The Reason I Live is Christ

Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching; persevere in these things, for as you do this you will ensure salvation both for yourself and for those who hear you. (1 Tim 4:16)

Friday, August 26
Technical Live Firing...More than just shooting bullets

Fire Mission Platoon!
HE/ WP
Charge 4
Mortar No. 4
Line 6358
Elevation 1300
At My Command
10 bomb platoon fire
20 sec
Report when Ready...

Lol, you might be thinking what the whole bunch of senseless information is about? It will appear Greek if u are clueless of what it is, let alone what it means... For me, if it's still foreign to me then I'm basically screwed for sunday's live firing...

On sunday I'll be having my mortar techincal live firing, aka i'll be loading and firing real mortar bombs! 3 bombs in total... lifting a 12.6kg bomb with only your thumb and middle finger and placing it and the opening of the barrel, then letting it go upon command and squatting down immediately after that... boom! Sadly, the bomb will explode so far away that i won't be seeing its effect... but hey when in life do you get a chance to do that! There will be 5 missions and I happen to be coordinating the 2nd mission.. Standing on top of the delta vehicle and giving fire orders and squatting right behind the mouth of the barrel... I was assured that I will feel the force of the impact right in my face... =s

time seems to pass again beyond what i can describe or comprehend.. Life in 2 worlds seems fast and at the same time slow and draggy.. Another week passed and I just had a taste of how outfield plt deployment is like... Being put in such outfield helps me to appreciate what i keep failing to not take granted for.. But thank God that through all these He showed me how things on earth can't satisfy what i seek for...

Yay, after so long, I'm gonna see my 11/03 classmates tmr... really looking forward.. but can't stay for the BBQ./.. oh well, that's my life.. =s

-=P3ng=- | 10:37 pm

Sunday, August 21
You lay aside Your majesty

You lay aside Your Majesty
Gave up everything for me
Suffered at the hands
Of those You had created

You took all my guilt and shame
When You died and rose again
Now today You reign
In heaven and earth exalted

I really want to worship You my Lord
You have won my heart and I am Yours
Forever and ever
I will love You

You are the only one who died for me
Gave Your life to set me free
So I lift my voice to You
In adoration

-=P3ng=- | 6:14 pm

Post Movie Feelings

Strangely, for once I felt lost having nothing to do... I had always complained about so much to do and not enough book out time etc.. And for the book outs since the start of the year, well I had been very busy.. with God's work and many other personal stuff... But somehow now much has been done.. and for the other stuff I don't feel like doing...

Reached home after church super early today... 130pm! usually i'm back in time for dinner! ripped a few cds i got from Romans to my comp then decided to watch a movie i just dl. A Cinderella Story. It's suppose to be last year's movie but that didn't matter. I enjoyed e story very much, simple fairytale story. Well, that's me i guess.. =)

But after that the book-in feeling began to sink in again... back to reality i guess.. can't wait for my trainee life to be OVER!

-=P3ng=- | 5:11 pm

Saturday, August 20
Local Singers, Go listen!~

Last week had lots of time to listen to my mp3 player.. Perhaps I was bit slow, wondering why my friends are all so crazy over Corrinne May... After listening a few times, I too was addicted to her songs.. Really very nice. =) Little Superhero Girl, Angel in Disguise are just a few

As for a chinese singer, there's Tong En... At first, i didn't thought much about it... But again, after listening through, there are also quite a few nice songs in her album... Big thanks to Romans for lending me her album =D

-=P3ng=- | 2:50 pm

The Calm before the Storm...

For the past 2 weeks, training has been minimum.. In fact, if there wasn't the SOC (standard obstacle course) , there isn't much training we had compared to the weeks during our trade and detachment phase... We had national day last week.. That week was filled with nights out, lectures in air-con audi, very effortless stuff.. Then this week was also very slack as we had internship... We went to 40SAR to experience what life in the unit was.. Because we went at the wrong time as they had IMT and was preparing for the range next week, most of the time we were led into the lecture room for "body maintenenance" (our new word for sleeping and slack time)

Praise God for the break? Why not, i thought... but somehow i felt very uneasy.. It's like the platoon phase is coming soon.. Our most toughest training are in the next 3 weeks.. Exercises after exercises, outfields, live firings... It's the same feeling as what Pippin from the Lord of the Rings mentioned "I hate to be caught in the middle of a battle. But standing here at the edge of one waiting for it to happen is worse.." SOmehow I questioned God why such extent of rest is given. Rest is what we all want. But too much of it makes one unable to adapt back to work. Haiz..

How prepared am I for the weeks to come? The end is near. Life of a trainee is coming to an end and before I know it, it will be over... FOR GOOD! Never in my life will I experience trainee life in military organisation again! Now that's some serious things to look forward to. Yet, the thought of having to go through 'hardship' again, having to be stressed out esp when for the mission I get the Platoon SGT appointment, little sleep each night, constantly tired and weary...I have experienced them all.. From past courses in SISPEC and BMT, even during my OAC I endured much worse. Yet, I find myself no longer possess that endurance, determination and perseverance.. Why I do not really know. Perhaps my mind is just too tired going through all these for so long.. haiz.. In the past I wasn't as negative and persismistic. Always take training very postively...

In such confusion, God always helped me. Remembering how He has guided me through all the past experiences was enough to make me realise why I should not worry. In all the tough times, God was there. From each tough time, I learnt to depend on Him rather than my own limited understanding and abilities. Even in the darkest storm He has carried me through.

So, why did I worry? Gee, I don't know.. It's human i guess...

-=P3ng=- | 12:02 am

Saturday, August 13
An Eventful Day

10th August 05

"Time spent at home is time wasted" My friend commented this when we were booking out from camp. I guess being in NS really changes one's view towards weekends! Only yesterday I realised how fruitful and enjoyable a day can be!

Met up with Romans, Porter & Minoru at Bedok then went to Leisure Bowl to meet up with the rest of S & P for our 'Annual' Bowling ComP! Lol, actually it is a session to have fun, esp for most of us the last time we bowl was last year! So much for being rusty! After the 1st game, my wrist began to feel the strain and fingers can't grip as well. So most of the time I dropped e ball (ouch for e ball and e ground =s) instead of rolling it... Nevertheless, I had a great time.. How not to? When S&P is such a fun group to be in =)

After that we walked along ECP to lagoon area and I find myself unwillingly on blades again...(I haven't finish learning it yet.. so still can't even balance properly) A few falls here and there, I really wonder how people can do it with such ease.. gee! Anyway, I did improve from my last try.. At least i can travel some distance... =p

Next was dinner @ the delicious-food-filled hawker center. Beef Kway Teow, smth that i'll always queue for everytime i go there.. Nice as always.. =)

The nite was cool and peaceful. We went to the jetty, hoping to catch a glimspe of e fireworks before ending the day. Thank God we did not wait in vain. Though it was small and far, it was still spectacular.

Then, e day ended as my dad came to pick me up and drove me back to the most northwestern part of SG where I continue my SERVICE TO THE NATION! -_-

-=P3ng=- | 11:48 am

Tuesday, August 9
The Future is Ours to Make

Happy Birthday Singapore! Yay, always enjoyed e sudden spring of liveliness in in the streets during this time of e year. Where everyone puts aside work and stuides and celebrate... This year somehow I felt left out of e celebration, as in so many things I wanted to do but e limited bookout time doesn't really allow me to plan much.. Oh well... Guess I must be thankful that at least I'm out here, and not in camp doing GUARD DUTY like the other 15 ppl in my course or performing duty for the NDP like e other courses..

I enjoyed praying for the nation through the 40-Day season book. This is the 2nd year I'm doing so. It helped me to think on e bigger picture, praying not just for my family and friends or myself but also for the neighbourhood, the leaders, the nations at large. God had been watching over our nation for 40 years and the peace we had been blessed with is simply divine.

"Ponder and Pray: Singapore has done well. Will we continue to do well in a spirit of righteousness? Will Singapore go down in history as the miracle that never ends? Or will she self-destruct because of unrighteous choices? Let's pour out our hearts to our Father in Heaven. Pray! The Future is Ours to Make --- God with us. God for us. God through us."

Doesn't mean that we are not political leaders we can't make a difference or care about national issues. Continue to pray for our nation especially in this crucial period where singapore is remaking herself!

-=P3ng=- | 10:15 am

Monday, August 8
Charlie and the Choc Factory!

Yesterday after street evangelism i went watch Charlie and e Choc Factory with my church friends.. Guess what when we got there, it was selling fast...since we didn't wanna wait for another whole hour plus, we decided on e front row seats... This is 1st time i went to cinema, bought e seats but sat on e floor! haha, it was more comfortable anyway.. and your legs can stretch anyway u wan!.. lol we are saying we could have a picnic in front! =p

I always like watching movies that can give u a good laugh.. Anyway, i really enjoyed e movie, though dumb but nevertheless very funny... it has an addictive theme song too u know...

Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka.... think you should hear it and sing along for yourself =)

http://chocolatefactorymovie.warnerbros.com/soundtrack/

-=P3ng=- | 8:12 pm

Saturday, August 6
Lost and Found

I was once lost. My heart hardened, my ears closed each time the gospel was shared. I accepted His existence, I respected His worshippers, but I never found the need to understand more. God had always been there talking to me, knocking at my door. But I couldn't recognise His voice nor bother to hear what He has to say. Then one day God called me. It wasn't through friends nor through His word, nor through understanding, but through God's calling I followed. I would never understand how God opened my heart that night but I really can't thank God enough for doing so. From then on, He slowly revealed what He has planned for me as I listened and followed His guidance. He brought me to Bedok Lutheran Church and into the fellowship of the youth memebrs. Then He began to teach me to understand the truth and revealed more of Himself to me and through many trials He showed me how i can trust Him.

Now today He has won my heart and I desire to love Him more each day. To the point where I'm ready to suffer for His name sake, even if I have to die. For I'm convinced that nothing in this world can separate us from the Love of God!

-=P3ng=- | 11:39 am

God teaches and guides

Lately, there had been many things affecting me. Whether it's attitude, thoughts, behaviour, I know I had struggles with my walk with God... The details are too much for me to write down here.. But I just very thankful that God is someone who truly cares about me.. He knows I had been struggling and instead of letting me sink back into my old sinful ways, He taught me and explained to me through His people. Of the many issues, He addressed them all through the reply I got for my reflection letter from Romans.. This is truly the wonderful God that has saved me.. Now He has given me a repentful heart as remember Him and His calling and re-commit my life to Him..

(Peng when Jesus look at these people he had compassion on them. We must have compassion for them too, cos they are blinded by the gods of this age.)

(Be careful Peng, our anger must turn to compassion and not judgment, so this will bring us to pray for each on of them, and show them truly who Jesus is by pointing out to them with love what the Lord have taught you and live them out that they might see for themselves. Eventually, God is watching, and let’s trust God that he knows what to do with these people.)

(…you must learn and pray that the Lord will cause you to understand that what you are going through is part of the entire plan he has for you to be who he wants you to be. It could also be a form of training for you to prepare you for greater callings in time to come. Never give up, because it’s only when we hang in there, there we can see God’s sovereign hand moving in and through our life.)

(You can only do this when you truly understand what you are going through now is part of God’s plan for you to build your characters and greater trust in him to work in and through you and the situations around you. He is watching and moving you to where he wants you to be, be patient and grow in his love and character.)

-=P3ng=- | 11:25 am