The Reason I Live is Christ

Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching; persevere in these things, for as you do this you will ensure salvation both for yourself and for those who hear you. (1 Tim 4:16)

Friday, February 24
Pressuring Myself

It's mad to do so.. Having such high standards for myself.. But i should know myself best.. Should i ever set a lower standard for myself, I know I'm not giving my best.. And that's not in line with my desire for the Lord...

How can i ever be satisfied with something lower.. When God set that standard - to trust and obey Him, to deny myself, to take up my cross daily, to follow Him, to be humble, to have compassion for others, to be Christ-centered..

Yes, expecting more from myself isn't wrong.. But what was I thinking trying to achieve it on my own... Who am I but a sinner, an imperfect person fallen short of the glory of God... Not only I set myself on doing the impossible, I'm making myself miserable, forgetting the true meaning of having a relationship with God, and worse become focused on works... God doesn't want us to work for Him, He wants to work through us..

I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me he can do nothing. John 15:5

-=P3ng=- | 10:15 pm

Sunday, February 19
Attitude/ Mindset

Becoming a Christian doesn't mean I'm not to be optimistic , or pessimistic . In fact, being optimistic or pessimistic is about perspective. But when we come to know the truth, it's just simply about understanding and trusting the Lord.

Understanding that everything that happens is in God's control, that God allowed it to be.

Trusting the Lord that "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

If we know that everything that happens to us is for our good that God knows what's best for us and we can trust Him because He loves us to a point He paid the price for our disobediences that deserved death, then we can look in all things with a correct light, rather than asking God, "Why me?" or thinking that God is punishing me, or that God left us. We can be firm in our faith and assured that God is with us until the end of time just as what He said, "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age" (Matthew 28:20)

That's something I learnt through last week after realising that I wasn't as troubled but made myself to think I'm very tired and that i shouldn't deserve what I'm going through then. Woe to me for who am I to say I'm not deserving of anything. When I've sinned against the Lord, and not deserving of His grace. Who am I to say I deserve better. Lord thank you for teaching me to be humble...

-=P3ng=- | 7:37 pm

Saturday, February 18
Fun Facts

I booked out from army camp on fri night. I was carrying my bag of clothes, wearing a shirt and jeans, black specs with quite long hair hoping to cut this weekend, and went into the my flat's lift. I greeted a stranger, and ask how was he, he said fine, and asked me. I told him i just book out from NS camp. He gave the stunned look.

I went to Emmanuel House this morn for Romans trail. I went to the registration, and they asked which church I'm from. After taking out the registration list, I pointed to him my name. After marking my name, he questioned, You are in NS? YOu don't look like you are in the army. I replied Thank You

During the Romans trail, we split into different groups. I was alone in the older guys group cos the other guys were either having the leaders' retreat or went for the session on fri. During discussion we broke into small groups of 3, the 2 guys with me had a surprised look when i told them I'm in the army..

Lol, I look young... But the things i go through in the army, the burdens and physical tireness that I've endured through isn't something you can see after all.. =)

-=P3ng=- | 10:26 pm

Re: Baptism

Peng, Your obedience to the Lord has always encouraged me alot. the same questions and respond was directed on me when I asked my parent if I could baptise. At that time I am also lost. Peng, what you need to do is ask, if your parents say only when you are 21, then so be it. Don't push it. I can understand your feeling and struggles. Peng don't worry, God knows your parent's hearts like he knows your's, he has his way in reaching your parents. Thoes statements they made could also be an entry point to their salvation one day.

your parents are very much like mine. those questions are so familiar. they are looking at Christianity as another religion, that's why they asked thoes questions. It's only when they can see that Christianity is more then a religion- (being the eternal hope for helpless people through an act of love from God saving us by his grace), they will not see why you are so pressing about the Gospel and what you believe. But they will see it one day when God's mercy comes on them and give them the heart to believe and understanding. We pray and pray and pray that God's mercy is on them and continue to be faithful in our testimony and love towards them. It's ok that you didn't get to baptise this time round, anyway 21 is not very far away.

Peng, with this i must say that I am greatly encouraged by your courage and obedience to God, continue to love your parents and cease the opportunity to show God's love in everyway. becasue It is the love of Christ that we are save and live to demonstate it. Sometimes to show them is more effective then to tell them.
Drop the subject, and wait for 21 to come. don't upset your relationship with your parents, that will close the door to reaching them.

I hope these will help you.

Romans

I've never been rushing to get baptised.. Cos up to now I still don't really know the significance (i'll find out from Romans tmr) So even if I'm 21, i don't think i would want to go baptise without getting my parents to approve. cos that would be no diff from the situation now. Especially when my greater concern is their salvation. i mean what joy is there to see my parents get separated from God on the day of judgement. Just pray that the hardness in my parents' hearts will melt as I continue to witness to them about God's love.

Peng

-=P3ng=- | 10:08 pm

Sunday, February 12
Stunned... At a Lost...

It started out as a relatively harmless question of can I be baptised... A few weeks ago while my dad drives me to camp, I asked and i remember clearly he said he just wants me to be more sure and says this type of things he has no rights to stop me... So rejoice, left my mom. I procrastinated a few weeks then after realising that many church members had been praying for me also, i see my own laziness and was partly ashamed by how i conveniently forget each time. So today i found the chance and asked....

Nothing has prepared me for what I'm going to hear... 1stly, they simply asked why is there the rush to get baptised... I simply replied.. Because by right believing and getting baptised should be together and only in our chinese 'culture' and current society that it gets separated... That wasn't good enough... My mom started comparing... about other Christians, asking why some when baptised must be forced to give 20-30% of your income, asking if there are ppl in my church not baptised yet, comparing with what she hears and see from others, comparing Christianity with them worshipping idols, even asking me what 'position' i was in church.... I was surprised on how not confident and poorly equipped to answer those questions properly! but that was expected and ok...

then my dad spoke.. he gave a straight No! if i ever want, do it after i'm 21.. I asked for a reason, hoping to catch him in his answer and find a chance to tell him a bit more about God. but he said as long as he has a say, he'll say no! and his reason is because he questioned the truth in the God i believe. If it's that real and powerful, can I pray so that they believe? (in my heart i said I've been praying for them ever since i come to truly know God that they know this wonderful God. and i wanted to say they'll eventually be saved because I THINK God has mentioned to me before.. but i wasn't sure.. i mean God didn't really say loudly to me YOUR PARENTS WILL BE SAVED.. i mean God's will is beyond my comprehension..) Then here's the best part.. he said (in chinese, i rephrase a bit) If your God is truly God.. I got diabetes, it's permanent.. If i'm healed.. I will believe! I'm even willing to give 2 years for that to happen!

Now how am I going to answer that! I was stunned.. Part of me wanted to say yes you will be healed. Nothing is impossible for God. But I didn't know if it's God will. I'm not God to say this will definitely happen.. rite? And i had learnt before, that when Jesus came down, He didn't want to be recognised and followed for His miracles but His teachings and about salvation from sin and eternal life! So i couldn't say YES YOU WILL BE HEALED... But still, why can't it be God's will.. If it's my dad's eternal salvation we are talking about, why wouldn't God choose to ignore when He went to such extent to save us... But God can also say He has the bible, me and other living testimonies to show to my dad His glory... so what am I to do?

Indeed, what am i to do... but to seek God Himself... and be still before Him.. I only pray God's will be revealed and God's will be done... My LORD, have mercy...just as You had mercy on me and my brother...

-=P3ng=- | 8:27 pm

Email reply for Answers In Genesis (AU)

I was asking to get names of Universities that supported creation science so that I can consider to go study in that Uni (i'm considering my future to be part of Answers in Genesis Ministry)..This email gave me much required insight to make my university decision after all =) thank God for that..

"There are 40 universities in Australia, and probably all of them are largely hostile to creation. Perhaps the Australian Catholic University and the Australian Defence Force Academy might be a bit more tolerant towards creation and creationists, but I would not count on it. We do know of a few individual creationist professors and lecturers at Australian universities, but they are in a very small minority. No Australian universities teach a course or degree in creation science.
We think the situation would be the same in New Zealand.

We would recommend deciding on a field of study first, and then choosing the university with the best reputation or facilities in that field. You could study the history and philosophy of science separately. And we would strongly recommend subscribing to our journal in addition to Creation family magazine. Our journal has cutting-edge creation-relevant articles from many fields of science.
All the AiG scientists are qualified in some specific field of mainstream science (engineering, geology, agronomy, microbiology, physics, etc.)—none of them have a degree in creation science."

How cool... Guess it's NUS Science for me after all... =) there's always space to do additional reading anyway...

-=P3ng=- | 5:59 pm

Saturday, February 11
Ringing In My Ear | Loving the Hard-To Love

Ringing In My Ear

Last saturday was Basic Main Range (BMR). It is where the trainees get to fire live rounds for all their big weapons ranging from the smallest 7.62mm machine gun to the 75mm tank rounds.. The sight was as amazing eye-opening cos during my course i didn't see tha tank fire. Now as an instructor, i'm assigned as a weapon safety and boy was I surprised at how poorly some trainees handled the weapon. Perhaps it was due to the pressure and 1st time handling such deadly weapons.. I had my own share of scolding them to get them aware of the safety issues..

So how did i get this ringing in my ear? Not sure when i got it but i know it's because i didn't put on my ear plugs properly then a tank fired.. Now I got a ringing in my right ear plus reduced hearing! I was quite worried when 5 days passed and it didn't get any better.. But thank God when He assured me my hearing will return but the ringing might be there much longer..

Strange as it is, i didn't feel as worried even if the reduced hearing is going to be permanent. maybe it's because it won't affect my relationship with God, or perhaps I haven't yet realise the problems that come with this reduced hearing. I began to experience the problems last few days during training though and it's really annoying having to say sorry and ask ppl to repeat...

Loving the Hard-To-Love

"By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:35)

How easy it is to love those who love us. But how is it possible to love those who are so undeserving of our love? When they don't appreciate. When they don't bother about you. When they considered you as something significant in their lives. When they come to you/ entertain you when they are seeking attention. when they always persecute you because of your faith, ridicule and make fun what the Lord of all creation... How is it possible? More practically, WHY BOTHER!

I'm sure we had our share of these thoughts before. I'm currently going through this, alone with God in my 'workplace'. Where do I find strength and patience to accomplish such an insurmountable feat? From knowing how God loved me. Since when I was deserving of God's love. Before I know God, I was already loved by Him. Before I even bothered about Him, He already chosen me to be called according to His purpose. Despite of my horrible sins and disobedience, He died for my sins and granted me eternal life with Him. He has shown me what His love meant. Now can I show His love to others?

-=P3ng=- | 10:08 am