Tuesday, August 31
It's always one of these days where I'm stuck whole day at home, trying to follow a timetable i made to complete my preparation, that i forget about God... It's those instance where I don't really seek Him or thank Him..
Tired, frustrated at my progress, i wonder if i can finish what i intended to prepare... With the time ticking away... I really doubt i can study that much... So many distraction, feeling so lack of discipline... Guess i can't really study at home.. And worst part is my body aches, longing for a jog... Thankfully we're playing badminton tmr, then can vent all my anger at the shuttlecock.. =p
Anyway, it's these times where prayer is important... Thank God He's there.. Maybe it's time i should not focus solely on my own abilities to study but to turn to God for help and for peace...
-=P3ng=- | 10:08 pm
Monday, August 30
...These photos sure bring back memories...
-=P3ng=- | 10:49 pm
-=P3ng=- | 10:48 pm
Weird isn't it...? when i mention i nearly forgot i came from AHS...? when i spent four long years in it... how was it possible...?
I was packing my cupboard this mornin.. (managed to clear a lot of stuff though), and boy was i amazed at how much things i've forgot i had... Letters from fellow squad mates, encouragments for our zone and national comp, presents, photos, even communication network... those where we use our house phone call each other to pass down the msg when handphone wasn't widely used... those were the days...
Memories poured continuously as I begin to recall the trainings we went through, the projects we did, farewell party, and our chinese new year dance performance... indeed, those four years cannot be forgotten... Thank God I still have all these to help me remember...
There is one photo that amused me... (the post above...)
If u can't recognise me, i'm the one in the center... Notice i was the only one who couldn't cross the bar...Haha, I remember i was the weakest among the team...Now, not that i wanna show off (serious), but it's amusing that i can do more pull ups that the rest of them... hehe =p
Those were the fun days... priceless memories i would say... sometimes i really would pray that God will help me record my whole lfietime down... So after my life end, i can watch it again... =)
-=P3ng=- | 9:42 pm
Sunday, August 29
This shall be my next goal to strive for... to be a credible person... simply cos it's very desirable, it reflects a person's character and it also affects a person's image...
Main Areas to tackle:
1) Honesty
- Being truthful in my intentions and words
2) Accountability
- Being responsible for my actions and my words
- Do not push blame to others when it's partly mine to bear
3) Walk the talk
- to really do what I say I will
- especially what I've learnt in church
4) Punctuality
- not to be late, whenever possible, whatever reason it may be
- when I'm late, I'm late
I think that many of us face these problems but we simply compromise or take it too lightly... I wrote out this aim is because this is attainable. All this requires only lots of discipline, not knowledge or skills can help you in this. And what makes this more important is to realise how difficult it is to get people to trust you and your true intentions nowadays.. By building up this credibility, it also allows us to share the Good News to others easier...
I'll be working on it... If you accept what I've just said, make this your challenge as well... We need more credible people out there you know...
-=P3ng=- | 7:28 pm
Saturday, August 28
Hmm, was thinking about it and thought it'll be good to note it down... then next time can refer =p Let's see...
-A faithful follower of God (most preferably cos it's good to have someone to share my faith with)
-Another top on the list will be to really love me (Love as in understand what love really is and not those love that is based on emotion and feelings which as we know dies over time...)
-This means selflessness and commitment... The idea of willing to give and not expecting to receive...
-This also includes showing love and kindness to others besides me as love is not selfish nor selective
-Someone who supports what I do, does not doubt or discourages me
*Of course when I came up with this list, I did consider that if I'm can do all those above...
A problem with the new generation is that they tend to have huge expectations from their lovers, especially girls. No offence but for me i personally notice girls have very high expectation as to how romantic their boyfriends must be, or how rich or what sensitive new age guy stuff...
*Most of the times I just shake my head, wanting to drive it through their heads that Love isn't about what you will receive from others. Sometimes they ask for the stars when they can't even reach the moon themselves. (Lol, i must defend myself here... I'm not referring to everyone... Of course a sweeping statement cannot be made... Just my impression of some girls)
Of course I do have a few trivial stuff in my list (but as i say these are just what i seek):
-gentle but enjoys outdoor activities =p
-well-mannered, sweet
-someone who doesn't keep things to herself, or bottles up feelings...
-Not an Attention seeker... (I've very few things i hate.. this is one of them...)
-someone that is not of bad influence.. (cos I realised I'm very easily influenced by people... Not as in good deeds or bad deeds... but as in interest, likes & dislikes)
Of course I hesitated when posting this but I thought there's no harm to do so... So why not? For this post... Don't comment can? Thanks...
-=P3ng=- | 10:08 pm
Friday, August 27
This is a bird's eye view of TJC. The far end is the sea, the bottom right is TJC
-=P3ng=- | 8:39 pm
Today is the second day in a row where I planned to go Church to study but end up studyin in school. For both days, God made this for His reasons and I thank God for doing so..
Today after a tiring game of soccer with the guys in my class followed by revision at the sports complex, I was heading home... There at the bus stop, I was joined by Mrs Goh who has just finished her evening jog and was going to fetch her son at Simei. Without much difficulty, we engaged a conversation... At that point, I did not treat her as a teacher, but as a friend.
She's a gentle, bit short and thin, but very active and approachable.. She has been in the teaching career for nearly 12 years. A mother of 2 sons 6 and 4 years old respectively, she is a simple lady with 2 goals in life... To take care of her family and to teach properly. She added that these 2 goals is enough to fill up her 24hours everyday...
Lol, I guess you must be thinking I must have interviewed her or smth... No, these are just smth i gathered from her in our deep discussion before bus 38 comes and closing our conversation within a few seconds... It's always interesting to find out about how others are living their lives... I mean, for a student like me, we only see the teacher presenting her lessons in class... To find out that teachers have a lot of backstage paper work and stuff, it reminds me of the busy life...
One thing I can sense is her passion for teaching and her happiness in her simple life.. Not as in always smiling around, but more of being satisfied with what she has... With teacher's day coming, it is really important to be thankful, and our class is really blessed with her as our Civics Tutor...(or Form teacher as they call it in pri and sec sch)
-=P3ng=- | 7:44 pm
Thursday, August 26
Time surely files... Everyday busy getting to lectures, trying to prepare for tutorials... Before you know it, the bell rings, ending another day at school... And so day by day, we get so hooked up in studying for our tests.... no one even have time to stop to reflect, let alone slow down our pace to look around...
Today I was given a chance to do so... My lessons ended early today, so i stayed back to revise in school... While I sat there having my lunch alone, I took time to look around... how others passed me by... Some busy finishing their lunch preparing to go back to class, others leaving the school gate (heading home to study i guess...) If you ask me, I'll say the daily routine has really held me for too long... That moment I felt like I’ve just "unplugged myself from the matrix" (i just find this idea very apt).. Anyway, it's always good to slow down... Makes you not so engrossed in the ways of the world.. Look around... admire at God's creation... (I'm very blessed to be able to see sunrise in school everyday... I'll post the photos when i got time...)
Sigh, after tmr I won't be using the timetable that I've been so using for the past half a year... Well, guess i better get back to my work and stop my dreamy state... Oh, find some time tonight, take a look at the moon... looks nice from my window here...
-=P3ng=- | 6:26 pm
Monday, August 23
Sometimes it just so happens that I got 2 different topics to talk about... oh well..
With the exams coming very close.. I begin to feel the reality of how short of time i am... Following my "ideal" timetable will be most ideal but that will mean fighting procrastination and laziness head on and conquering them. Of course in the past I don't easily emerge victorious but when being forced to do so under stress, sometimes it works... I can end up finding myself able to be very eager to study...
But that doesn't happen all the time.. Like today, somehow i didn't bothered about the tons of things i wanted to do and actually explored around my desktop and found a Scooby-doo 2 movie file I've downloaded and forgotten to watch... I wanted to take a peak to see what's it like... But end up watching the whole 1 hr 40 mins show... Time gone... just like that... sigh...
Apart from meeting with the expectation of a busy life... After coming to understand the ways of the world better, I noticed sometime very potentially disturbing.. My Dad, Mom, and bro are all busy with their own lives and communication and understanding is becoming a bigger problem as time goes by.. Maybe I am part of this, having packed timetables and can't really spend time with my family.. Something has to be done.. Instead of taking a backseat, I begin to try bring the family together, solve conflicts (if possible though most of the time they regard me as being rude but I'm learning to control myself and speak gently), and give support and encouragement whenever possible, ask about their lives, etc... Cos i thought I'm part of this family and I should not let my Dad take all the responsibility. His work has been troubling him lately... Pray it'll be fine..
Anyway, just wanna tell you if you are reading this: don't sit around and wait for things to solve by itself, pray and do something about it.. Cherish your families... If you recently had a conflict with any family member, be the 1st to apologise.. Hey, you can't be living with it for the rest of your life right?
-=P3ng=- | 10:17 pm
Sunday, August 22
It started with an sms invitation from Eng Hwee, my classmate from AHS also SJ sq mate. "Hey my church this weekend invited Hillsongs United to play for the service. Wanna come?" "Why not?" I thought. Upon further discovery, my enthusiasm took a plunge when he mentioned he's from city harvest church... I personally do not have anything against the church but somehow existing rumours had an negative effect on its reputation. But for me, I'll rather see it for myself and go with an open mind.
So I ended up rushing to pasir ris mrt within half an hour after waking up. (I forgot to set my alarm!) We took the chartered bus all the way to jurong west. Upon arriving, I was greeted by a very posh lobby which I can only associate with successful corporate buildings. I was even more amazed when I entered their 4-stoery underground auditorium. They even have a full cameramen crew. Their service and worship are wonderful with powerful guest speakers and good music... Well, what less can you expect from a building that costs 48 million?
Then, I thought to myself, "I'm impressed, so what? Is there a need for all these?" I mean like after all this, does it really work? I can't give an answer.. It's only fair not to judge based on 1 service. But what I can say is if they really bring that spiritual level they have during the service to their lives outside that place, then I will not doubt them.
Still, I'll go back to my basic belief. We all believe in one and only true God so why should we divide and separate ourselves and even put each other down. We should rejoice that all of us know God and praise Him. Though we must always be on a look out for false prophets and wrong practices and thinkings... (ok, i won't talk too much about something I do not know much on) I was amazed to find out about their mission trips that they hit a total of 103,000 salvations through their outreach concerts all over Southeast Asia and China. This number is big. Though it does raise some doubts, still...Praise God for their success!
A few points I've notice though... Due to their size, the "homeliness and sense of belonging" isn't as strong. And new visitors (especially non-christians like the one who sat on my left) find herself in a group of people speaking in tongues, then seeing people falling to the ground upon the touch of the speaker.. She must have been wanting to get out of this place which seemd like a cult!
-=P3ng=- | 7:11 pm
Thursday, August 19
As the week is coming soon to an end... great news came when the school announced that for year 2s, that next week shall be the last week of school term, after which we'll be going back for prelims 2 weeks later.. Of course everyone gave a sigh of relieve as finally the term is ending earlier.. For me, while i was glad finally i can focus properly on my studies ( i should have started revision long ago but nvm...) somehow next week seemed to have much more meaning to what people can see on the surface...
After a long 1 year and 8 months in this college, it suddenly occurred to me that another chapter of my life is going to come to an end... How real it was and yet I'm somehow still in my dazed state.. I thought like hey this 2 years in JC is so long and torturing, I should be happy I'm finally leaving here.
Well... I realised I wasn't... at least not totally... These 2 crucial years of my life had been very fruitful and happening and it had been filled with so much memories that I actually forgot at one time my life in AHS... I thank God that He had planned a wonderful journey through my JC life and I couldn't ask it to be any better...
One significant change of thinking I have (now that i know Christ) is that I no longer hold on so tightly to the past and the present in a way.. Back then, I'm always afraid to progress in my life.. Thinking that once my childhood is gone, it'll be gone.. I wanted to treasure everything i had go thru and of course i couldn't.. Now I'm willing to part with my past to move on with great optimism as I know when I leave this world, a better place awaits...
Still, before this chapter is complete, i've got to finish it with a nice ending.. Continue to live my life to the fullest so that i will not have regrets and most importantly... STUDY, i dun wanna extent this chapter of my life... 2 years is enough for me... =p
-=P3ng=- | 7:09 pm
Wednesday, August 18
"Words are like arrows, once released can never be taken back"
When was your last time you regretted saying something you shouldn't have said?
Did you wished you have not spoken instead?
From my experience, both extremes (speaking little, and talk a lot) are not ideal at all. There are times words of encouragement is necessary, in other cases extra criticism isn't necessary. Learning to strike a balance perhaps requires some EQ and social skills which can be picked up with experience. This has become increasingly important for me especially when we can't stay silent as we are to announce to the world the gospel of Christ.
Quantity and Quality always comes hand in hand. What you say is also very important. The bible warns us that though our tongue is a small part of the body, it can corrupt the whole person. Be watchful of what you say. (ref James 3)
Different phrasing of words and tone can meanings world apart. Craft your words and always be thoughtful of others. The world believes in speaking your mind. I do not say be dishonest. Understand that both of them are very different. But instead:
Speak with your pure and righteous heart.
Speak with good intention and you do not need to worry about what others think.
Speak to encourage, never to discourage.
Speak with your lips cleansed by God.
-=P3ng=- | 10:38 am
Tuesday, August 17
How weird and irritating it is... That I am now down with a running nose.. Weird because it had been really long since I've fallen sick... Maybe due to frequent trainings last time but now just sitting and studying.. But best part is I was thanking God that He has granted me a healthy body yesterday when my brother and Mom wasn't feeling very well too..
Anyway, guess i should go rest now... Geez, so many things to study... such a nice timing to fall sick.. =s guess I guess have to accept it..
(Doing chem practical, with a running nose isn't a pleasant experience, trying to keep the mucus in ur nose while titrating and QA, blowing it frequently doesn't help especially when your tissue sometimes gets dampened by the spilled chemicals... o_0? )
-=P3ng=- | 9:11 pm
Monday, August 16
A few mutiple ones... Couldn't really predict those very nice ones...So missed them =(
-=P3ng=- | 7:58 pm
-=P3ng=- | 7:57 pm
Yesterday had been wonderful... It started off rather early, having to prepare and wear formally.. (sheesh.. So ma fan gotta wear tie also...) cos it was my usher duty yesterday (1st time so more =p).. Then it was also my 1st time leading songs for youth sunday school.. Very cool, thank God all was well.. Especially when I can't really remember what I've said when leading songs...Hope it was what I planned to say.. =x
Then, it was rest and study... together with Lester, Shermaine, Hui Ting, Dazzlyn...
The day ended beautifully (literally) when I met up with my OAC friends and ate at Billy Bombers... then it's off to Esplanade... Due to our poor time-keeping, we were late... We ended up getting off the taxi in the middle of the road, and we were running to find a clearing as the fireworks boomed at the strike of 8 o'clock. The scene was wonderful... it's as if time had stopped for everyone in the city as they gaze up at the beautifully lit sky... I stood there admiring the beauty of it all, realising that it was my 1st time so near the fireworks display... It ended rather quickly and some of my friends said it wasn't really very spectacular... But for people like me, who lives in mountains never see before fireworks, thought it was very nice... Hmm here are 2 photos i managed to take... Not very nice... But just a view of what's it like..
-=P3ng=- | 7:34 pm
Saturday, August 14
Hmm, no time to post... very busy... loads to do, gotta rush a lot of things... tomorrow is a very special day... will be posting when I have time...
-=P3ng=- | 10:35 pm
Friday, August 13
I was expecting to add a post about today's talk on Genesis and Science... After the talk, i think i think not even ten entries will suffice... Seriously, just for that 2 to 3 hours, there was enough information to overload your mind... 3 times over! It answers doubts, questions that long existed in our minds, finally taken out and tackled wonderfully..
For Christians, we all know God created the universe. Most of us just take that in and believe by faith. But what if i tell you there is so much evidences and research done by professional scientists in their various fields that all of them point to the truth.. and that truth is also found in the bible..
Few fantastic discoveries I've learnt today.
-Dinosaurs were together with the animals created on the 6th day. Man lived with them before the great flood and after it..
-The fossils we see are not as old as they are said to be. Earth is only 6000+ years old. Not millions of billions years. (proven) Human footprints are found in dinosaurs fossils.
-There was a great flood. That shaped the grand canyon, and the earth today. Earth was hit with comets during that time as the moon also showed craters and all these comets seem to be coming from 1 direction.
-Plate tectnonics theory of millions of years for landforms to form is challenged when the plates actually moved very fast during the flood by the law of physics.
-the universe is smaller than what many thought. The universe in finite.
That is only the beginning... If you think I'm uttering nonsense, try going to www.answersingenesis.org and you'll find many evidences on those claims that are made..
1 very important lesson I've learnt is that always challenge theories that are taught based on assumptions.. things may not always be what Man think they are...
-=P3ng=- | 11:37 pm
Wednesday, August 11
For the past 2 days I've been facing a serious problem... Unproductivity and easily irritated by even the smallest things... The whole of yesterday went by without me even bother to tackle the problem. "It's all in the mind" I thought... Only when I prayed to God asking for His help then I realised the source of my problem.. Simply too tired out... I underestimated the 3 consecutive outings I had with YCG and thought that 7 hours of sleep was more than enough... I was wrong... Thankfully it got better with a proper rest this afternoon to get me start doing my tutorials properly... Guess I should really learn not to push my body too far off... Still, I wish i could be more productive... So much to do, and prelims are coming really soon... Haven't start revision... =s
-=P3ng=- | 7:01 pm
Monday, August 9
Though it's quite an old movie, I only managed to watch A Walk To Remember on friday afternoon. Even till today, I still have thoughts about the movie.
Besides a sweet romantic story, the movie has much more to it (not to mention a beautiful soundtrack too =D ). The story actually allowed me to draw some parallel to my own life even though the story takes place at least 2 decades ago. (No, not the wonderful romance story though I also hope that my romance life will also be that beautiful... nvm!)
The movie showed how a girl, being so faithful to God, remained innocent and pure while studying in the confused world of college where people seek popularity over righteousness. Her way of living touched an almost hopeless guy, changing his life totally from a jerk to a responsible gentleman. Through him, she witnessed a miracle.
While my case isn't that extreme, I've experienced a similar miracle myself when I met a special friend last year. She was the 1st person in my life that got me to believe that it is possible to live righteously and remain innocent and pure in the confused and dark world today. She inspired me to try achieve that goal in my life too. And that was the turning point of my life where I changed my path which eventually led me to God. I really thank God for her and pray as she continue to touch more lives while I too will try to seek that miracle in others.
-=P3ng=- | 10:03 am
Saturday, August 7
Sorry for the late post.. But think you must have guessed why I wasn't very enthu in posting earlier..
Things didn't turn out as expected on friday night... I left my class outing halfway just to make sure I'll be with my parents for the alpha.. I was waiting for my dad to return from work when he called, saying that he had an important meeting to attend. I could sense that he feel bad when he spoke to my mom on the phone. I thank God that they were willing to go in the first place. I guess that while we seek things to happen, we don't know what God's plan is. We do not know God's timing (I'm a very good example). I believe that there was a very good reason why my parents didn't go on friday. So I decide not to lose faith but be stronger knowing that God is in control. I've invited my parents to the session next sat where it will be the first official session of the adult alpha. Pray that this time things will turn out for the better and may God's will be done.
Because I loved my parents, I'll continue trying to reach out to them and hopefully God will have mercy on them..
-=P3ng=- | 10:25 pm
Friday, August 6
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love will last forever, but prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will all disappear.
Now we know only a little, and even the gift of prophecy reveals little!
But when the end comes, these special gifts will all disappear.
It's like this: When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child does.
But when I grew up, I put away childish things.
Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.
All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God knows me now.
There are three things that will endure--faith, hope, and love--and the greatest of these is love.
(1 Corinthians 13:4-13) (NIV & NLT)
-=P3ng=- | 5:56 pm
Thursday, August 5
To a dear friend of mine:
"Special" is a word that is used,
to describe something one-of-a-kind,
like a hug or a sunset
or a person who spreads love
with a smile or kind gesture.
"Special" describes people
who act from the heart
and keep in mind the hearts of others.
"Special" applies to something
that is admired and precious
and that can never be replaced.
"Special" is the word that best describes you
-=P3ng=- | 10:54 pm
Wednesday, August 4
Today was a tragic day for a classmate as her Mom parts from this world. My whole class went to her wake this afternoon at her house. While I give my deepest condolence, I did not felt totally sad inside because her mom was a catholic and to be with Christ should be something worth rejoicing about. Nevertheless, to part wth a love one isn't easy.
Pray that God will see them through this tough period and may He provide the strength and courage they require to continue their lives. Pray that God will recieve Amy's Mom spirit as she enters heaven and be with Christ.
~The most important aspect of Christianity is not the work we do, but the relationship we maintain and the surrounding influence and qualities produced by that relationship. That is all God asks us to give our attention to, and it is the one thing that is continually under attack~
-=P3ng=- | 9:12 pm
Tuesday, August 3
Yesterday on my way home at the bus stop, I met an old friend. At that point, I really felt that we should find a day sit down and catch up. I guess friendship is like fire, you need constant fuel to keep it burning.
While waiting for bus 12, we started chatting and before i knew it, we went into my conversion and becoming a Christian. He was very interested to know why and how it felt. At that point, I merely answered what he asked. No system of explanation, nothing about the gospel, just plain description of God's existence and how I can feel His presence and hear Him speak. Our conversation carried on even after we got on the bus. This was here I had difficulty speaking. I wasn't daring enough to speak boldly of what I know about God, and tried to keep myself as soft as possible. Obviously, given the strange lack of noise in the upper deck, i can hear myself very clearly. I suppose many others heard what I said about God being omnipresent and all-powerful. About other people believing in other religion due to fear. And about my own experience with God. Somehow, i felt very ackward even though I'm more than willing to share to my friend about God. In the end, the conversation moved on as I told him I'll find another day to share to him in greater detail.
Praise God that more people are coming to know Christ each day..
3 more days to the day my parents step into my church. Pray nothing goes wrong.
-=P3ng=- | 8:45 pm
Monday, August 2
Nothing much happened today, except that today was NAFTA test =s Being in OAC of course I have my own self-pride, thinking that this test isn't something to worry about. I'm sure you may have heard this quite a few times but never be complacent. Even if you think you will most likely do well for something, think again. We need God in our weakness and more importantly in our strengths as well. Never neglect God because you think you can do it.
-=P3ng=- | 9:21 pm
Sunday, August 1
Thank God, my parents agreed to attend the alpha dinner this coming friday. My dad stressed he is not interested about the topic and his aim objective of going is to know more about the people I meet at church.
Therefore, continue to pray that the dinner will change their minds as they hear about the truth for the 1st time. May the Lord's spirit soften their hearts as they hear more about God's salvation.
For it's saddens my heart to see my mom so devoted to worship idols which do not answer, and how they live their lives indulged in earthly things.
-=P3ng=- | 8:11 pm
You may not know that I face this problem where I'm doing things, I'll tend to be very aware of how others perceived me. Deep in my heart I seriously wish to be doing things out of my own good will, doing things because I want to, not because I want to look good in front of people. The problem now is I don't really know my own intention. It's like on my conscious level I think I'm alright, but sometimes I realise at the back of my mind, I'm monitoring my actions. How did I end up like this I do not know, but I knew this couldn't go on because it'll affect my relationship with God.
So I prayed about it on a afternoon while at my church retreat. Then immediately that night, while we having variety night, I somehow lost the game and got "sabo-ed" to do banana dance alone in front of the whole english and chinese congregation! Talk about no more image to worry about. Yet till now, I still not sure if this problem is solved, because i was seriously affected by a friend when he commented about my blog being too "religious".(Pardon me I do not blame him in anyway, in fact I thank him for his honesty) The issue here is I actually considered that I might have been too religious. Such thoughts are a nightmare and threatening to my faith.
Furthermore, when I am generous,well-mannered, show my concern and kindness,or when I'm sharing the overflowing love, forgiveness and grace that God has given me to others, my intentions get misunderstood. Hypocrite is an apt description. Sigh~
-=P3ng=- | 7:45 pm
-=Salt & Pepper Leaders' Retreat - Ubin Jun'07=-
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-=About Me=-
Ang Peng Siang
Bday:09/09/86
Bedok Lutheran Church
Accepted Christ:04/11/03
Working - Temp Job
NUS student in Aug
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