The Reason I Live is Christ

Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching; persevere in these things, for as you do this you will ensure salvation both for yourself and for those who hear you. (1 Tim 4:16)

Friday, June 30
Blogging.. A passing craze?

Not me, I've been blogging for.. erm almost 2 years! how about that! haha, so cool, porter and minoru and even Romans starts to blog le..Blogging is a great way to express yourself, for me i make sure I give glory to God for what He is doing in my life...

And i just remembered i can 'steal' people's tagboards.. ok la not steal.. monitor! haha, esp when everyone's tagboard is more interesting than their blogs.. this is a great way to see all tagboards at one shot.. only bad thing is that my blog now takes much longer to load.. =(

heh heh.. i'm not putting photos becos i no camera.. wait till ORD 1st, then find a good camera =)

-=P3ng=- | 10:00 pm

Thursday, June 29
杨丞琳 - 暧昧

暧昧让人受尽委屈

找不到相爱的证据

何时该前进何时该放弃

连拥抱都没有勇气

只能陪你到这里

毕竟有些事不可以

超过了友情还不到爱情

远方就要下雨的风景

到底该不该哭泣

想太多是我还想你

我很不服气也开始怀疑

眼前的人是不是同一个真实的你

暧昧让人受尽委屈

找不到相爱的证据

何时该前进何时该放弃

连拥抱都没有勇气

暧昧让人变得贪心

直到等待失去意义

无奈我和你写不出结局

放遗憾的美丽停在这里

*i'm not spared from the problems of infatuations.. just simply clinging onto a promise God gave...

that He'll let me meet my partner in His perfect timing...

-=P3ng=- | 11:04 pm

The world from a bird's view!

Ever wondered how the church might look like from above?

Yay, Google Earth is cool.. just can't be bothered to fully utilise it yet.. =p Very cool to see the world's buildings and nature without leaving your home.. oh well.. maybe i'll find time some other time =)

-=P3ng=- | 10:42 pm

Sunday, June 25
CurL (Challenge Ur Limit!)

Haha, sounds rather cool and sporty right? Actually the event is far from any marathon competition you might think of. NTU's Welfare Service Club (WSC) organised a 12km kayaking expedition for benificiaries in singapore. (aka disabled ppl, trouble kids and hearing impaired people)

I got myself involved when my friend who is studying in NTU asked all of us from OAC if we were interested in this event. That it is totally paid for, they just need our time and help to mix with them. I told myself, even though it may be a sunday, somehow I'm convinced God would have wanted me to go. esp when He did equipped me with some skills in kayaking. I knew kayaking , esp in double kayak, is a great chance to talk. because you simply get stuck with another person, throughout the whole journey. I was prepared and asked God if i can pair up with someone who would be open to the gospel...

The sovereignity of God showed ever so obvious today. In the morning just after I arrived at Pasir Ris Sea Sports Club (Pasir Ris Park), it rained... quite heavily. Spirits were really down as we were all somehow convinced that we might not get to kayak after all.. But God's power shined through when just after the opening ceremony and speeches, the rain died down and we were off! I was quite disappointed at first when i was told i was going to be paired up with another volunteer.. because that would mean no diff from my usual kayaking.. little did I knew God didn't change my purpose in being there today....

The majority of the volunteers (after much personal intro and asking around) , were from NTU. Almost all of the guys, besides my friend who isn't a singaporean and hence don't need do NS, everyone had ORD and even done re-service for 2 to 3 times already... It's interesting to know that people still sound like they are in the army in their normal conversations.. haha! guys will be guys? I think i might too.. =) I also get to know a few girls in my group. 2 were Hwa Chong Kayak team.. competitive one. wahahh, to think when my partner and I raced with them, we lost 1 out of the 3 rounds.. (my partner was big size ok.. and i'm skilled! =p) they are very fast for 2 girls.. haha

The guy i'm paired up with was a 3rd year Electonics Engineering course student.. he's in this WSC and also Buddhist society. that was the starting point of the link i grabbed when i slowly asked him about what he know about Buddhism and we started talking about religion. I keep telling him to speak his mind, being afraid he dun say some stuff to give me face or afraid to offend.. We talked all the way on our trip to somewhere near puggol jetty. i shared about what Chrisitianity is about. from creation to life after death.. i spend more time listening to what he has to say about how he think Buddhism suits him better, how he sees life differently and refrain himself from killing ants or mosquitos, about hoping to become a vegeterian. I simply posed questions and explained what i thought was helpful. in the end, i told him, if he really wish to know the truth, ask God Himself and if He does reveal it, it'll be a unstoppable chain of coming to know God and the truth.

The journey back was ok, didn't talk much.. spend a lot of time trying to be clear from the traffic. try imagine 8 groups, each about 5 kayaks.. about 40 double kayaks and also about 10 instructor single kayaks (ppl from the sea sports club), speed boats etc.. It was really a very big group!

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. " (Isaiah 55:9)

Indeed, sometimes we might not see what God has planned for us. A simple word - Trust, is something sufficient for us.

-=P3ng=- | 7:31 pm

Sunday, June 18
Misc thoughts..

another of those what happened posts =)

Past week is physically, mentally and spiritually tiring for me. SO much it took me all the way back to what i once felt like in India. tired, can't be bothered, leave me alone! simply numbness to everything around me. Last week was the xiong part of the driving phase for my trainees. from tue to fri, everyday go to the driving circuit then from morn till late afternoon it's following in the vehicles driven by my trainees. once one is done, another hops on. more xiong for instructors. =s i think the number of times i went up and down the gullies reaches more than 100! the amount of distance i covered..? dun ask... everyday wake up early, come back tired. and the spiritual struggle of reluctance to spend time with God at the end of each day.
But thanks to God, i'm better now. resting on God's truth and assurance of His presence in every situation, all i need to do is to lean wholly on Him and trust Him.

Nintendogs is super cute! haha. i never knew why people buy nintendo Dual Screen just to play with dogs... until i tried it myself... it's not about teaching tricks, or walking the dog.. but really it's the part of you that just simply can't resist playing with a cute puppy! haha, even simply rubbing the dog and taking care of it is so rewarding.. i named my puppy Joy.. =)

yest brought my bro to visit City Harvest... not too many comments to prevent myself from judging them too much.. just wondering why there's a spelling competition and a drama which looks like those they have in schools, heart warming drama about father and son relationships, in the middle of the service? no relevance at all? hmm... is Chrisitianity more about self or about God?

today's service is cool... the least number of people i've seen in the sanctuary. haha, S&P filled up 1 row of seats only! lol... and the sermon was kinda short.. we ended around 1130am! then we were wondering... what to do? me, my bro, jeanshen, val, david, matthew, gwenda went bedok interchange to eat at this restuarant.. budget.. spent only 41 bucks.. haha.. my bro and i went back church and guess what... the whole church is locked! on a sunday at 2pm!!! lolz... now that's an uncommon sight!

-=P3ng=- | 5:39 pm

Saturday, June 17
Freewill. The Chance for Meaningful Love or God's flaw in creation?

Freewill is the reason we can make choices today. It is also the reason why we are in our current state. I remembered hearing that Freewill is either you have it or you don't. You can't have 99.99% of freewill. That's meaningless. When God created Man, God gave Man freewill, something that is distinct for Man. Like a computer only get to do what it's being told, without freewill, loving God will be meaningless...

yet, it is because of freewill, wrong choices are made everyday.Why give us to choose when we do not know what's good for us? Why give us choose when we tend to be stubborn and proud, ending up making the wrong choice? God's perfect creation ruined at a choice Man made to rebel against God willfully. Is it God's flaw in creation?

***
Personal Anger Against God

(*Allow me to vent my anger and thoughts. Been really troubled and annoyed lately.)
Why O Lord, You promised victory yet everyday I still find myself defeated? What is freewill that I can't choose to love You as I want to? WHAT KIND OF FREEWILL IS THIS THAT I HAVE TO STRUGGLE SO FREAKING HARD TO CHOOSE TO DO SOMETHING RIGHT OR EXPRESS MY LOVE FOR YOU? Why even when i do manage to do something i still have to worry and check if i did it with right intention and motive? If freewill is really FREE, then WHY CAN'T I CHOOSE TO LOVE THE GOD I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART? Why must i struggle so so much everyday just to let myself be devoted to the One i love?

O Lord, how numb i have become in the last week. How i became tired and totally drained yet again, wishing everyone would leave me alone. Why do i struggle so much just to keep You in my daily life, trying to speak of You or simply tell of Your wonders to others. How is it that my relationship with You can be close and yet so distant within a week? Where am I to find my peace? The world demands so much of me. Even I unawarely demands so much from myself. Where do I find strength to stand at the end of the day?

O Lord, i know You heard my cries and see my heart. I know my faith in You is not simply based on feelings nor on emotions. My God and King, let my lifesong sing to You. Let me learn to live each day leaning wholly on you and not on my abilities. Let me trust that You will carry out the works of sanctification in me and will bring it to completion in the day of Christ. Lord, help me to have faith.

-=P3ng=- | 10:27 pm

I NEVER KNEW YOU

21"Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter.
22"(S)Many will say to Me on (T)that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?'
23"And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; (U)DEPART FROM ME, YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS.'

(Matthew 7:21-23)

{That's the final great white throne judgment, and I believe that is a day when there will be echoing through the corridors of that judgment hall Lord, Lord, and echoing back the reverberation of His reply, "depart from me, I never knew you." People are deluded.
Listen, Satan is a liar, true? Satan is a deceiver and his ultimate deception beyond any deception is to make someone believe they're a Christian when they're not. Because if you don't know you've got the problem you’re not looking for the answer anymore. The day of judgment is coming, you'd better look at your life. }
-John MacArthur

-=P3ng=- | 10:16 pm

Sunday, June 11
Weaknesses within Strengths

It's scary to see even when i thought these were my strengths, it can actually be a weakness after all...

1) Peacemaker- I tend to choose not to confront people, trying to resolve conflicts as far as possible, always doing things mindful that people won't get angry with me for it.

However, i find myself being too Politically Correct. It becomes a burden for me because it becomes 2nd nature now to please others.. or try not to anger others as far as possible.. How can i ever stand strong upon the truth i know? If i let myself choose the easy way out and not offend ppl then I'll surely see myself running away from persecution..

2) Good listener- Perhaps this is partly linked to the 1st. I thought it's good that i can patiently listen to others, always willing to hear what others have to say.

However, i realised maybe it's just the superficial part of being polite. I really find myself totally no different from a hypocrite if i listen for its sake and not truly genuinely wanting to listen. and i guess for the other party it becomes very offensive if he comes to know =s

3) Task-minded/ Systematic - Good what.. Productive, get things done. especially when i suddenly have a lot to do, i'll automatically plan, and try to clear the to-do-list as fast as possible

however, it's like the 2nd one.. doing for the sake of doing, doing without love and to the best of my effort... especially for God's ministry.. i simply can't do things without love for God and love for His people...

God has been kind. He revealed this to me so that i can be watchful of myself... One word to live by for the week - to be Genuine

-=P3ng=- | 2:32 pm

Thursday, June 1
Only the Lord shall Judge -- inclusive fellowship?

1"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
Matthew 7:1-3

A slap on the face to all who live their lives as hypocrites, who do not walk their talk. This is the very teaching of the Lord! How guilty I am... i had thoughts, being self-righteous, thinking only I truly know God's righteousness, hence, i kept judging others in my heart.. even my actions sometimes show it though I dont speak of it...

Why? why like that? have i forgotten I'm nothing without the Lord? do i really think because of what i know of God I'm better than others? does sinning less make me more worthy for God?

"For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast" Ephesians 2:8-9

***
I've mentioned how being too comfortable can cause one to lose the purpose of fellowship.. there's also one more dimension... how that comfort affects others wanting to join...?

a fellowship of believers is meant to help one another center your life in Christ...what if the fellowship is too comfortable with themselves that if a new person trys to come in...but finds it almost impossible to click with the rest... simply because the rest just likes being in that small group and is not intersted in letting others in... ? It's always easier for a group to approach a new person rather than a person trying to squeeze his way into one... that's a fact!

is our fellowship guilty of this too? how many times have we caused the wrong message to be given to others? how many times have we stumbled believers, causing them to fall?

haiz.. the more i subject me and the things i do into examination... the more faults i find.. the more unworthy i find myself.. imperfection is part of all of us... we can ignore and seek pardon from our friends, accept us for being imperfect, saying it's who we are... try telling that to God...!
God, let me not fool myself and be content with where I am, but help me Lord to accept and acknowledge these imperfections, but help me Lord to continue to be sanctified.. as i continue on my road back to perfection... not on my own strength, but strength given by You...

-=P3ng=- | 10:07 pm