, Thailand Mission Trip, The Christmas Switch, Christmas Caroling, Christmas Services, Retreat at Sentosa, Countdown at Jon House...

It seemed like a year since i gotten back my pink I/C! yet it's only less than 2 months. SO SO much has happened. As i was packing for Adventure Week just now, i was thinking wow i'm been packing for many camps lately. Adventure Week is the start of my new 'job'. I'm going for Project Serve at Singapore Youth For Christ. I haven't even got time to pen down my reflections i did during the retreat and now i'm off again to another camp. I give thanks to God for the extremely exciting and at the same time fulfilling life that i am experiencing now. I pray that i can cope with all these on top of the CG responsibilities and being in charge of Program for CGEOs this half of the year. But i will see God's work and glory through all these as i had last year.

I will blog about my reflections soon. After this camp i hope i will find time. =)

The Word Became Flesh

2006-12-25T14:13:00.000+08:00

On the left we have a clear understanding of the significance of this blessed day. yet to many who do not understand the terms, here is a more layman explanation of it.

The God who created us and the world, left His heavenly place to live among us. God became flesh like us as Jesus Christ. He came down in order for us to have a relationship with Him once again, because He loves us. He did that by dying in our place.

God is not biased. He loves every single person and offers this gift to all. He does not force us to love Him, but allows us to choose so that we can love Him meaningfully. Like any other gifts you have received this blessed day, you can't claim it for yourself until you reach out and take it. God stretches out this gift before you this day. Will you accept it?

***
-=Too High A Price=-

I thank God that I have been entrusted to share His amazing good news, just as all who knows God. After TCS i was sharing a cab with my bro and joshua. I sat in front and engaged into a conversation with the driver. Within minutes, we were talking about Christmas. I spare no time to bring through why Christ must come and what He did when he showed interest in knowing the reason we Christians celebrate Christmas. By God's help i managed to do it in chinese! Definitely a first for me.

God reminded me of a song We are the Body. it was to remind me how we as representatives of God do not reach out in love, do not love them as He did. He paid too high a price for us to pick and choose. What are you doing to share His love today?

An Unexpected Learning Experience

2006-12-24T11:30:00.000+08:00

Coming back from Thailand, i actually though to myself i've learnt much and so now focus on the Christmas Switch. Little did i expect that God wanted to teach me much through the process of preparing for this event.

The process drew out many of my flaws. The setting of being tired, exhausted day after day with tons of things to take note, do and prepare, i was mentally strained. I found many of my actions and speech to be unpleasing and unacceptable. I should be an encouragement and help others along, but instead i reflected if i had been a burden, adding unneeded stress to people when i spoke without thinking.

My judging eyes and my forgetfulness are some of the other flaws. At the end of each day as i spend time praying, the Lord spoke with a lesson for me to learn each time. When i serve God, my heart/ intention must be pure. For God will know whenever my heart has hidden agendas, and then i will be unable to serve properly because it is for the wrong reasons.

I'm thankful that despite my flaws, God still guided me through. I'm thankful that i managed to have good fellowship with the feng shan boys and brought the good news of Jesus Christ across. Pray that they will see God's love as we did.

Christmas is in the Air

2006-12-19T09:59:00.000+08:00

It's going to be Christmas soon. The season of Advent is coming to an end. I agree that for some years, the Christmas feeling is stronger. It feels more like Christmas this year compared to last year cos I am celebrating it as a civillian! haha. Actually, the feeling is stronger because of the Christmas related events that we are organising. 2 years ago there was The Different Christmas and Celebrate Christmas in Orchard where we actually performed a dance in Orchard. I'm thankful this year we get to organise The Christmas Switch. There's also carolling and for the 1st time after years, Christmas eve is on a sunday. so we now have a sunday with no morning service =p

But in reality, how 'strong' the feeling of Christmas is dependent on what it means to you, and how important it is to you. Christmas for the non-believers is just a time of present exchange, time of love and sharing. But beyond all that they could not see the true joy we see. That in the fullness of time, God left His heavenly realm and set foot on earth, to restore the relationship that was lost. Christmas should always be important because it reminds us of the day Christ came.

The Trip and Me

2006-12-14T21:11:00.000+08:00

It's my 2nd time going to Thailand for mission trip. The 1st time was 2 years ago before entering army. Little did I expect God will call me to lead the team. As team leader, the whole trip was a total different experience for me. It was always more than just about me. I had to keep in mind what's next, be prepared to organise last minute programs for the schools and churches we visited, look after the welfare of the team, PR with the Thai pastors and teachers, many more.

From this trip, 2 characteristics of God are clearly shown. He provides. I've learnt to be appreciative of what God has given us, to trust and depend on Him to provide us with what we need to do His work. God provided me countless advices from both Romans and Ivy. Their advices and guidance made up any lack of experience I had though I learnt that experience is not everything as it might cause you to depend on yourself instead of God. In my uncertain and unknown situation, I was brought to depend on God wholly, and trust in His guidance in making decisions daily. I realised God speaks to us more often than we realises. Almost everytime we know what to do when we have to make a choice and that is wisdom from God.

He provided good health and recovery. I was the only one who fell sick throughout the trip. I had a terrible stomache and it drained my energy the whole morning. Thank God He healed me through A-Chan Pinpaa who was a qualified nurse. She gave me some ginger medicine and i was ok by noon.

He provided Rosanna. This trip we are grateful to have Rosanna to join us for almost the whole trip. She was the answer to the language barrier. Thank God because without her, the gospel skit, the testimonies could not have been as effectively delivered to the thai students and church members we visited. She was also a very fun person to serve the Lord with. I'm glad we can be an encouragement to her as she is to us.

He provided Frode. A Missionary. A Pastor. He is from Norway. You won't believe if i told you how he ended up in Ubon Thailand. It was his birthday (8th Dec) and his wife gave him a ticket to thailand as his present while she stayed back and look after their 4 children. He had been working as a missionary in Ubon for quite a few years already, so this visit is just to see how the church there are doing. We first met him at the church and immediately on the spot we needed him to help us translate testimonies. He followed us to a school for 2 days and there he helped. He was more than a translator, he was an encouragement to us. When we heard about how while we were teaching english, he was talking to the thai teachers and passing them booklets about Christ. As what he said, we wouldn't know what God has done that day until it bears fruit. But God is working. After we parted on the day before his birthday, we wondered when we will see him again. Perhaps next time will be in heaven. =) This is God that in His sovereignty brings His people together to serve Him like that. It made me totally awed just thinking about it.

He guides. These 2 words are written on the mission trip dog tag i made this year. Leading a team like that for the 1st time, i needed guidance. And God really guided me. I was able to discern, able to remain clear on the objectives the team set out to do, and mindful of the things needed to be done. God granted me wisdom to manage the team. Much of which came through the other leaders. I did not always make the best decision but i'm glad many suggestions came along the way and we changed accordingly.

What about me? The only personal goal that i didn't achieve was serving God with joy. Most of the time i allowed the burden of the work and the worries to flood my thoughts that i forget i should be serving with joy and enjoying the moment.

Usualy when we hear others encouraging people to do mission work, they will use the verse the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. A person who has not seen the harvest field will not see the urgent need for workers until he see it for himself. I have. And i really hope to do more next year if i can go back.

I'm Back!

2006-12-13T20:29:00.000+08:00

This is just to inform you that WE ARE BACK!!! WHOO~ It has been a great experience for all 12 of us. I'm thankful that you all have been praying for us. The Lord is indeed great. He can be seen throughout the trip, guiding us, providing us, sustaining us. it was very tiring as a leader, but i'm thankful to have grown closer to the Lord. We'll consolidate and hope to share with you about the trip soon. Thanks again for praying. Love to share with you all what God has done through us. Glory be to God alone.

Youth Thailand Mission Trip 2006

2006-12-01T15:14:00.000+08:00

To make things easier and save time, i shall copy my support letter here.

Dear ,

I am delighted and pleased to inform you that by God’s grace, our youth team will be going on a mission trip to Thailand again this year. Our team of 12 people will be departing from Singapore on 1st Dec and return on 13th Dec (13 days).

During this trip, we will be visiting primary & secondary schools in a village in Ubon, and participating in their English camps where we will teach the students simple English through lessons and games. At the end of the program, we will lead them in a time of celebration with songs, dances, skits and testimonies. We will also minister to the Thai youths in Ubon’s youth hostel where we will be staying. It will be a night of gathering to tell them about God. By God’s providence, we have also been given the opportunity to visit 2 high schools in Bangkok to do a program with them. It is also encouraging to know that all the Lutheran Churches in Ubon wants us to visit them upon knowing that we are going this year.

Our objectives for this trip are to encourage our youths to do engage themselves in the mission field, and also to cultivate godly attitudes and behaviors through the experiences from this trip. In addition, we seek to bring God’s love to the young people in Thailand (Ubon & Bangkok) through the programs and the lessons we have prepared and also observe for any greater opportunities for follow up work to be done.

We have begun our preparations for the trip and would like you to pray for us as we rehearse for our performances and prepare our English lessons for the Thai youths. Pray also that the Lord will keep us healthy until the end of the trip. Most importantly pray that through this mission trip, all of us will grow deeper in love with God.

We hope that you’ll be able to support and join us in doing God’s work through prayer and also, financially. We are required to raise a total of S$450 for each member. Each member will be responsible for their own airfare, so the amount that is raised will be strictly for accommodation and any other expenses incurred during our 13 days in Thailand.

I’m very thankful that God has allowed me to go on a mission trip once again. This is my second time going and I am grateful that God gave me an opportunity to serve Him by leading this team. As I have just finished my NS, I wanted to use this break before going to University next year to explore possible future career paths. I see this opportunity as God’s way for me to explore my gifts and abilities through different ways of serving Him. I also seek to be aware of all opportunities to reveal and share God’s love to others and I believe this trip will allow me to share His love to the Thai people and also to remind me how I should continue to share His love to my friends in Singapore.

Please pray for me and my team, that we will serve God with a joyous heart, sharing God’s love with joy to the Thai youths. Pray that God will help us overcome any obstacles throughout this preparation period, and for the trip itself. Pray for Thai youths that they will have open hearts to receive the gospel.

Your help and support are greatly appreciated.

Ang Peng Siang
Team Leader
Thailand Youth Mission Trip 06

Yea so please pray for me and my team... We will back soon.... till then.. peace out!

Facing Myself

2006-12-01T14:32:00.000+08:00

Before the Hong Kong trip, i saw it as a hinderance, why must it be just before my Thailand Mission trip, especially being the leader of the trip, i have many things to oversee and ensure. But i never knew God had it all planned out. He used the Hong Kong trip to prepare me. Just as how I've shared during a devotion that we need to allow God to prepare us; that throughout this period of practice and preparation, we need to draw near to God.

I was totally surprised at how this Hong Kong trip prepared me. First was the experience of going overseas. It was quite a long time since i've went overseas with my family or friends. The countless custom checks, the things to note, to remember will end up helpful in a way. being in a foreign country not knowing their 1st language can be very irritating. Thank God that at least i still knew how to speak mandrian, so it wasn't that bad. (I don't know Cantonese!)

next was how this trip nurtured patience for me. I was able to see myself in my parents. As in, i see qualities and character that i inherit from my parents. both good and bad. i find it very hard to accept their lack of confidence in me, their over-worrying of too many insignificant things, inflexiblity, and their stubborness at times. Haha, it's actually quite interesting to see that it is natural for my parents and my uncle and aunts(siblings of my parents, not the in-laws) possess this indian chef character. So everywhere we go, we have them discussing. I, on the other hand, usually play and chat with my cousins. But my point is that it felt weird having to "face myself" when i had to tolerate my parents. I was very quick to snap at my parents and was rude at many times when they were unreasonable or worrying too much. because i am like them, i was indirectly scolding myself. It brought me to think how i have not been a living testimony for God, how i have not been matured as i should be, that i had to be lectured by my uncle on patience. It humbled me, reminded me how i have not loved my parents. It also caused me to think how i should not behave, to trust the Lord that i need not worrying about too many insignificant things but to be mindful of the things that truly mattered.

last was how i was prepared to share the gospel. I was presented with quite a few opportunities. but somehow i allowed it to slip and when i looked for opportunities, there was none left. i was not prepared "out of season" when one of my uncle challenged me with his many reasons why Christianity is false. All i did was to defend with all the knowledge i know. however, even though i was aware that he is not going listen what i had to say but kept attacking me with controvesies and saying many things in general, i realised my mistake of keeping it in the intellectual catagory too late. When i realised that the conversation is going no where, i wanted to drive it to find ways to bring the gospel in, yet there was no time. After that i prayed to God, throught the quiet time, God told me i should ask him deeper personal questions instead of dwelling on how i know God is true. Thing like purpose and what's after death, science and human intellect cannot answer. however, i did not approach him the next day simply because i find it uncomfortable to talk to him again. I knew i should, but i didn't.

I was not prepared "in season" too. I knew my aunt's friend (he came to tag along) was interested even though he was a free thinker. I spent a night reading through the chinese way to share the gospel because he is from china and not really understand english. however, i insisted on using a method i've learnt to share the gospl that i miss the chance to talk to him about Christ. he asked why a human being becomes God after dying on the cross. i actually deflected and say i'll explain later at the hotel. but i never found the chance.

Amazing how so many things can happen over the past 5 days. I shall not blog on what i did during the trip, because it was mainly just shopping.. haha (in case u are wondering, that 3rd picture is taken at macau tower. There's this sky walk thing where u can walk around the edge of the tower which is suppose to be about 80 plus storey high. And praise God we actually was in time to see the sun set.. cool eh?)

Going to Hong Kong with Family

2006-11-24T23:14:00.000+08:00

Yep, i'm going off.. tmr early morn.. Pls pray for my family.. esp for opportunities for me and my bro to share God's love to our parents, relatives and cousins. I'm going there to enjoy.. so hope that i'll stop worrying and just enjoy =)

will be back on 29th nov night.. hope not too many things happen when i'm gone =p

The end of a Phase

2006-11-24T14:38:00.000+08:00

I'm very thankful God has given me ample time over the past week to reflect, and prepare. Though i have realised I haven't been focusing and enjoying my fellowship with God lately. Today marks the end of an interesting portion of my post ORD life. Though it's just another friday, it feels very different simply because tmr I'll be going off to Hong Kong with my family and relatives. Sometimes things are added with a lot more meaning when there's an end to it. It causes us to cherish. Amazing how time really flies, it was ORD a few weeks ago and here i am preparing to go overseas already.

Over the past few weeks I find myself being pushed to limits having to go through some personal struggles that really caused great unrest in my heart. They surfaced mainly cause i choose to not listen what God has in mind. Indeed, my experiences supported what God guided me to teach at a cell group. Most of the time it is not that we do not know what God wants us to do, but that we are not prepared to follow. It is clear the directions God is trying to show me, yet i fail to trust as i should. Many things i was watching my heart, after realising how deceitful it can be. Pride, judgemental eyes, irresponsibilities, and other desires of the heart.

The words of Jesus pierced my heart when I was reading on the parable of the wise and foolish builder. I listened but i did not act on it. And when waves come, i fall. It humbled me to take His guidance seriously. It also humbled me to seek His help in overcoming my sinful thoughts and guarding my heart. The meaning of santification reminded me that it is a life of gratitude I'm living, not proving that I'm worthy of salvation. A life of joy, an expression of thanksgiving for the Lord who saved me, unworthy as i am.

Recent Fun Fun Activities!

2006-11-20T20:27:00.000+08:00

Recently it has been packed with much fun activities. Squash/Tennis/Swim at joyclyn's house. I simply wanted to learn squash. Liked the sport once i learnt it. And it's a great challenge to beat Romans. haha he can really play very well!

Then there was board games at my house.. Spend a cell group session playing card games, heart attack, jenga, cranium, etc.. haha we are all very pro at jenga.. stacked it until it is more than twice its original height!

Can my walk with God be measured?

2006-11-19T00:30:00.000+08:00

It's not like me at 12 midnight when i'm preparing to sleep to suddenly on my comp again and blog. (esp i have to wake up early tmr) But I was reflecting... And i was stuck... stuck with the question above. So i decided to type out my thoughts as i ask God and seek an answer.

I was reading Ranald's reflection letter before i off my comp. and it got me thinking how is my walk with God for this month so far. Before i say it wasn't good again, i thought hard.. I was clueless. What is the right thing to use to measure my walk with God?

Is it feeling? I don't FEEL as close to God. then i thought why. maybe because i've been praying so often it lost it's special effect and meaning that "Hey i'm talking to God!" But i do acknowledge God and i do make effort to mean everything i pray and to pray what God prompts me to. I know I'm sincere in my words. (One will know it when one is sincere or simply chanting words!)

Then maybe it's because i had not been doing my QT regularly.. Then i thought, so i measure my walk with God by how many QT i'm doing? Can't be.. Because my actions should be an expression of something deeper inside.. God doesn't measure ppl by what they do anyway.. I believe that there should be no difference. If we are saved by grace and not works, how can works be used to measure how "good" a Christian is? It's simply wrong!

Is it then my attitude towards Him? How am i going to measure something like that? i can't.. just like love is something beyond measure, can't be quantified.

Then can i only measure my walk with God by looking at the trials i go through? Because it seems only during trials i FEEL God very close to me because i seek Him so earnestly... (Of course I do know that by right we should seek God with the same intensity, and i'm not going to give any excuse because I failed to do so.) So trials aren't the measure of my walk with God.

After thinking through, i have a few conclusions. One fact i left out is that a relationship with God is both ways and is not by human efforts alone. But the promise God gave is that if you draw near to God, God will draw near to you (James 4:8). Next, my relationship with God is not something i should measure for it is not meant to be measured! Every relationship God has with His children are different and special. Only God and you will know how close your relationship is. And you cannot check and compare each month and expect to see results and changes everytime because certain struggles God brings you through should be seen in a bigger picture and takes time.

With that said, it doesn't change anything we already know but reaffirms the character of God. Neither does it change our attitude towards how we should live our lives. Our attitude should be to acknowledge God throughout your day. That means that if i did not exactly think of God when doing work.. it means i did not depend on Him. Then if i did not think of God for the ministry I'm doing, it is not acknowledging God/not doing it with the mindset I'm doing for God. And it is VERY REAL and DANGEROUS especially when u are doing so many things and doing it so often. QT sharing, song leading, reading the bible are just a few. We are to put in effort to change the areas of our lives that God prompts us to, because we love God. It is an on-going process and doesn't mean you are a more successful Christian if you can change more areas.

With that i conclude this post with a few facts. God sees all man the same. All have sinned. Serious, unintended, once, many times, still sin. God does NOT measure Christians by how good they can serve or pray or convert ppl. So neither should we measure each other like that.

10 days after ORD self-check

2006-11-16T18:16:00.000+08:00

It has been 10 days sicne i ORD-ed, and a month since i started clearing leave... And then comes these important questions..

What have i done?

Erm.. packed my cupboard and got rid of a lot of useless things.. Didn't really spend more time to help my bro.. spend a lot of time in church with the guys, preparing for mission trip, cell group stuff..

The "I want to do" list was accumilated since last year when i dreamt of the amount of free time i will have when i ORD. so much i wanted to do, improve myself etc.. but now, like not much really done..

But i'm thankful i did spend quite some time with God, serving Him, fellowship with His people.. such time spent are simply invaluable.

My next question was... Do i enjoy what I'm doing?

Not exactly because like the previous post i mentioned i was too caught up in getting things done.. "must learn how to have fun naturally".. haha that was a feedback by Sherm during the TMT i went 2 years ago.. The journal was one of the many things i enjoyed looking at while i was packing my cupboards. I found my nametag with Patrick in Thai written on it.. Found loads of treasures.. and also loads of trash. i kept many things, thought they were smth worth keeping. but threw away while packing. I threw away my AHS year books.. i thought to myself, i won't wanna look at it in future anyway, i would rather look at my CCA photos.. but i kept my TJ year books.. haha!

I will try to learn to have fun naturally.. it's weird eh, that deep inside i want to have fun (who wouldn't!) but yet i refrain myself from it.. hmm

Guilt and a sense of Guilt

2006-11-14T21:53:00.000+08:00

This is something i found really interesting from bethel series and want to share.. The words and the way they phrase certain ideas really causes an impact!

"The rebellion in Eden triggered that moral mechanism in Adam's heart and suddenly a sense of guilt arrived upon the scene to pay its visit. Like a messenger out of nowhere it dangled Adam's failure before his eyes and reminded him that the Master of the garden had issued no decrees which would permit man to make his own rules... Plagued by a sense of guilt and fearful of facing the offended, Adam and Eve, took the one avenue of escape open to them. They hid from God."
..
"The feeling of guilt is deadly and no living mortal has escaped it. Many times it has breathed its stagnant breath upon us, and we have recoiled from its stench. Like an unwelcomed intruder it bursts upon us in persistent intervals and takes up a residence in human hearts which are neither designed nor intended to harbor it. When it comes, it is ugly! It rains ruin upon peace f mind and makes shambles out of serenity and well-being, because it brings with it a whole company of bed fellows: shame, uneasiness, a gnawing sense of hypocrisy, regret and remorse. It destroys the sense of self dignity, because it parades our failures before our eyes. It turns our spirits downward into dust, and we are left with nothing loftier to think about than our own misery. And we who have offended God do not like to face Him with a fistful of failures, anymore than Adam liked to face Him! "
...

Hence, the extreme joys on hearing the good news. God's love is greater than man's rebellion! GOD LOVES US YET! When God says, Your sins are forgiven, accept His forgiveness and don't be plagued by guilt. Guilt does everything bad but DOES NOT prevent us from sinning even more. God's forgivness doesn't and will never depend on who we are or what we do. That's God's love for you! Understanding the truth helps to set us free =)

Recent Notes

2006-11-14T21:17:00.000+08:00

This is Tim's version of the Buddha in case if you are wondering.. Had an amazing time with the guys at the Chalet. (Romans, Tim, my bro, minoru, porter, michael, chang xiang) We played Cranium! The chalet was booked by my parents for my cousin's 21st bday. but her friends all left by sun evening maybe cos all either working or poly students. Even though it was a short 1 night stay, it was very fun.. esp all guys! haha!

Again i shall say, yes much has happened. but that should be the life I'm expected to experience. After all, I live again thanks to what Christ did, living with a purpose, able to experience every moment here on earth with God. However, my QT today spoke exactly what i had been doing. Christ has opened our prison cell doors, yet we are still in our cells, not walking out! Christ saved me from living a meaningless life that merely exist on this earth but the ability to experience it to its fullest. yet, i had been "living in the future"(a term i came up with). i had been caught up with completing tasks that i always kept doing about it, and not focused on the present; always looking ahead the point when i finish the tasks. it's a never ending trap that only costed me living and experiencing the present! i should worry less and enjoy what i'm doing yet remain responsible...

I'm already free from army, i can choose to do what i want with my time.. so why am i not glad about it? hmm... oh YAY! =D

Our purpose in Life

2006-11-08T11:00:00.000+08:00

Sorry for the sudden surge of posts. Haha, i just want to make sure every thought is recorded down now that i can do it.. unlike last time when i couldn't access the net from camp..

I was reading through the testimonies of various members that is to be used to share to the Thai youths during the mission trip. one thought keep coming to my mind.. After keep asking others to think about the purpose of life, to ask them what they are chasing after, do we ourselves really know and understand the purpose of life is?

Trust and obey God. that's what we tell each other, that's the model answer we give others. But i wonder if i really understand what it means. I mean trust in what? obey in what? From discovery journey, i learnt it's trust in God providing our needs, and obey in the purpose in what God determines for us..

ok.. so what the purpose that God determined for us? haha, i can't imagine i took so long to start thinking about this issue. after so long being a Christian..

Then God, as always helped me in my understanding.
Acts 17: 24-28
The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And He is not served by human hands, as if He needed anything, because He himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man He made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and He determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek Him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though He is not far from each one of us.

Our purpose is similar to God's purpose in sending Jesus Christ. Restoring the relationship that was lost.
A quote from my bethel series notes:

It was... is... and alwats shall be the will and the purpose of God to bring His estranged children back into His waiting arms that they might live with Him in eternity.

That's the summaried message of the Cross.. and the whole Christian life. To seek God and to tell and help others to do so to. and hence the greatest commandment. Love God and love your neighbour. So our purpose in life is to return to the relationship with God aka seeking God daily. And that love in the relationship gives the ability to trust Him and obey Him. so trust and obey becomes a result, not the purpose.

Just some thought to something that i'm not satisfied and convinced about. And it's amazing that our purpose and God's purpose is the same. But then again, why shouldn't it? =)

Random shots using my new phone!

2006-11-07T22:06:00.000+08:00

My new phone can take quite power pictures.. given that it is 3.0 Meagepixels =) but after exploring, i found out there's more to it...

This is was accidently taken while trying to take the photo below.. there was a lag before the photo is taken.. so i thought the camera already took it and i turned my phone back up-right.. and this happened! i was so amused by it! haha, tried to do it delibrately again but can't seem to get it.. this effect is cooL!

This is an effect i didn't know my phone could do.. the effect is called Sketch.. so i can take pictures as if they are like comic drawings.. so cool.. sorry lah.. i noob, dunno got such interesting functions..

Be prepared - in season or out of season

2006-11-07T21:31:00.000+08:00

Ivy was sharing about how God reminded her of the need to be ready at all times to share about God during last sunday's mission trip devotion session. I was reminded again when i was waiting for bus yesterday. The tree you see bears beautiful white/pink flowers at special times of the year.. and when i saw it without its beautiful flowers, God used it to remind me how important it is to be prepared even when it is "out of season". another words, there is no planning or special events to share God's gospel. God, whose ways are incomprehensible, will bring people to you to ask about God or opportunities for you to share about your life with God at very unexpected timings.

If we allow such opportunities to pass us without any concern, then it's time we should ask ourselves how important and urgent do we see sharing the Gospel is?

"preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction." (2 Tim 4:2)

ORD LOH!

2006-11-06T11:12:00.000+08:00

it resounds throughout the island.. only those who had been thru can understand the significance of the colour and the 3 letters... the long awaited date at last HAS COME!

ORD LOH!

the counter reached ZERO!

2006-11-05T21:21:00.000+08:00

wow... i can't believe it.. the counter reached ZERO days!!! see above.. *trying to psycho myself to be excited.. I've been too caught up in Mission Trip stuff, cell group stuff that i've forgotten about camp! good sign? yay!

by the way, i'm just totally puzzled.. people visit my blog don't tag one.. then i have no idea who is visiting.. last week this was the status:
Journey To Perfection
(s11GreatAPS)
-- Site Summary ---
Visits
Total ........................ 4,581
Average per Day ................. 16
Average Visit Length .......... 3:08
This Week ...................... 114

Page Views
Total ........................ 5,770
Average per Day ................. 21
Average per Visit .............. 1.3
This Week ...................... 145

114!! wow, even if i have 20 ppl viewing, everyday they''ll view every day once! gee just who is looking at my blog.. average visit 3 mins somemore.. heh lolz, maybe it's the "using my blog as a link to other websites" making the counter inaccurate.. oh well! doesn't really matter =)

The end of 1year 10months

2006-11-04T10:01:00.000+08:00

Peng’s Reflection Letter – October

ORD Letter

It’s finally over! We always complain how time flies but not for me this time. This 1 year 10 months is packed with countless experiences and life-changing situations that challenged everything I had. Physically, Emotionally, Attitudes, Behaviours, Perspectives, Maturity and most importantly my Spiritual walk with the Lord.

I must first thank God. Because if He had not called me to follow Him before I go into NS, I would have been a very different person today. But amazing and sovereign as always, God called me at a critical point in my life and through the many experiences which I’ve shared and blogged about, God pulled me closer to Him.

He taught me to trust Him. Even in the most impossible and hopeless situations, God worked miracles. In the midst of all negative and ungodly influences, God told me to obey Him and be a light. As much as I’ve struggled, God showed me the power of His Spirit working in me to keep the light going. When I was totally drained and found it impossible to live a Christian life in NS, He gave me strength and motivation to carry on by reminding me of His love for me and my love for Him.

NS provided an opportunity for me to experience an extreme. Though it might not be worse than the past as many people would brag about, it did got me way out of my comfort zone, and I found myself alone with God. Everywhere I was posted except the initial few months, I was the only Christian there. Not only did I not receive any encouragement from Christians but everyday I live with jokes made by my close friends and situations to cause me to waver God’s standards. This really caused me to totally depend on God’s strength and it really helped me to appreciate the Lord even more.

Because of how much God is doing, it has become a way of life for me not to stop telling others what God is doing and how great He is. And all glory should go to the Lord because without Him I would be helpless.

Comparing with how I was before the NS, I thank God that He used this experience to help me to be independent and to treasure Him so much that I would not exchange it for anything else.

Moving to the next stage in life, I see a different setting. Back in my comfort zone I should not allow myself to forget how valuable the pure and close relationship with God is. It may seem weird but doing God’s work seems to have a greater tendency for me to forget about God. I tend to think that I’m “safe” being accepted by God for what I do. I lost that intimacy with God recently. It cannot be a work I’m obliged to do. I cannot wait until something happens then I start to seek God as fervently again. My service for God should be an expression of love for Him, and the responsibilities I have cannot be a burden to me. But I realised it will be so if I stop loving God as much. Sometimes I justify myself thinking that doing QT and praying should make us close to God but I realised it should be a relationship, like a friendship. And it’s an every moment thing.

I’m very grateful that God gave me the opportunity to lead a mission trip. And I pray that my effort put in will be as much as the love I have for Him. With a month of preparation before we go, I pray that this journey of preparation will help every member to be drawn closer to God in constant dependence and prayer. Pray with me for the team, the trip and myself for wisdom and discipline to lead the team well.

A Civilian Once Again
Peng

Shifting to High Gear

2006-11-02T23:08:00.000+08:00

For all of us when we blog, there are times we wanted to write something down but because it's too personal maybe because it is not meant to be public or too embrassing, we had to find elsewhere to jot it down..

For me, sometimes i simply don't publish the post but save it as a draft for future personal reference. =)

Where did my time go? I quite amazed how time keep passing yet i don't see much of the things i set out to do get done. Partly is the ORD mood which leads to the attitude:" yea i'm very free, go out? sure!" I gave lots of promises to do things or help others, but i end up being a irresponsible person when my precious resource - time runs out.

The Lord taught me many things throughout the past few days. and much more will come. the more He guides me, the more i realise i need to mature and prepared. I only pray that I'll overcome my weaknesses with His help and start fanning into flames the gift the Spirit has given me.

And yes, I bought a new phone. I love my new phone. even the process of getting it was something that only God could have made it possible. Anyway i guess this will be my last big budget item i will buy.. cash stopped coming in le.. must be careful how i spend my $.

*note: A happy congras to my friend getting his pink i/c tmr just because he enlisted a day earlier. oh well, after a year and 10months, 1 weekend more isn't much difference eh... Getting my pink IC on MONDAY!

2006-11-02T22:30:00.000+08:00

This picture shows the front of the Synagogue we visit last last tue. (sorry late post) It is written something like "Remember who you are standing before" We should have it too in our church. It helps us remember that we are standing before the great Lord and out of our reverence show respect for Him

Normal Blogging will resume shortly

2006-11-02T11:12:00.000+08:00

I do wish i need not spend time typing out my thoughts.. haha 1 post sometimes takes more than half an hour simply typing it and editing it.. will post soon.. currently having much to do.. =)