Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching; persevere in these things, for as you do this you will ensure salvation both for yourself and for those who hear you. (1 Tim 4:16)

Friday, November 26
Leaving for Thailand

With only hours before my flight, I resting at home while my friends are at tamp playing soccer and stuff... Things seem to happen so fast for the past few days... Before I can take some timeout, I'm packing my bag and keepin all my notes... So much things i wanna rite, the feeling is weird... Just can't express it... Just a week ago I was playing World of Warcraft, preparing for my exams... Now the mood is totally different... And I'm still trying to get used to my highlighted hair... Wonder if it really was a bad choice to highlight it...

Anyway, think i'll post my new hair and other mission trip photos here after i get back.. I must really thank everyone who is praying for the trip... May the Lord guide us through the trip and May His will be done...

Prayer Requests:
-Pray that we can continue with our mission trip without much hindrance. (Possible problems may be the Avian Flu and social unrest)
-Pray for safety and good health for everyone going - that we can adapt to the change in surrounding and that we can be in our best condition when doing God’s work
-Pray for good weather conditions throughout the trip
-Pray most importantly for God to open hearts to the Gospel, and opportunities to share the gospel to non-believers
-Pray that God will strengthen the faith of the youth believers in Thailand and that His ministry will reach deep into Thailand.

I'll be back soon... U can always check the countdown at the bottom of this blog... =p Byee!

-=P3ng=- | 3:45 pm

Sacrifices

Not that I'm not prepared to make them, just that I didn't expect to let go so much...

Yesterday was my last paper for A levels and these are the msg I received:

Jarrod @sj:
Hey guys.. Tml farewell party.Maybe can use this time to relax and gather since its after exams le. Venue: AHS Time Start:dunno Time end:notsure Hope to see ya!

Wei Yang @tj:
Hey, feeling weak and bored after As? come to the guys outing tml! the starting point is at tamp interc at 1230. Lunch and dinn included. Bring extra change! xy

Xuan Yu @tj:
Hey anyway ps, if u got time tml, feel free to join us.... our schedule can be flexible and will play frisbee when u come haha

Geez, i guess the msg speak for themselves... I so long to see my old SJ friends, not to mention play sports with the guys in my class... Haiz, guess it can't be helped...

-=P3ng=- | 3:34 pm

The Tower of... Notes !?!

Hehe, I have been wanting to do this every since last week... With so much paper and notes, I wanted to know how high it all can stack... Well, I was quite disappointed then it didn't even reach my head but I guess that's really too much.. =p

So ladies and gentlemen.. I present to you my very own tower of notes/workbooks/revision guides.. This is what you get at the end of 2 years... =)

Comments about the subjects:
General Paper -- The reason why this subject exist is because Man choose to have his own judgement and disregard the perfect standard of God... Why do you think we got such a hot debate over straight forward issues like homosexuality or abortion!

Physics/ Chemistry/ Maths -- I find more pleasure studyin this few subjects.. I'm studying something that is perfect.. Studying what God has created... Everything falls so perfectly in place.. All principles obey laws and logic... Praise God!

Economics - The reason why this subject even exist is because Man has unlimited wants but limited resources -- In simple words, Man are never content. Greed drives this topic. Isn't it? The reason we need to have Govt policies and stuff is to improve welfare and standard of living...

-=P3ng=- | 10:31 am

If you are wondering exactly how high this is.. It reached my waist! To think I've went through almost every page in detail, memorising, practising, studying...

-=P3ng=- | 10:29 am

Wednesday, November 24
One Road Ends, Another Begins, And Takes You To A Better Place...

Indeed, the ending of physics paper 3 was really a closing of the 12 years of studying in my life.. Ok, so maybe there's still paper 5 tmr.. but well a conclusion bah...

Anyway, this transition is going to be rather hurried for me... Whatever time-management skills I've learnt I must put into practice. Sacrifices have to be made... Preparation for the Mission trip this friday have to come 1st.. I'm also going for a hair cut on fri... There just too many things to do.. I won't talk much... Just let the things come and pray all is according to the will of God... I must say.. Thank God for bringing through this torturous month.. I just couldn't thank God enough.. =)

-=P3ng=- | 11:42 pm

Sunday, November 21
Games that brought me thru my A Levels!

Weird to be posting this... When I'm suppose to study, not play... Well, if only the Open Beta for World of Warcraft were a bit later.. I'd have enjoyed the game a lot more.. I posted screenshots of the games and my characters! Whoo!

Anw, the end is coming... I can already feel the stress of packing within 1 day and choinging off the Thailand the next day... Today was the comission sunday(or smth.. i forgot what it's called). We went forward and had the church council and pastors to pray for our journey.. In the midst of preparing for the dances, songs, and skits... I seem to have degelected my studying for econs paper 1 and 2.. The mood is gone..

Now, I'm just more willing to blog then to touch my econs TYS.. Bleaxh.. Sigh, better get back to work..

For my friends who regularly visit my blog.. Expect a complete change for my blog! Soon... after my last paper.. Just wait patiently like I am..

-=P3ng=- | 9:36 pm

The 1st 2D MMORPG (Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game) I've played! Simple, cute, a game worth to try if u really can't find anything else to do.. The reason I played.. Well relieve study stress? =p

-=P3ng=- | 9:35 pm

Say Hi to my very own character! A lvl 18 Archer... Those were the days when I partied with my bro, playing side by side with his warrior... He's still playing.. Not me.. Don't see any point to it.. =p

-=P3ng=- | 9:32 pm

This is the 2nd and much more exciting game that accompanied me thru my 'A's. I did not take a pic of the log-in page but the background pic is the same as this one =) WOnderful Game! A Must-BUY if you have the time to play! (Unfortunately, I'm always too busy... Sigh..)

-=P3ng=- | 9:28 pm

This is a jointly-trained character by my bro and I (Ok so maybe he played a lot more than I did) He is a lvl 12 Gnome Warlock.Cute Rite? =p Notice the Viodwalker beside it? Well, we got it after a tough quest but only had it 1 day before the beta closed (see the yellow texts can see the Beta is about to end during the screenshot)

-=P3ng=- | 9:24 pm

Friday, November 12
-=The Finish=-

It has been a rollarcoaster ride for me over the past few weeks. Most of it comes from struggles through self-conduct and as I look back, I see my imperfections in many areas and dreaded I allowed them to be. With only ten days left, I wish to see myself sprinting towards the finish. Yet, somehow I can't find myself being able to do so. Distracted by games, procrastination, laziness, I long to be as hardworking as some of my friends are. I keep finding myself in situations saying that I could have done better or have put in a lot of effort. Studying isn't really that horrible. Once I get the mood right, it should be ok. Yet I allow distractions to walk in and out freely. Many times I look at myself, thinking... How serious am I? How much I wanna do this? Have I done my best?

Looking ahead, I can finally see the "FINISH" banner just ahead. I see all the things I will be doing after I finish. I dream about them. Seeing myself being joyous and laughing in all the fun I'll have.

Among all these I'm going through, I thank God my relationship has grown deeper. He becomes my every need and my comforter in times of distress...

I'm not sure if I'll be posting for the busy week to come.. I thank everyone for viewing my blog.. I'm quite encouraged to see my site hitting 1000... =) And I do hope how I've lived my life has touched you or helped you in one way or another..

For now, I'll leave this blog with this beautiful song.. Till my next post.. It's a full sprint from here onwards...

Lord To Love You More

Lord,
To love You more is all I want
To hear You speak into my heart
To be consumed by You again

Fixed my eyes on You and draw me near
Let all distractions disappear
I need You even more today

___ Jesus side and overwhelmed by all Your love has done
And all I want to say is that I adore You Lord
I’m humbled by the grace of God
You meet my every need
And Jesus You will be always my greatest Love

(__==> Sorry I can't seem to make out that word...)

-=P3ng=- | 9:54 pm

Wednesday, November 10
Too Much Time/ Too Little Time?

After realising I've been 'trapped' in my house for too long.. As in, my body is aching for a proper jog... It feels like there is this energy trapped within me and it feels very uncomfortable...

Anyway, jogging to the park has been my way of getting away from e world... I guess I really should not have procrastinate my trip to e beach to rest and reflect... Cos it's always good to slow down, look back, see where u've gone and where u are about to go... And it's a great time for me to observe and think... I like to think/ ponder about all sorts of things when i run...

With so much thoughts, I thought this one is quite meaningful... It's about how you spend time... I was reflecting on why I was in the same situation for both A levels and Prelims--i keep finding myself with so much still not studied and wonder where all my time has gone... That feeling was very strong... I really wished i could turn back time.. and spend my time the right way all over again..

Then, it occurred to me how familiar this was... I guess now I can understand how people felt when they are at the point before their death, wondering why they had not spent their lives meaningfully... It must have been terrible. I guess we all at times take life for granted. People say live life each day as if it were your last. I wonder how many can do that. How many of us find ourselves so busy at times you can't wait to be given more time, then when you find the time, you just waste it away by slacking or doing smth pointless?

If you are reading on hoping I'll come up with some revelation or solution, I have none.. I too am a victim. For me, I just keep reminding myself who I'm living for, and my constant pursuit for a meaningful life......

-=P3ng=- | 7:47 pm

Tuesday, November 9
Lessons--- Remember them, they might save you a day...

Only 4 papers have passed, and I can't thank God enough already... Today's paper couldn't been done so wonderfully without His guidance... sitting there for 3 hours doing maths isn't really an easy task.. And halfway thru I felt as if my head is gonna split.. I got a slight headache (partly due to the tough questions...) and neck felt rather stiff... Until a point where my concentration totally gave way.. I decided i need i rest.. the best way... a walk to the toilet.. haha..

Doing the maths paper reminded of a lesson I've learnt from my instructor back in OBS (outward bound singapore)... There was once we were playin the entangle-hands game.. My team wasn't doing well... Then most of us were frustrated... Then we were told to take a break... then after looking at the puzzle again, we managed to solve it.. My Instructor used it to tell us, if u really can't solve a problem, take some time off, then relook at it again.. You might tend to see it differently.. Well, this lesson helped me in maths... =) but i guess it'll come in handy someday in the future... =)

Thank God I can do nearly all my maths questions!

-=P3ng=- | 9:36 pm

Monday, November 8
Reflection...

Today did not turn out badly after all... but why couldn't i see it? It seems that when negative thoughts start to manifest, they cloud the logical side of the mind, causing it to be misguided by its deadly extreme thoughts... Sigh, it seems the reason I'm facing this is simply because I'm not submitting my all to God.. There is still this tendency for me to always try to handle situations by myself, thinking about what I can do, what limitations i face... i seldom will trust God completely with matters..

I find myself very prone to depression when the cause is my health... All those who know me will know that they had never seen me depressed before.. Not till recently.. when my health is getting worse.. Maybe it's rest, but i think it require healing beyond my understanding.. it's weak.. and when my physical state is down, my mind gets tired easily.. and weakens... thus becomes a open target for negative thoughts to slowly influence it.. I dun think fighting it will be of any good.. as in pitting my mind against the negative thoughts will only tire it out and make it worse... I must learn to turn to God.. and allow Him to heal me according to His way.. cos i'll tend to demand healing when my body makes me feel like i'd rather die...

I guess I still have many flaws, but I'll pray my relationship with God will not be affected thru all these...

-=P3ng=- | 10:15 pm

Sunday, November 7
Mental Breakdown...When all is too much for me to bear...

I'm writing this post with tears watering in my eyes... I.. really do not know what to do... I seek relieve for such pain I'm feeling... God how i wish I'm with you... No one here appreciates what I do for them.. No matter how sincere, how friendly, how willing I present myself before Man...

My current situation:
Tmr is my chemistry paper 3... I am planning to do quite a lot of last minute revision.. What the hell, I don't know why I don't seem to find time to study...
I'm feeling terrible.. My physical state is horrible.. Tired, sick, my chest is giving me problems again...
I just had a quarrel with my Mom. I had always been tolerent.. Always trying to show that God has changed me.. But they always pushes me to my limit, make me get irritated, frustrated, annoyed.. Why can't she just learn to...

I'll continue tmr...

-=P3ng=- | 8:49 pm

Friday, November 5
Distracted... Disappointed... Dismayed

Haiz, of all times, why now! If u know me as a friend, u'll know I always talk about gaming is a waste of time.. To me, I don't see the point to it at times.. Despite my previous stand, I actually signed up and created a character in maple story... thinking that maybe i should channel my lesiure somewhere so that I can be more effective.. i was dead wrong.. and i regret terribly.. Now i can't seem to summon any strength to stop playing, or stop thinking about playing and concentrate on my studies... It's only a few more weeks... Finally the end is within sight... Yet why am I still distracted! Haiz, just feel terribly disappointed.. I always tot i might have self-discipline.. But it's not whether u have it or not... It's something u have consistently put in effort to achieve... Grr... Stop posting here... Start working... AHHH! CHIONG AH!

-=P3ng=- | 11:14 pm

Thursday, November 4
The Opening Paper/ 1st Year in Christ

A special day with a special surprise... Didn't expect myself to do a religion essay question again after scoring a low 24/50 during prelims.. but when i flipped the question paper over, I nearly let out a "OH!" My eyes were fixed on question 11:
11. Discuss the importance of religion in society today
my prelim question was "Do you agree that religion serves no practical purpose but to give men hope?"
Sheesh... At 1st, I tell myself, i cannot do that question. I started searching for other possible options but I guess God did not place the GP paper on this special date for no reason at all - the same day last year, I accepted Christ.
So having gain some experience in knowing how to tackle the question properly, I decided on writing it in the end... Maybe also because I know that if I were to look back on this day, I would wish i wrote this question...
This is the main points of my essay anyway:
1. Religion provides purpose and hope
2. Religion provides guidance to individuals and their deeds
3. Religion guides leaders in making difficult decisions
4. Religion losing importance as Science and Technology overtakes
5. Problems arising from no proper guidance

Of cos, I'm not expecting any good grades from this essay, but I'm very satisfied with it... =) Thank God!

-=P3ng=- | 4:24 pm

Wednesday, November 3
GP - Another perspective

The mentioning of this subject usually turns many off... In this world where literary culture is being overtaken by visual culture, where the accurate use of the language has lost its importance among the youths (short-form sms, ignoring grammer or sentence structure), it's no wonder why many of us find difficulty in grasping a good command of the language.

I was preparing for my GP papers tmr, and boy was I dissappointed. For the past 2 years, I've failed to realise the... ahem beauty of it? Well, bascially, this subject offers more than just good command of the language. It allows the discussion of topics taht are very interesting and involves a lot of thinking on the readers' part. (I'm talking about the comprehension) I mean, u don't see other subjects covering such a wide range of issues such as Globalisation, Government's control over the country's media, Visual Culture vs Literary culture, and Mercy killing and lots more... It allows us to pay more attention to trends, issues, or grey areas in society that doesn't have clear-cut lines to say what's right or wrong. Take abortion for eg. Why can't it be justified if it was a rape case and the girl is only in her early teens.

Of course, the language skills must be there to allow these debates and analyses. GP is also interesting because you can't really study for it. So those critical thinking and evaluation will have to come in. If I were given more time, I would love to read through all e other JC's prelim compres... I said reading thru... Doing it is a torture... =)

-=P3ng=- | 9:52 pm

~Updates~

Well, honestly, there hasn't been much going on lately... Or should I say nothing much to write about... With time becoming a scarce resource with each passing second, it is no wonder I find myself keep trying to push into overdrive mode. I was advising my brother to plan a timetable instead of wasting his time away on comp and realised how different our timetables were. Here I'm trying to squeeze every hour out to study, hoping that my mind and body can take it, while there he is allocating 2.5 hours to each session of "play"(he has about 3 sessions per day)... Sigh...

The only thing I would want to post about would be called "The advent of consumer culture vs the advent of Christ Jesus" It would be about how Christmas has totally gone out of meaning, becoming a 'festival' for businessmen and corporate companies to prosper. The "joyous" occasion becomes their strength in raking in huge profits.. From the Largest Xmas Tree, to an ice-skating arena... where is the birth of our Saviour in the midst of all these?

-=P3ng=- | 5:41 pm