The Reason I Live is Christ

Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching; persevere in these things, for as you do this you will ensure salvation both for yourself and for those who hear you. (1 Tim 4:16)

Wednesday, August 30
My fav place to meet God

One part of me doesn't seem to change..Even though I know i can find God anywhere, i like to cycle to my fav spot in Pasir Ris park and sit on top the the breakwater, feeling the breeze, listening to the rhythmic sound of waves to talk to God. Whenever I ride my old but trusthworthy bicycle there, it feels as if i'm leaving the real world and all its troubles and worries with the desire to meet God in peace.

Before i come to know God, i liked to come to the beach to reflect on my life, always searching for a purpose but always in vain. Now i want to keep that habit to remind myself that i need to stop at times, especially when a lot of events are happening in my life, to see if i've strayed, losing myself in the busyness of my service to God.

but i'm really afraid it might end up being a place of false security. that i will not feel peace if i dont go there. the Lord shall always be my refuge. the place is only to help me focus =)

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May the Lord be sovereign in His dealings with my days. I was quite affected when the possibility having to help out being a weapon safety for a Mortar Live Firing on 9th Sept was made known to me. and as the week slowly passes the possibility becomes greater as the number of people qualified to be a weapon safety is very limited. I thought to myself surely it can't be so. 2 years in a row! God is really playing with me! for both years i get to spend my birthday firing Mortar! But last week's sermon on the mercy of God reminded me of my humble position before the Lord. The Lord by His sovereignty has already cancelled the august live firing due to some military reasons i cannot reveal. If not that sunday i wouldn't be out of camp. Of course if i look at it, i would rather go for the live firing on august with my trainees, then helping out another course's live firing where i don't even know the trainees! But God has helped me to say, the Lord gives, the Lord takes away. May the Lord's will be done.

on the bright side, who will ever get such a privilege? only a limited few get to see the mortar live firing, let alone on their bday for 2 consecutive years in a row! -_-
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I'm gonna be bhb like Shermaine.. haha hmm what would i like for my bday.. seriously being in NS i don't really need anything. there's only 1 need and that's a new guitar but it's too ex to be a gift so i'll get one after i ORD.(anyway, i'm gonna "operate" on my guitar so that i can find a way to make my strings closer to the neck, if not my poor fingers are going to suffer!) But i thought for gifts, i would rather cards and messages, not those that just have a simple birthday wish, but a sincere message. i think these gifts are most valuable that when you look at it again 5 years from now, it becomes really priceless! heh, but of course knowing all of you are the best gifts God gave =)

-=P3ng=- | 7:59 pm

Sunday, August 27
Media Influence

Since I suggested it, of course i will do also haha..

Types of Media I'm exposed to:
Straits Times (found in the office everyday)
Movies (watch with S&P or instructors)
Mr Brown's podcasts
Hardly any TV shows
Rarely Tsubasa Chronicles (anime) and Smallville
Chinese Pop / Sentimental songs

* i lost my interest in TV shows. either can't find the time, always busy with stuff whenever i book out.. haha

1) Is entertainment media influencing me too much? What is the danger if i allow it to happen?

Perhaps chinese pop songs that create the loneliness and desire for a partner to love. And Mr Brown's lame podcasts that get me keep repeating his lines even though they are meaningless.
If i am not discerning, then i might adopt this kind of mindset as my lifestyle - Seeking this loving feeling and allow it to cloud logical and sensible thinking, like to hear and imitate senseless but funny lines and ideas that might be distorted, even influenced to use some swearing words.

2)Do i feel that i can watch/listen/read sinful materials without allowing me to affect me?

Even if I am able to discern carefully what's right and wrong, i cannot guarantee that it will not affect me.. especially it is packaged in such a nice way, through jokes, chart music hits, blockbuster movies, TV drama..

3) Am i like Daniel? Standing firm and choosing God - not even willing to expose myself to slightest corruption in the media?
To the things that the Holy Spirit prompts is not healthy and wrong to watch, I must learn to obey and walk away from it. Though impossible to avoid all the time, I must continue to be rooted in God's word and a close relationship with God so that i can discern and be led by the Holy Spirit rather than what i'm being influenced in the media.

-=P3ng=- | 9:31 pm

Tuesday, August 22
EBSO #2

A great test of trust and obedience it was last sat. In terms of accepting God's plans, not my plans.. In terms of loving how the Lord would have loved and not doing what was easy.. Not that i was perfect in doing so..No, i was far from loving God, despite I was teaching about sin, about God's perfection and His demands.. But by God's grace, things went well.. And His glory is seen once again. Doesn't need things to go how i've planned to ensure His work is properly carried out. God can still change events, and His higher purposes can be achieved even though all my plans went haywire. He is God afterall =)

Had fun facilitating the games during EBSO, and i've succeeded to cause all my members to sin~ how about that for being a cult leader! -_- Played Bluff, Polar Bear. To win my game prize of $200, they were suppose to be as perfect as possible by not making any mistakes when playing Game of Concentration. The catch was that if the winner had lied during Bluff and Polar Bear, then i get to keep my money. Of course, i not that rich to give out money just like that..though i did try to persuade myself that if really someone won and really didn't lie, i'll must give.. But I guess we can so easily deceive ourselves that since it's a game, it's ok for me to lie.

Cool right? singing songs of praise.. in the city area!

I love this photo! This was taken at the moment i ask, Who do you think is the Polar Bear. YOu can see how easy it is to accuse ppl.. And yes, Becky was the Polar Bear! haha!

Carpenter's Tool concert was really cool. Didn't really focus on the concert but used that time to think about how to share gospel to Chang Xiang's friends. We caused some problems for the management because the confirmation ppl came late, and we reserved seats.. so rushed in with a very unsettled mood.. but praise God we all get to see the whole concert!

-=P3ng=- | 8:39 pm

Settler's Cafe

*This is a 1 and a half week delayed post..

2 sundays ago my OAC friends had a gathering at Settler's Cafe near Clark Quay mrt. I had no idea such cool place existed.. heh maybe i'm that "Mountain Tortoise", or "frog in the well".. but i'm still gonna post my excitement about my visit..

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What is the concept of Settler's Cafe?
-Settlers Cafe is Singapore's First and Only board games Cafe. We have over 200+ different board games, ranging from ordinary to the exotic!

-The way we charge is pretty unique!
Our charges are different from Computer LAN gaming shops where per head per hour charges is applicable for any number of guest.
Charges are done per table per hour, similar to booking a room in Karaoke.
Standard and Deluxe Packages entitle free gaming hours up to 6 pax only. Additional $2 per head per hour will be levied for 7 pax and more.
Free flow of house games during your stay, no rental charge per game
Best of all...... No GST.
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Heh heh, i played 4 games in total with my friends during my 3hours there.. It was really entertaining.. Boards games, card games, even a simple balancing disc was pretty cool.. here are some photos.. hope to visit the shop at Katong someday soon =)

here's the website for more info: http://sg.settlerscafe.com/

Card game like UNO.. except it has lots of cute pigs.. you get to collect pig figurines when you win.. =( i only win 1 ...heh heh, my friends all had a herd!

This boardgame is I'm the Boss... A game of deal making, negotiation and cut-throat bargaining! we spent most of our time playing this.. Took a while to understand the game, but when we start negotiating, we had to tell each other it's only a game.. if not we all are too nice to each other..haha!

I didn't get to finish playing this game.. Had to leave to book in.. oh well.. =)

-=P3ng=- | 7:51 pm

Saturday, August 19
God can you hear me?

My Lord my Lord, are you there
Do you hear your servant's cries
Do you see my doubts

Why must You makes things so unknown
So complicated beyond understanding
How can I trust if I'm unsure
How can I be sure if You don't reply

You know i will do as You say
You have taught me beyond what i need to know
You have equipped me for Your work
You even showed me that You work through me
Out of my overflow I am to serve
Not on my own strength but that of God's

But Lord where did i find those words I speak
Where did i find those encouraging words and advises
Where did i find the confidence to say "This is what God says"
How will i ever be sure this is what You wanted

Are they from You O Lord?
The words of encouragement, rebuke and teachings
Even what I speak I'm amazed
Is it really You God?

Lord my heart is deeply troubled
How can I claim to know what You want to say
When I can't fully understand You

You are the Lord Almighty
Your ways are higher than mine
How can i be so confident
That the decision I made is what You wanted?

Lord I do not want to lead people astray
I do not want to give false teachings
I do not want to assume that You are really talking to me
I'm beginning to worry

But Lord You still say
To trust and obey You
To leave the rest to You
To know that whatever happens,
You are still sovereign

Who am I to demand a sign
To convince me that it's really You talking through me
Or am I really making it up with my mind

Who am I that I can know Your ways
But You said You have made us Your children
And made Your ways known to us

Lord i really want to pray
That I do not speak from what i think
But to truly say Your words
Help me to be closer to You
By Your grace help me know it's You when You speak

By Your love I'm changed
For Your love I want to live

-=P3ng=- | 10:32 pm

Saturday, August 12
A New Age has come! | Little Things Matters

2 years has been long.. But finally the time has come for a new era! (for my blog that is..) A new skin, and a new camera, things are gonna spice up a lot more down here.. just waiting for the end of august before the revamp of my blog is complete..

Ok, so i really want to take photos like i used to during OAC.. allows me to remember the wonderful times i've spent with my OAC mates, the adventures we've been to, not forgetting the training =) But ever since army, and finding my old camera really not as good, i stopped..

Now to proper things i wanted to post about. The last few days had been quite a struggle for me. The Lord constantly pricked my conscience as i struggled even with the small matters because God says He is interested in them too...

1) On thursday, by God's will, i didn't follow the trainees to another camp for training, but stayed in the office to do some admin stuff. The other 2 instructors that are told to stay with me are regulars (ppl who sign on in army). We managed to finish up the admin within a hour plus. Then we could have left and gone home. Actually they were planning to do so and told me about it the day before.. I was like yes, i can find time to buy my camera, go home and change my blogskin..My friend could have drive me to sim lim..i could come back at night.. but just as i went to bathe and about to leave, God pricked me. The 4 letters AWOL came to mind. (Absent Without Official Leave). I realised my boss didn't give me permission to go. Of course we all knew our boss won't really care that much but God said He cared. He cared that I do not compromise, that i do what is right. Questions came to mind as if it were God talking to me: is that camera really that important, do you urgently need it, do you need to go home? The answer is no. Then the lesson on choosing God in my culture struck me as i worried about how to tell the other 2 that i decided to stay and not go with them.. what they will think. Finding my courage from standing firm in the Lord, i did not change to my CV clothes but went down in PT attire. the Lord is amazing. he knew i was afraid of being rejected as being too inflexible and rule-following, when i told them, they didn't really question much...

I stayed in the end, playing Worms world party, practice guitar, and did a bit of planning for EBSO lesson.. I never knew such small matters could cause such a struggle in me. Guess it's really not natural for us to be rule-abiding.. that we always see the short-term personal benefits than worry what God will think. Now i know God says even in the small things, God cares. and when the Holy Spirit prompts, don't grieve the Lord by disobeying.

*in the end God gave me time the next day.. i did not get the camera that i wanted.. because by God's grace, the shop uncle was kind enough to tell me the bad points about that camera i wanted and that not many ppl buying it. instead he showed me another one much more popular and cheaper. thank God for that! in the end i spent less than $500. I got Fujifilm's Finepix Z3 =)

2) Today was yet another struggle. i woke up this morning viewing a sms from Romans. Rosanna not coming today because she feeling unwell. Please think of something to do. I was like great.. what can we possibly do. i woke up having planned what i wanted to do, prep for EBSO, prep for Bethel series. before i knew it, i found myself in a struggle again. everything i've learnt and shared comes back to me again. i find myself giving excuses but each excuse was totally rebutted by God. one was why me. God reminded (i have to be reminded.. great job peng.. -_- ) me that i too share that responsibility. my first instinct was to push it away but God pricked me on that. next i came up with an excuse, i have too many things to do.. then God said.." really? " then the lesson on serving out of overflow came to my mind.. my next excuse was i'm not a pro.. how to come up with something to do within such a short period of time, will my ideas be accepted anyway? then God reminded me of what i have learnt.. God who calls equips and it's not about ur ability but how God can work through you.. So i prayed and allowed God to help me think about what we can do for cell group..

in the end by God's grace, the lesson was really encouraging.. nope not my idea, Rosanna left a cd for us to view.. about this guy born without arms and legs but God used him to testify His glory. amazingly i wasn't really bothered and ask God why if You wanted to show this video in the first place still ask me to plan.. because i know God had ministered to me using this situation. and after all it isn't about me, but the young people we are ministering to..

Little things matters..because it will mould you and determine how you will react should a big storm comes.. even from the little things God teaches..

God is really great =)

(long post i know, but it's never too long if it is praising God)

-=P3ng=- | 10:49 pm

Tuesday, August 8
Seeking God or Seeking Eternal Life?

I was thinking abt this last week.. let's say what if eternal life and reconcilation with God didn't come together.. and you had to choose.. what will it be for u?

The answer is obivous for those of us who have come to know God. But this question got me to think about which really mattered to me, which mattered to God, and which should I be using to share the gospel? It simply shows me that if i were to tell a person, the answer to eternal life, life after death in heaven, is to believe in what Jesus did for all of us, and to seek God and know Him... that seeking God becomes like a method to attain eternal life.. and that's totally wrong!

Better is one day in Your courts than thousands elsewhere

For those of us who know the Lord, how precious is the Lord to you? How precious is this fellowship, this time you can spend with Him...? Wouldn't you trade anything for this relationship with God? How more will you try to maintain this fellowship with God?

QT is time set aside in your day to spend time with God. talking to Him, listening to Him, being in His presence. Have you ignored Him today?

-=P3ng=- | 11:02 pm