The Reason I Live is Christ

Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching; persevere in these things, for as you do this you will ensure salvation both for yourself and for those who hear you. (1 Tim 4:16)

Sunday, June 26
Pray For My Parents!

This weekend's bookout is bit short (less than 12 hours) cos I had guard duty on sat. Much i wanted to do I didn't again and this time i stayed at home to rest instead of going church. Turns out not going church couldn;'t be justified cos I wasted the time away.. Haiz.. Yup, there's always so much things and happenings i wish to blog but the lack of time doesn't permit so no choice i can't copy the posts i wrote in my notebook.. maybe another day..

I'm kinda looking forward to next weekend.. Booking out on fri, meeting an old friend, going to beach in the morn, inviting my course-mates to attend youth alpha(ppl who God had used me to testify, to speak what He wishes them to hear.) I managed to initiate discussions so thank God for helping and i managed to share the whole gospel to a friend to help him clarify his understanding of Christianity. Pray that God will continue to work in their hearts and reveal himself to them. lastly and most importantly is S&P's RTTP (salt and pepper report to the parents) it'll be a chance for me to share the gospel to my parents.. just praying that I'll be diligent in preparing what and how i'm going to share next sunday..

I'm keeping my hopes high as I place them in Jesus' hands. Praise God for all He's done..

-=P3ng=- | 7:40 pm

Saturday, June 18
The Sovereignty of God

while waiting for my turn to drive at the training shed, i took time to read Romans chapters 9-11. the message i found hard to shallow was this verse:
For he says to Moses, "I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion." (Romans 9:15)
At first my first thought was like wah.. so harsh. But God's spirit gave me understanding when He wrote:
But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? "Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?' "Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use? (Romans 9:20-21)
We as His creation should remember His place and power as our Creator. As a creator He does have the right to do what He wants. And that's good because our Creator is unlike any man or rulers we know, His character is with love and concern for us and plans out the best for us.

So acknowlegde His right as our creator and give Him glory and praise that He deserves and let's serve Him with humility always in mind.

-=P3ng=- | 5:11 pm

The Value of Life..

One of the main highlights of being in armour is the chance of driving armoured vehicles (not all are tanks...) After going through some basic safety and engine lessons, we find ourselves at the basic driving circuit where we'll drive our vehicle. I felt it was sooner than expected. I mean you are giving people with no driving experience to drive a 11726kg armoured vehicle and the only person guiding is standing at vehicle commander post at the center of the vehicle and the engine is so loud that a internal radio comms is needed to talk.. So surely it seemed a lot of faith to allow us to drive... esp overturning means disastrous and lots of $$...but nevertheless we drove.. and did fairly well.. it was an experience... esp driving it at night looking through a night vision equipment and all u see is green and your vision is limited...

During our 1st night driving the sky was constantly lighted up with streaks of lightning. (*before we drive we had to stand at the back compartment of the vehicle to observe and if your driver is rough.. well you know what it feels like to be in a rollarcoaster... ) i got the chance to be observer twice cos when it was my turn to drive.. the raido comms broke down and the sgt drove the vehicle back and i got to do again.. When i was behind observing, it just occured to me how fragile life could be.. I mean with the lightning and the driving, anytime my life can just end.. have i done what i wanted to do before i join God in heaven? am i aware of the limited time i have here on earth and the things i should do to tell others about salvation before i don't get a chance? Of cos, I'm reassured when I know that God has His plans and He'll call me onyl when the right time comes.. so just worry about serving Him and not wasting time away..

-=P3ng=- | 4:57 pm

Tests, IPPT, SOC (last week's post)

Life of a trainee here in SOA. Maybe the first week is a bit rushed but that's also a form of training i guess. For 2 consecutive nights we are spending our admin time studying for various tests. We're being loaded with information and given tests the next day. U may think what's there to study in army.. loads! There's a lot of memory work and procedures and safety precautions we are to remember as commanders.. so no choice loh.. Felt like being in school again.. =s And there's one special motivation for passing the tests -- you won't be confined during the weekends! That alone is enough to drive everyone to go all out to pass the tests. Here in SOA, it seems that we really have to work for our book outs. Thank God for His grace that helped me through my tests for i really wonder if i can ever pick up books and notes to study again! Interestingly for my course we need not do anymore route marches (cheers!) and no need for much running outfield, we got like extra SOC (standard obstacle course) lessons and IPPT trainings and PT lessons.. And now with the new OC, he added exercise every morn.. We have interval trainings (running and more running) on alternate days and intense 5 BX (basic exercises like push-ups) on the other days.. each lasts for almost an hour either before or after breakfast before any other training starts...

Annoyed and saddened, I wasn't careful with my landing when i leaped off one of the obstacles during SOC and I now injured my right knee. Everytime i apply pressure on it when sitting down or getting up, it hurts but thank God it doesn't hurt when i walk.. so i guess that's not too bad.

Now waiting for my turn to see the MO (medical officer). Hope my knee isn't serious.. =s

*1 week later*
Haha, thank God for His healing.. immediately the next day my knee was already better and by the weekend it was back to normal.. I was given 2 weeks excuse RMJ (running marching jumping) but I joined back in almost every training after getting my course commander's permission by tuesday..

-=P3ng=- | 4:17 pm

Sunday, June 12
God is just so interesting...

For just one weekend, I went to eat at 2 hawkers that I frequently visited during my sec sch and JC and waited for the same buses at the same bus stops that I did when I was a student!

On sat, I had cell group at Jean Shen's house. After cell, we went to Blk 85 hawker to have our supper (the place near AHS). Then, I went to the same bus stop I did for 3 plus years to take bus 17 home... That road itself brings back memories.. How Jovin, Shi Yuan, and Me always walk that route after our St John trainings..

As for today, after church, I went to eat at the hawker opp TJC ( my church is near TJC anyway).. Somehow I hadn't eat there for quite some time le.. Church always got something then our lunch is settled in Church for the past few weeks..

Anyway, it was interesting enough and I owe it to God for His perfect planning to allow me visit the different places.. Those memories make me compare how I've grown and how my life keeps on going without stopping.. I actually met my pri sch friend now at my course, after being separated for 6 years! haha small world? =)

-=P3ng=- | 3:54 pm

Learning to Accept rather than to Compare

One thing we as trainees love to do is to compare. We'll compare lifestyles, the place, the job, pay, training, standards, etc...

Recently, my friends and I are very focused and keen to compare almost everything here in School of Armour and SISPEC. On the surface it's nothing wrong. But for me, God made me realise that if I continue to evaluate, it may make me forget to trust God and His sovereignty over where He puts me in. Whether this place is better or worst, harder or easier, I must remember that GOd placed me here to fulfill His purpose rather than come here to get the best lifestyle or course in the whole SAF. In the light of this, I should be more willing to accept anything that comes along and be more focused on God's work.

-=P3ng=- | 3:40 pm

A Look at the Past

Monday 6th June 05 1504h
Inside Storeroom (SOA/STW)

Part of the reason I started blogging or kept a diary was having it as a record to look back at in future. I was viewing through my september/ october 2004 posts. Life back then was really different. The times when I struggled to study, posting every single idea, thought or anything interesting. My posts then were more interesting and though-provoking compared to the posts now that were mainly about struggles I'm facing in NS. I mean NS is tough but not THAT bad. I just gotta discard this negative mindset and find back my positive attitude back.

Anyway, I'm posted to a new area now, School of Armour. And in it I got the best course - mortar commander course... For once, at least, I got something that is not the worst like Charlie 2 in BMT and Echo in SISPEC. I agree that tough trainings bring about a lot of benefits like close bonding about my section mates but I'm very thankful that I got a break from all that. Not that my course is super slack, it's just that it's more technical based and seems a lot more fun. I mean driving an APC and firing a 120mm Mortar.. What else more can i ask? Thank God for putting me here. At least no more route marches! Praise God for that!

Haha, speaking of slack, I'm not sure why but all of my course ppl now end up waiting inside this storeroom! (We are suppose to label equipments but we finished that within 15mins. Now everyone is dozing off!) A 3km orientation run is coming up later. Hope my body hasn't rusted yet and that my heat rash doesn't cause me too much problems.. Hmm that's all for now...

-=P3ng=- | 3:27 pm

Sunday, June 5
Struggles - A Part Of Life

Was thinking about it for sometime and I was reminded of a lesson I read in a book. "Life is never gonna get any easier, so don't expect it be so" I guess it's really human nature to always look at the near future, thinking that after i reach there, life will be much better for me. Whether it's leaving school to work, getting that degree, getting that good job or post, or even marrying that right person. Most of the time we always say that the grass is greener on the other side and always fail to appreciate what's around us. I'm guilty of this too. Throughout my JC life studying, I can't wait to go into NS, hoping to get away from tests, exams, books and notes... Now I just can't wait to go back studying, hoping to get away from all the physical 'torture' though I must confess NS is really interesting and lets you experience things you'll never ever get a chance in the civilian life.

Back to the main pt, struggles are really a part of life. Whether a Christian or a non-believer, young or adult, all will face this somehow. Of course nobody likes to go through difficult times but we know there's no escape from it in this imperfect world.

As a Christian, I've experienced much struggles standing firm in my faith and holding on to God. God made struggles to build us so that we can learn to depend on Him, so that He'll build our character, so that we'll seek Him, so that we'll have a closer relationship with Him. I'm thanking God for all my struggles, big and small, for all of them made me to become who I am now. And I'm certain that all that I've experienced are just to prepare me for what's ahead and life isn't going to be smooth sailing. But because of all this I've been through, God proven Himself to be faithful. He has been there to help me always and I can testify to that. Praise God.

-=P3ng=- | 8:31 pm

Saturday, June 4
A Non-NS Post =p

So thank God that i got a long weekend! But i found my old self back... I'm still unproductive! Haha, struggling with doing things i really want to do and playing comp isn't something foreign to me. Guess I must plan every day given to me properlyso that I will not waste my time!

-=P3ng=- | 12:59 pm

This was the one that brought more trouble and unwanted attention than any pride or joy it suppose to bring. Nevertheless, whatever glory I'm giving to God for it was He that gave me by abilities and helped me through the course. Glory be to God

-=P3ng=- | 12:55 pm

Peng’s Reflection Letter – May 05

Holding on to God

For me, the month of May was term 2 of the basic section leader course in SISPEC Echo Company. The 4 weeks had been a rollercoaster ride for me with slow and slack periods and very fast and thrilling periods and periods where I really had to hang on tight.

When term 2 started it was at a very slow and relaxed pace. God has blessed me with a Christian friend and a small fellowship. Both of us agreed to wake up earlier to meet up every morning before fall in to share and pray. At times we manage to get others to join us. Thank God for the discipline and that desire to seek Him. For every morning without fail it is a struggle for all of us to sacrifice 15mins of sleep especially when the previous day we had tough trainings. Through the sharing we managed to share our own experiences and struggles and encouraged one another to push on. Thank God for everything. It was this period I found much purpose and closer to God.

The last week of May was the defence exercise Nutcracker – the highlight of term 2. In short, it is an exercise where I have to dig trenches and shellscraps, go for missions and stuff. By itself, the exercise was tiring enough especially for my company; we are expected to dig throughout the night and only sleep when we finish (of course that’s impossible within such short time). I really thank God for sustaining throughout and giving me the strength to endure through the whole exercise. According to my officer, this nutcracker is the worst among the 6 batches he took. Throughout the 3 days it rained twice (both before dawn) and it really poured down hard. I was shivering in the cold, cuddled myself, pants soaking wet and muddy; it was dark and I haven’t slept for the whole night. That feeling was really horrible and all I wanted to do is try to sleep and let it be over soon. And twice I had to endure that. But thanks be to God for the rain really brought out the real person in all of us and for me it taught me to hold on to God and find comfort in Him.

The 3 days before passing out was the most ‘happening’ period for me. Being troubled by my heat rash that I got from the Nutcracker, I was preparing not to go for the 32km route march by reporting sick. I was about to do so when somehow God made it known to me that I should do the 32km route march. And because of this sudden change in decision that I had to go through much scolding from my instructors, (esp my company sergeant major who as always is unreasonable and sarcastic), and I was even asked in front of the whole company by the 2IC (2nd officer in charge of the company) why I suddenly changed my mind. Of course he caught me dumb-founded because I couldn’t expect him to understand God told me to do so. There was much more to what has happened and putting it down in words is quite hard for me. But throughout the time leading to the 32km route march, I had never held on to God as tight as then. I found strength in trusting Him and that He will help me through since He wanted me to make that decision. I found comfort in Him when I was confronted by so many problems. Though I found it hard to keep myself away from worrying too much, God kept reminding me to have faith and trust Him. I’m just glad now it’s all over and thank God for His faithfulness and being there for me.

Through this experience, I came to know God even more and found new understanding to the verse “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who’ve been called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

-=P3ng=- | 12:47 pm

Wednesday, June 1
Ok , maybe a simple update

I giving myself 10 mins to write this post... Ok, so maybe this wouldn't had happened if i followed the time Ive planned... and not played Battle for Middle Earth for so long..

Anwyay, just some updates... I just finished my 10 weeks BSLC (basic section leader course)...And I got Platoon Best.. Not sure how I get it though but thank God and glory be to God for He is the one who has been there for me all the time. I'm being posted to school of Armour, together with almost 80% of the whole 35th BSLC batch! Somehow Armour really lacked ppl huh... Anyway, many of us are happy... Simply because we are OUT OF TEKONG! REJOICE.. ok after that now worry cos school of armour is at somewhere at the west of SG... Now that's bad for me cos it's a 45mins drive in a car and who knows how much longer by public transport.. =s

Ok, for the past few days before and after the 32km grad march (i didn't complete it) there were many problems and it was so bad i felt as if my world really fell on me and I'm left with no choice but believe and hold strongly onto my faith so that I do not wavier at the choices God guided me to make... The Christian life is not meant to be smooth sailing and more often than not we have to make difficult choices and trust that God good purposes wil prevail though we may be baffled by the whole situation...

Be still, Trust God, that's smth i find it hard to do each time, perhaps it's just my character to wanna do smth when things come along... Ok time's up, going for a quick shower and sleep.. Who knows what's gonna happen tmr... So exciting haha............. rite.....

-=P3ng=- | 10:50 pm

Going to school of Amour...

Much has happened over the past few days.. Can't spent time to type for now, gotta pack..

Even if my world may fall, Lord you know I'm living for Your glory!

-=P3ng=- | 9:57 pm